Am *I* too argumentative with her?

[ubercat]

OP you re just trying too hard. Have you ever heard the saying love grows in the spaces between you.

 

[TitusRamsies]

My friend and I feel the opposite, we looked at her patterns (you don't have all the details we do) and she seems to enjoy the ups and downs....She says she doesn't want to argue, or talk on the phone for a couple days...then she calls right when she wakes up and talks to me for 3 and a half hours....including an argument (although they are getting milder without us hanging up on each other at my request, although I still sometimes want to).

Another night we argue for 4 hours until 3 AM, all the while I'm trying to get her off the phone, but she keeps arguing even though I keep trying to end the argument and talk about something else. Then finally I succeed in ending the argument....then she calls me again 4 hours later to talk for 3 more hours on the phone as soon as she gets up, which starts another argument, in all of which she is very dramatic and childish. My friend has overheard them on speakerphone and he sees it now and he and I both feel that she says she doesn't like arguing, but yet calls me constantly and it leads to an argument....why not just give me the suite number? Then we talk for hours and when it's done, she still calls the next morning to argue again. In fact I can't remember the last time I called her. She calls me almost every day to talk for hours...In fact although she called me steadily and regularly before and complained that I never call her on a nearly weekly basis, she has started calling me even more since we started arguing...but she only argues about trivial stuff, never about important stuff that she knows I would walk over....

That said, I've noticed that in the arguments I noted above, it's stuff she doesn't want me to do for her (but in a couple cases she secretly did) so I'm not sure if she's trying to get me to dominate her or what. I know she likes that I lead. But I also know my last ex gf felt we argued too much...apparently 1 argument every few months was too much. She was an emotional mess and could never grow up, even as a 25 year old she was immature...

Plus...

LMAO why are you talking to her for 3 hrs...you should start making yourself scarce bro. Every LTR I've been in that has lasted, was the result of me being so busy that I rarely had time to tend to the niceties of the relationship, yet they stay. Your girl sounds like a narcissist that craves attention whether its positive or negative. Let her do whatever she want's( within reason), shes going to anyways and just not tell you. None of them are trustworthy and the only way to not get burned is to always have one foot out the door at all time, have other options, be selfish, and maintain a strong frame. Once you have it ingrained in you psyche that you are the prize you will act like it, and realize that she should be worried about what you are doing, not vice versa. If she crosses a boundary, exit stage left and never look back. Never argue with women, I repeat never... they are not logical. She will say something , you will repeat it verbatim and she will say she didn't say that ....is that logical to you. The minute an argument starts with your broad withdraw your attention, EVERYTIME, when things go smoothly dote on her a little, EVERYTIME. She will learn that her arguing isn't going to give her the attention she desires. Value your time a lot more. I got 99 problems but a bish ain't one.

NOTE: wtf are you arguing over being able to send her food, or a valentines gift , leave the feminine stuff to your femine counterpart, upkeep of the relationship is her job.

 

[Zimbabwe]

OP this is is by no means a healthy relationship, please read your own post with a rational mind.