"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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An interesting "seeing someone" question

spiderman1979

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Hi there! I'm new here. I hope I'm posting in the right location. Years ago I used to be a total AFC, but things have changed. Since I started lating dancing a few years ago and got better and better at it, I began having girlfriends on a serial basis. At the beginning I made mistakes (failed tests), but due to the pickup community I now understand the error of my ways.

Anyway, to the question: Last night I met a girl in a dancing club. She was new there, and didn't know how to dance. So I took on the role of the teacher, I noticed her interest level rising on and on, and then I said that I had to go and asked her if she had e-mail. She replied that she did, and gave it to me. Then I asked for her phone number, to which she replied "OK, but just for the record, I'm seeing somene right now". I whispered immediately in her ear in a conspirational tone: "You don't tell me about your problems, I don't tell you about mine, deal?". She smiled and asked whether I wanted her home number. I replied "certainly", got her number and ejected the scene.

Since I haven't been in ths situation before what, according to your experince, which is probably a lot bigger than mine, is my best course of action, especially if I call her (she might say that she isn't comfortable getting together right now because she's seeing someone but we can send each other mail. That could be dangerous because I don't want to enter the friendship zone. She really is something special and I want her).

Please help me.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Inquire

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seeing is not goin steady, by all means procede.
 

spiderman1979

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Sorry

I apologize for the spelling mistakes. I typed quickly. Note that I meant "latin dancing" "seeing someone".
Spiderman1979.

P.S. If you were girls, I wouldn't have apologized. I would have
busted your balls for needing corrections ...:)
But you are guys and I have the deepest respect for this forum.
 

Inquire

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Re: Sorry

Originally posted by spiderman1979
I apologize for the spelling mistakes. I typed quickly. Note that I meant "latin dancing" "seeing someone".
Spiderman1979.

.
so she is dancing wit someone else?

if so, dont be dancing with her but "dating" her. set ur own zone blah blah blah.
 

spiderman1979

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You seem to have misunderstood me

She is not dancing with someone else (actually in the club once I asked her to dance, she danced only with me for more than an hour before I ejected). She's seeing someone else as in "dating" him. Note that she didn't say that he was her boyfriend and note the way I answered her.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Inquire

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tats wut i thought the first time, go to my first post.

seeing someone is not goin steady wit them, by all means procede.
 
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