There is zero history of health problems in my family. I might live until I'm 105 given my excellent lifestyle
There is zero history of health problems in my family! No one in my family has ever died! I come from a long line of immortals!
The World Health Organization wants to use my blood as a cure to the common cold!
My skin can never age!
The movie Highlander is loosely based on my life!
I am the most muscular man in Chicago! I am the best car salesman in the world!
I am the wealthiest man on the planet (for my area)!
People from my planet can fly!
Every poster on SoSuave would gladly kill themselves if they could only change places with me (except Guru1000)!
I have the best social circle in Chicago, with the best status!
I go to the best bars, clubs, concerts, and events!
My wingmen are James Cameron and Martin Scorcese!
All I want to do is find a filthy, dirty club wh0re with a heart of gold! And yet, even with all my advantages I have not found one!
Life is unfair.