An Experience

[FreeStyleZ]

Effort, trust me, you are doing things that most guys would never get themselves to do. Feel good about it man! I just have a few comments though. If your goals for right now are to just practice getting over the approaching and the fear of asking for the number then you are doing absolutely great.

Though if you want to practice getting better at building the girls interest level so that she actually wants to give you the number there are a few things you should probably work on. Neg hits and being c+f as you probably already know. During these approaches i havent read any of them... whats your typical approach like? Also im wondering... like in your third week, did you basically just go walking around a campus and stop girls as they were walking in a certain direction and talk to them? And after the convo you just go walking the other direction and talk to another? Just curious.

My gradual progress with women has gone something like... being scared to talk to them.... then, getting confident talking to them but being stuck in friend zone because not showing my interest, making my move, etc... then revamping my whole mindset with females to prevent getting stuck in friend zone.. Ive always been able to do approaches and been able to get phone numbers but the last recent problem I had was the constant flaking. id get the correct phone numbers... call and talk a few times and get flaked on in many different ways. Probably the last 20 numbers i got were flakes. Now that ive been home for winter break ive been doing alot of reading and learning about how to make women attracted to you and plan to go back to campus and put these to work. So basically im ALMOST to where i want to be which is being able to appraoch, number close, then get the date.. but im stuck at getting the number and no date. Maybe i should keep a journal like this as well. I wouldnt be as consistent and focused as you though so it wouldnt be as interesting to read.

Keep up the good work man!

 

[EFFORT]

The Rejection Week!!!

well man crucial day...awesome tho, lots of fun


i actually read that advanced dj bootcamp post by guitar wiz and i got very motivated by the weeks for some reason!

i saw that chick i number closed 2 days ago and sat and talked with her this morning....shes hot but it turns out she was a serious druggy back in her days (hot hot girl tho)

anyways i went to classes and everything ......i did a simple approach on this HB7 and got her name on the way to class but the convo died short.....i feel condfient tho .....today i've just been doing hw and been busy chilling with buds to work on BC



FreeStyleZ thanks for your post man!! the approaches that i did in week 2-3 were all in my home town on the local campus (35,000 students) i just went to campus and found chicks that were walking and started all my convos with them. Sometimes i bailed on them and other times i let them go as far as they were gonna go and then just go to the next (there that many chicks there)

Right now i'm back at my school tho and we only got about 5,550 students so getting rejected and having to constanly see the people again is making me go nuts!! but it has to be done for my personal growth...but anyways good job with your progress man i hope to join you there after this boot camp!!

BIG DAY TOMORROW and 120% is gonna be the word of the day since thats the EFFORT i'll be working off of!!!!!

 

[EFFORT]

Rejection Week


Sup Ladies



ok so today i had a great hang over...but i got over it and remebered back to the things i learned in the first weeks that i've stopped doing....so i greeted lots of people and talked to everyone and not just chicks....nothing can help your conversation skills more than just constantly talking to people...so i'm gonna add the amount of convo's and relative number of hi's and ec's i do in a day to just keep track and maintain the new skills learned.

Well focusing on chicks.....i talked some with the HB8 thats in my history class but my conversation skills were well i'll say lacking ....(thats what actually got me to realize i need to not just talk to chicks but everyone to develop better convo skills.....i also read Pimpologist's whole talking guide thing and its money!)

I approached this HB8 that was playing with this radio controlled car...i went and said that looks like fun let me have a turn! so i drove it around and we talked some but still the convo was just lacking....i would of gone for the number close but she mentioned how her bf was gonna pick her up for the weekend

Last chick i approached was a HB6.5....we talked for i'd say 4min and AGAIN the convo was lacking ...not bad by any means but not good....and i didn't go for a number close ....(kicks himself) it just didn't seem right based on the convo we had.

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Tonight we head up to this party...my friend some how runs over his bowl so he gets all mad about that .....pretty funny i think

anyways we get to the place (4 of us but only me and my bud go in) and i'm infront and walk in...ok so the party is full of these preppy white baseball players and stuck up volleyball chicks so with me and my bud not white...a very akward situation was made

we walked in and felt like the whole party just stopped...that was one hell of a shame attack!! we made our way outside to the deck and i just got confident as hell (probably because of the shame attack) and started talking to the 5 or so strangers out there (2 dudes 3 chicks) ....i connect with them quick by saying how akward it all was and from there we all talked for about 15min...they actually didn't know anyone there either..they had to leave tho so we bounced after that and found our boys left us so we had to walk all the way back to school

i still think its crazy how confident i got from that shame attack!


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ok so its obvious that i'm more scared of getting rejected here at this school that i'm at now than i was at the campus in my home town which is a whole lot bigger (said 35000 the last time but now that i think about it probably around 20000)... and the one i'm at has about 5500 students and 2500-3000 or so don't stay on campus

so i wrote down the reasons i'm scared of getting rejected here then looked at them in a logical way

Fear 1--> I’ll constantly see the chicks again that i get rejected by

Reality
Yes, it’s likely that I will see the chicks again…but not as often as I’m thinking! But in reality its no big deal if I see them again! Why does it matter? Nothing else was gonna take place and at least I attempted something. And nothing is wrong with what I’m doing either. Its college and I enjoy meeting new people..no reason to be ashamed... i should actually be proud that I’m doing something to improve myself.

Fear 2--> People will laugh at me and talk about me

Reality
Most likely people won’t talk about it and if they do it’ll be for a very short while…seriously look at it……a guy talking to a chick and going for a number close…she says no… wow that’s really some exciting stuff to talk about! and at least i had the balls to even try


Fear 3--> I’ll end up asking girls that all know each other and they’ll talk about it and laugh (hahah how terrible my mind is for coming up with foolishness like this)

Reality
This again is highly unlikely unless i crash and burn like hell and still the chances are small! This is not worth worrying about in the least bit and if for some crazy reason they are together and start laughing at me then it’ll be hell of a good shame attack! and that means confidence!!


so those 3 foolish reasons are the jail i've been living in ever since i've gotten back from xmas break

I feel great for nailing that head on and i'm ready for some BC!!!

Skills learned in Week 1,2 and 3 (Daily Totals)

Hi's---> about 25
Ec's----> 30-40
Conversations (with anyone)---> 12


Rejection Week Stats

Numbers 1
Rejections 0 (soon to be 10 !!!!!!!)


EFFORT

 

[EFFORT]

Rejection Week


wake up at about 1:30pm in the afternoon and food is on the mind


on the way i see HB6.5 that i've been talking to so we kinda talk (already have her number) then i roll off and get some food

my bud was there eating so we talk and then talk with these HB8's (already kinda know one of em....but not the other)....we all talked for awhile and it was great....we laughed a lot and i was really funny i think it lifted there moods

later on i see this HB8 (real thick) walking so i start talking with her...turns out shes from out of town but i played that situation really wrong and didn't go for the close...see what i've been doing to much lately is making the convo all serious and scripted but after talking more with all kinds of people lately i found out that each conversation is a unique experience...i've been reading all these conversation tips but the best tip i can give right now is to always be having convo's with people (strangers,friends,family,anyone!!) ,listen, and your conversation experience will guide you through


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Tonight at this party i talk some with this HB6ish....she was pretty flirty but she left before i was able to go for a number close

later i go this other party and there 8 dudes and 1 chick (every dude there is obviously trying to get with her...HB8.5)....so the chick is drunk and all but very flirty...she talks with me and it goes good given the situation but keeping her interest was hard

after about 20min there while surrounded by about 6 dudes i tell her i'm out and give her my phone and tell her to put her number in it...she does it and i wish the gentlemen a good night and walk out

late now so i'm calling it a night

Skills learned in Week 1,2 and 3 (Daily Totals)

Hi's---> about 15
Ec's----> 20
Conversations (with anyone)---> 14


Rejection Week Stats

Numbers 2
Rejections 0

 

[EFFORT]

Rejection Week

woke up...looked outside....and my eyes were greeted to the ice age ...


no snow...but ICE!! very slippery ice and cold temps


This campus is deader than hell on the weekends and the ice kept everyone that is here in


i did do a lot of walking around the dorm and talked with lots of people (all dudes tho since its an all guy dorm )

now i look at every person as someone to practice convo skills on...and its really interesting what people tell you now that i think about it....i've heard all kinds of stories, learned new things, got good laughs, made new friends and improved my conversation skills.....by just asking simple questions and LISTENING

well classes are starting late tomorrow....but thats ok

i'm gonna start studying more in the library in hopes of finding more chances to talk with HB's and go for number closes/rejections

Skills learned in Week 1,2 and 3 (Daily Totals)

Hi's---> about 20
Ec's----> about 25
Conversations (with anyone)---> 10


Rejection Week Stats

Numbers 2
Rejections 0

 

[FreeStyleZ]

hey im just curious... what college do you go to and what race are you.

I'm just wondering, you dont have to answer if you dont want.

 

[TheCollector]

Hey man your progress has been excellent. I like how you view every conversation as a way to improve your conversation skills. I definitely have to keep that in mind when i start approaching chicks again. Keep up the good work bro.

 

[EFFORT]

Rejection Week


No classes today because of the ice storm!! A good thing and a bad thing.....

since not many people were on campus an approach was hard to find...i managed to keep practicing convo skills though....i made some new friends and talked with some people i usually wouldn't of talked to and they turn out to be really cool

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later on tonight i go to a buds room and there a lot of people in it...i sit next to HB6.5 (has a really pretty face just needs to lose some weight and would be a HB7.5) and i know her kinda from approaching her before and i also have a class with her

everyone is watching a movie so i start flirting with her and tickle her some and she starts doing the same to me and before i know it were cuddled up together making out! (shes a really good kisser and has the nicest lips .....actually would of upgraded her to a 7 after that makeout session)

so that was fun and i actually forgot to number close her!! its all good though i'll see her again for sure since everybody sees everybody all the time around here

its looking like there aren't gonna be any classes here tomorrow (i sure hope so cause i'm really tired)
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FreeStyleZ i'm a curious one just like you and its actually a good thing most of the time (sometimes you find a lot of stuff out)...but i rather not reveal that information right now

TheCollector thanks for your good words (even tho i still have a long way to go) ....Viewing every conversation you have as a way to improve helps cause when it comes time to approach a HB you'll see that its really no different from talking with any of the other people you've been talking too....its also great cause some people are hard to pull into a good conversation...so i look at them as a challenge now

Skills learned in Week 1,2 and 3 (Daily Totals)

Hi's---> about 25
Ec's----> about 25
Conversations (with anyone)---> 17


Rejection Week Stats

Numbers 2 (soon to be 3 once i see makeout buddy again)
Rejections 0

 

[EFFORT]

Rejection Week



ehhh...crap day in terms of bootcamp...were out of school again and i haven't done a cold approach on a chick in forever! i feel like i could turn back to my old ways soon if i don't get on it


i was with my buds in the pool room and these 3 banging chicks were there and i actually found myself to scared to say anything let alone make eye contact wtf!

i know they were a group but still this is why i'm doing bootcamp just for a situation like this

i didn't locate the girl i kissed yesterday yet...but i'm not worried..

it still was a fun day but not being able to do approachs is taking its toll on me....school is back on tomorrow so i'll stay positive and do what i have to do...I'm NOT TURNING BACK INTO AN AFC!!


Skills learned in Week 1,2 and 3 (Daily Totals)

Hi's---> about 10
Ec's----> about 10
Conversations (with anyone)---> 9


Rejection Week Stats

Numbers 2
Rejections 0

 

[FreeStyleZ]

i was just wondering becuase it really soudns like u go to the same college as me.... based on the weather you're describing.. and not having classes for a few days.

 

[EFFORT]

i approach this HB7.5 and had about a 3min convo with her (not one of my better convos) ....its been so long since i could just keep on doing approaches and crash and burn all i wanted

thats actually how i made so much progress on approaching chicks ..cause i would do a convo then be able to keep on doing them cause of abundant supply of chicks in my home town...and man did that make me confident

but here GRRR!! ok let me calm down (or maybe i need to get MAD AND USE THAT ENERGY)....its just so fustrating i make all this progress and now things are messing up on me...i'll stay with it tho...i just don't know what to do

i guess doing whatever it takes to find chicks and approach em is the answer
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i talk to this chick at dinner (HB8) for a hot second ..but i got her name and she actually seemed kinda interested so i'll go for a number close the next time i see her

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Effort - I've been following your progress. Do you think a different approach is required in a small town or small campus environment? They usually do things at a slower pace and are comfortable with guys that belong in cliques. As the party you went to illusrated, they saw strangers as unwelcomed - maybe this is the case with the cold approach as well. I think you may have to get into some of these cliques and build a rapport with your audience to build up a comfort level. What do you think?

What is your racial makeup?

 

[EFFORT]

PuertoRican_Lover i've never thought about it like that and i think your right...everything does move at a slower pace here and the cold approach might not be the best thing!

i've been putting so much effort in trying to find these chicks and then approach them and close with them when i would see them a lot more.....and i haven't been succesful with that and thats whats been fustrating me


with that pressure off i think i'm in great shape and now i know what it is i need to do

Thanks for steering me back on course man


EFFORT

p.s......I'm african american with alittle cherokee in me from my mother's side

 

[isotope]

Originally posted by FreeStyleZ
i was just wondering becuase it really soudns like u go to the same college as me.... based on the weather you're describing.. and not having classes for a few days.

well, freestyles, why dont you volunteer that info to EFFORT, and then if it is a match, he can say so and you guys can be wingmen ofr eachother

 

[FreeStyleZ]

You're about 3 days late, I already did this.

 

[EFFORT]

So i go back to the start of this thread and just read the WHOLE thing through word for word....i remeber saying i wanna be able to approach chicks and close in any situation

yea ANY situation....so this is just another situation

i'm basically being a pvssy at this point if i compare it to the previous weeks!! Those weeks i was nervous as hell...like shaking nervous...and got some odd looks...but i did it and got over that fear (each time its been easier)

i've also been thinking WAY to much...the previous weeks i'd just read what it was i had to do and went out..did it...and learned from experience...then posted what happen incase anyone here wanted to give me a tip...but now i'm just thinking and thinking and confusing myself with so many different conflicting thoughts.

I need to save this thinking for my textbooks...and when it comes to chicks i just need to do whatever comes to mind and see what happens...then learn

now obviously i'm not at the IDEAL place...but hell there still chicks here to approach....i've just been trying to avoid getting out of my comfort zone...while in the previous weeks (even tho scared) i welcomed the unknown land

now this week (GETTING 10 REJECTIONS) is a crucial week because it'll naturally make me more confident because i won't care if get rejected or not ...and that'll bring out the real me since fear won't be holding me back

ok so PuertoRican_Lover i know u said that being in some cliques and establishing rapport was a good thing to do and your 100% right

but i've been over looking the goal.....the goal is to get 10 rejections ....and once i get those i feel that i'll be in different mindstate since i'll no longer fear it ...so going up to random chicks and saying whatever won't be a scary experience for me anymore.

Ok time to put myself on the line and get these rejections once and for all

EFFORT

 

[EFFORT]

Rejection Day 1

Hello everyone

i go to breakfast this morning and this foreign chick (HB7.5) sits at the table right beside mine so i turn over and start talking with her....we talk for about 8min or so....she has to go and couldn't pull myself to ask for the number (kicks himself)

on the way back from class i approach this HB8 and actually didn't realize she was the chick thats in my history class.....so we talk and it goes great!....i wasn't trying hard or anything really easy going convo (i love those kind)......so we talk for about 10min or so....we had good rapport going and shes in my class so didn't feel the need to number close her

Then i run into HB7 (fvck buddy from last semester) that i haven't seen since last semester....so we talk and hang out for a good long time 45-50min and i flirt arounnd with her a lot.....she half way stays on campus but anyways i'll have to be meeting up with her soon

i eat lunch with HB6.7ish that i've been talking with for awhile (a very flirty relationship...would of gone in for the kill already but she has some mega UB **** blocking friends)

later i bump into HB7 that i did a met from a cold approach last semester (just that kinda day!) so i hug her and we talk and flirt and she tells me to call her tonight (so i do but her number didn't work like always even though she said it would)
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Tonight we go to this party...pretty small but there was this HB9 there that was sort of drunk....but i talk with her and go for the rejection but she gives me her number

ok so as of now this is my bootcamp goal


1. GET OVER MY FEAR OF REJECTION

i'm gonna pace myself and aim for 1-2 rejections a day...didn't meet the quota today

But tomorrow is already here!!!!

Numbers 3
Rejections 0

 

[FreeStyleZ]

win win situation if you are looking to get rejected. Its either get rejected and work your way through boot camp, or have success and be damn'd proud about it.

 

[Kelson]

Loving the thread man, best of luck.

I'm from a small college myself (less than 900 girls of 4000 students) and I've run into the same fear of rejection as you did (after all, I'm going to be seeing these people again!). I'll remember to ignore that more in the future. Besides which, there really are quite a few girls from other schools at the frat parties.

At home I have a 20,000 person college, University at Buffalo, where I can practice the DJing (spring break, maybe?). I think I'll try some rejection quotas.

Currently I'm working on the conversation issue too after what I considered a complete failure on a date with a girl I number closed. The conversation went nowhere, but I think it was partly due to the fact that she wasn't volunteering subjects for me to push forward. I need to learn how to maneuver people into that.

 

[EFFORT]

Rejection Day 2


woke up late today and did some studying and watched some good old college bball...then some buds of mine wanted to go to a strip club so i went along with em

i had a great time there (ehh didn't spend to much money).....any how nothing to add to the quota today (strippers will never reject ya in the club that is)


Kelson i'm feeling ya man its tough working under conditions like that...where as at a big school things are a ton more easy and your mind doesn't start scaring you with the worst outcomes ...like your reputation or whatever ruined cause u get rejected by some chick.......but really thats a load of sh*t!!! I try to think of this whole BC experience on the lines that its gonna be scary now but in the long run the time that follows it will be great



FreeStyleZ thanks again for your post...your 100% right with it being a win win situation (i just need to get that engraved into my mind)


Off to sleep i got a rejection quota to dent!