"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
alcoholism
- Thread starter undesputable
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
familyguyfan
Master Don Juan
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You just helped further prove my point as to why it would be dumb to do it...
It's a bad drug where the negatives far outweigh the positives. Stick to pot and shrooms.
And why would you want to have the effect of being able to drink twice as much but not get as drunk? That basically just nullifies the point of drinking.
undesputable
Master Don Juan
nah man ive been around that **** for some time now, and with a lot of will power ive been able to stay away from it. if im going to do some really bad **** like that i rather do some x. but thats not the point ive quit drugs altogether, except for alcohol which is the most fun, but ironically i feel that is affecting me the worst. ive cut down on the drinking anyways bc im training for boxing. it sucks tho bc just one night of no sleep and lots of drinking can ruin a whole week of hard training. thats all it takes, one day.
Aztec
Master Don Juan
Reflect on your statements.
I hardly see a response that really answered your concern.
Alcohol is highly possible to be a precursor to any addictive substance. It obviously shows when you said that you look forward to getting hammered.
It is probably funny now because you are young but WATCH IT!!! At least, you can identify that something is probably wrong in this picture.
A lot of people (ie college-age folks) use and abuse substances and let go of these habits when they get their own jobs, families etc. Meaning they outgrow this sh1t. Also, a lot of people get stuck. And when they get stuck, they are stuck for a loooong time (short time if they die soon).
Watch families get destroyed by alcoholism. Maybe spending multiple times in jail for DWI/DUI....maybe for vehicular manslaughter. Maybe spending your and/or taxpayers' dollars going in and out of detox/rehab. Maybe that's your thing or maybe not. You have those choices.
Some "experts" believe that some people are prone to this "disease" anyway and it could be hereditary. Don't believe in this complete BS because it isn't true. You can get out of this mess without any formal treatment or going to any "anonymous" groups. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
I can't tell you to stop because you may tend to do the opposite and start binging everyday, but just keep the consequences in mind (or the benefits of not being an alky or a druggie)
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
DrMetallica
Master Don Juan
familyguyfan
Master Don Juan
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Of course he looks forward to getting drunk at a party. Just about everyone that goes to a party looks forward to it beforehand. That's not necessarily a sign of alcoholism.
You are right though that most people grow out of the frequent nights of drunken partying, but some do not, and that is when it becomes a problem.
You're completely wrong though that alcoholism cannot be hereditary. You won't necessarily only become an alcoholic if someone in your family before you has, but if that is the case, then you will be more prone to it. Native americans are perfect examples of alcoholism being hereditary.
And in his current situation of just getting drunk at parties with his friend, you're right, he doesn't need formal treatment to stop. But, a full-blown alcoholic does need formal treatment to stop.
Aztec
Master Don Juan
Fruit doesn't fall far from the tree. This is because they see what their family members do, therefore they emulate them consciously or not. Monkey see, monkey do. Not because it's genetic. One has the choice to break the cycle.
I agree that full-blown, out of control alcoholics need some sort of a jumpstart or "slap to the back of the head" by sending them to rehab in the beginning for evaluation and treatment. Keep in mind that a lot of these people tend to recidivate due to the "teachings" they get from inside.
I also used to look forward to weekends because that meant hanging out with my army buddies and getting that Pabst Blue Ribbon in to my system. As a matter of fact, I still do. Thinking about it, it's not because I'm looking forward getting hammered but being in the company of my friends. I don't know what undesputable's situation is. Some people makes excuses just to be intoxicated, be it around people or in isolation. That's the difference.
familyguyfan
Master Don Juan
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Nope, you're still wrong there. While that is the case sometimes, it still can be genetics. It doesn't even have to be in your immediate family. Could be grandfather, aunt, uncle, whoever. Once again I bring up the Native American case.
And it has little to do with "breaking the cycle" because if you have a grandfather that was an alcoholic for example, it doesn't necessarily mean you will definitely be an alcoholic. It just means you are more prone to being one yourself.
penkitten
Master Don Juan
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
PRMoon
Master Don Juan
hmmmm...
It appears to me that alchol is a drug. A widely available and widely accepted drug.
Not saying I don't like it...even love it but none-the-less alchol is a drug. So like any other brain and mind altering drug, there are going to be certain addictive qualities to it, thats just kind of how the way world works. Sure many of us may or may not go down that road becuase many of us don't know what it's like to be that poor, or lose that much, or have some kind of emotinal void, or just escape from reality etc etc, all of those things that alcholics couple together as their reason for drinking. But again that's what drug attics do. The only way all of society will be rid of alcholism would be to remove alchol all together. Maybe it'll happen, but it won't be in this lifetime.
undesputable
Master Don Juan
i dont think that will ever happen... It has already happened in the past....didnt last long.alcohol will always be around.
PRMoon
Master Don Juan
You never really know. I mean society might some day combat the damages that we do to ourselves as humans, and one day be rid of all harmful entertainment drugs. It seems very unlikely now because of the way things are but certianly in a few hundred, few thousand years (If humans are still around) such a thing could be possible.