It’s not them, it’s you. A couple factors are at play:
- They sense that your value is at an upward trajectory but that you haven’t internalized that value yet: Just like a good investment opportunity, the most favorable terms for a potential investor will be had when a company is still a little ‘desperate’ & hasn’t realized its full potential.
- You’re subcommunicating a bf vibe: Again, because you’re still a little ’desperate’. Why give it away for free, when you’re on the brink of commitment? Your best play is to disqualify yourself. I do this by talking about other girls, telling them I’m a free spirit, hitting on other girls in front of them—but it took a lot of work to build that frame. Start small & just talk like a guy who has options & won’t commit.
- You’re not sexual enough: Providers aren’t comfortable with their sexuality. Lovers are. The rules change drastically. Work on talking more about sex (not sex w/ her, just sex in general) & making bold eye contact. You’ll probably be incongruent at first, but work on getting to the point where you can talk about sex with no hang ups or sense of shame.
You’re at a stage we’ve all been thru—but be careful. Plenty of girls will be trying to lock you down at a favorable (for them) rate—and since there’s an apparent embargo for intimacy you’ll be inclined to rationalize one of these girls as being higher quality than they really are. This might be a good learning experience, but it’ll knock you out of the game for a couple years & expose you to long term risks (especially if you knock her up).
My advice, and 21 y/o me wouldn’t’ve taken it, is to avoid commitment at all costs until you are capable of achieving abundance. This process will be painful, expose you to more social pressure, leave you with long azz dry spells, but the rewards, in the end, are innumerable. You’ll come into a better relationship with yourself & be able to see things much more clearly. Remember, the girls that demand commitment don’t charge all of us that same price & act very differently around the guys who sexually excite them.