"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Am I screwed?

mrblue

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Background: I met this girl at a friend's party 2 weeks ago. I am in my mid 20s and she just graduated college and moved to New York. She gave me her number and we went on 3 dates (just got done with the third). On the first date she was still getting over a cold so there was nearly zero keno. On the second date I totally got the idea that this girl was playing hard to get as she a) came back to my apt but did not want to kiss me b) sat on my bed and did not want to kiss me. Anyways, onto date 3, which I just got done with. We hold hands quite a bit and we hug, but when I move in for the kiss she pulls away. At the end of the date, we wait for the train together and she tells me that she just moved to the city and wants to establish a network of friends before she has a bf and that she would like to be friends first... what the heck does that mean? Am I just in the friend zone and that I have no shot? What does lets just be friends first mean? What should I do?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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She, a stranger to you and a stranger to the town, went to your apt. on a second or third date means she is not a virgin and is bold!!

She is keeping her options opened - meaning that you are not her first priority!!Do not call her unless she calls you!!!
 

aliasguy

Master Don Juan
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Looks like you're just one of the early nodes in her new "network."

And she's not gonna f*ck you, either because she's not attracted or your game was off.

You are screwed.
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skirtChaser

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are we going by the three strike rule here or not?.....you go out with a girl three times and if she doesn't put out you move on. cause once she strikes out, shes not going too. she probably over at some dudes house on her back right now, ill lay money on it. you're her free entertainment.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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young_gun

Master Don Juan
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Give up. You're fighting an uphill battle.
 
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