"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

An Important Lesson in Dating Women: Never Assume Anything

ELMER_GANTRY

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 5, 2011
Messages
193
Reaction score
155
Location
West of the Mississippi
A typical response from a guy goes something like this:


"I had a great first date with this girl but when I called her for a second date she flaked."

OR


"We had three great dates but she still won't have sex with me no matter what I do."


The problem with this type of reasoning is that you are only assuming, you are not taking into consideration on how the girl is feeling. Maybe you thought the date went really great, but she did not think it was that great herself. If the dates were really that great, she would go out with you for a second with no problem. After the three dates, she would have sex with you if she felt that was supposed to happen.

Never assume anything because you will never know if the girl is feeling the same way. Her actions will determine if your assumptions are correct, but still, never assume until you see the proof of her actions show she has true interest. When you start making assumptions, that will give you a false sense of reasoning where you will turn out to be wrong on all accounts.

The easiest way to determine if your date was an actual success, is that she will agree to have a second date. Any excuses, flakes, hesitations will prove that the date wasn't a success and that she doesn't have a high interest level.

If you went out on three dates and haven't got laid that means she doesn't find you attractive enough. The truth hurts, but it is what it is.

Some guys might chime in and say that you got laid after the third date. Well, that's all good in all, but look how everything turned out afterwards. I'm pretty sure that it wasn't you that was wearing the pants in that relationship.

Always go on the facts that you have along with the attitude and behavior she is giving you.

Flakes, excuses, hesitation, no sex = no interest or attraction

The best way to determine that your dates were sucessful is when you sleep with the girl. Then you can declare mission accomplished claiming you had a great date.

Don't just assume it was great on your behalf, you never know if the girl was thinking the same thing. Obviously, when you don't get a second date or no sex it was a bust. Never assume, always go on her actions to how she is reacting after each date you have. Each step you advance the closer you are on your way to getting laid. This is what you should be going on, her actions, not assumptions. You will have better results and less questions by not assuming in all your dating endeavors.
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

Read more...

Rainman4707

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 30, 2012
Messages
1,731
Reaction score
602
Yes I hear you.
I think all of us have assumed a date went really well then been disappointed when her interest is not as high as we thought.
 

nismo-4

Moderator
Joined
Jan 31, 2005
Messages
4,438
Reaction score
1,142
Location
From New Orleans, Louisiana to Atlanta, Georgia!!!
If her actions show low interest, kick her to the curb.

It really is that simple.
 

Redwood

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 4, 2014
Messages
419
Reaction score
172
Location
Houston, Texas
I like Judge Nismo's "take no bullsh1t attitude".

Very effective. I believe if more men who come on SS picked up on his advice, the flaking would drop considerably.
 

asa_don

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 31, 2013
Messages
531
Reaction score
126
Location
S Town
nismo-4 said:
If her actions show low interest, kick her to the curb.

It really is that simple.
agreed :up:

most guys chase after her more when she shows low interest.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

logicallefty

Moderator
Joined
Apr 26, 2006
Messages
5,993
Reaction score
5,136
Age
52
Location
Northeast Florida, USA
ELMER_GANTRY said:
Always go on the facts that you have along with the attitude and behavior she is giving you.

Flakes, excuses, hesitation, no sex = no interest or attraction

The best way to determine that your dates were sucessful is when you sleep with the girl. Then you can declare mission accomplished claiming you had a great date.
Agreed for the most part. The on difference would be that I don't generally expect sex on a first date, even though I have had it many times. But I do expect a good kiss in the middle of the date or at the end.

How she responds to kisses and then like you said, how she responds to the request for a second date, those are what I would say. I give sex to maybe date 4 or 5 but not after.
 
Top