After 3 dates, gone 'cold'?

[metro_soldier91]

hi,
met a girl on tinder, first date was a hike, after which we went to a bar, then back to hers, for drinks and I found it easy to get along with her and escalted- we had sex.
I set up 2 more meet ups which both resulted in sex at her place, so basically saw her 3 times in 3 weeks staying at her place. the sex got better each time, was not limited to the bedroom.

Messaging was very low- kept it short and simple- mainly for organising the dates, but also a few responses to her asking about my day etc, but not much. She did ask for my snapchat , to which i said nah we can just keep using this(messanger)

a few things: she told me about the last guy she saw, how he is basically a stalker who is crazy in love with her, sends her massive texts, handwritten letters, rings her, drives past her house, leaves gifts at the door. I just laughed at this, but also suggested a restraining order. she seemed quite freaked out by it but also found it funny. and she told me about her ex who she had a long distance relationship with, but would never want sex when they met.

So anyway, I had a crazy busy week at work so, asked her on a date the night before, to which i got: "I'm away in _____ tomorrow"
no response back from me, knew i left it pretty late to ask so got on with my weekend. But the lack on rescheduling by her was an indicator.
got a message from her over the weekend asking about my day, then her telling me to have a good day yesterday. I decided to hit her up and ask her out Friday night. the response I got was just "could do"
not a yes, so must be a no?

advice on how to proceed please

personally don't think "could do" deserves a response
and asking for a proper answer is needy, why would i keep my friday free for a 'possibility'

cheers in advance

 

[powersize]

hi,
met a girl on tinder, first date was a hike, after which we went to a bar, then back to hers, for drinks and I found it easy to get along with her and escalted- we had sex.
I set up 2 more meet ups which both resulted in sex at her place, so basically saw her 3 times in 3 weeks staying at her place. the sex got better each time, was not limited to the bedroom.

Messaging was very low- kept it short and simple- mainly for organising the dates, but also a few responses to her asking about my day etc, but not much. She did ask for my snapchat , to which i said nah we can just keep using this(messanger)

a few things: she told me about the last guy she saw, how he is basically a stalker who is crazy in love with her, sends her massive texts, handwritten letters, rings her, drives past her house, leaves gifts at the door. I just laughed at this, but also suggested a restraining order. she seemed quite freaked out by it but also found it funny. and she told me about her ex who she had a long distance relationship with, but would never want sex when they met.

So anyway, I had a crazy busy week at work so, asked her on a date the night before, to which i got: "I'm away in _____ tomorrow"
no response back from me, knew i left it pretty late to ask so got on with my weekend. But the lack on rescheduling by her was an indicator.
got a message from her over the weekend asking about my day, then her telling me to have a good day yesterday. I decided to hit her up and ask her out Friday night. the response I got was just "could do"
not a yes, so must be a no?

advice on how to proceed please

personally don't think "could do" deserves a response
and asking for a proper answer is needy, why would i keep my friday free for a 'possibility'

cheers in advance

Ask her out again with a specific time and place but in a cool way. If she keeps being unsure than switch on other plates.

 

[andreihaha]

"Could do" to me means yes.
"8 pm at your place? I'll bring some wine." - that's what I should do.

I don't live by rules like "80/20". It's not science. Sex is getting better, but if you wanna throw her for your ego, do it!

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Just say "cool, let's meet at xxx". There could be some things going on in her life you don't know about or there could be another guy in the picture. Regardless go for what you want.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Some tough love for you Newbie:

OP, you're in the fast lane of the high speed highway on your way to f*ucking yourself over on this. The girl had sex with you 3x on 3 dates. What does that tell you?

"could do" = YES. Maybe she was driving or running or just isn't a verbose texter. Do you really need her to write you a John Grisham-length text message to convey interest? Good luck with that. Don't be a putz.

Most of the problem is yours for being so lame in how you asked her out. You're a man (I assume) so make the f*ucking PLAN. "Hey Susie, I'm free on Friday night. Let's meet up at the Corner Bar at 7:00 for drinks and laughs. Raw oyster eating contest to ensue. Loser buys. Ciao, Dash" THAT's how you ask out a woman.

Only 4 outcomes:
1) No reply = NO DATE and you don't ask her out again
2) Reply is Yes so you tell her great see you then
3) She says NO with a counter offer day/time
4) NO with no counter offer in which case you go silent until she reaches out again as you NEVER CHASE

If things don't work out, you move on without getting your panties in a bind.

Got it?

Good luck.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Dash said it wonderfully.

I would add, how far apart are you spacing your dates? Quick observations:

- Your first date was way too long. Leave it to just the hike. First dates should never be longer than 2 hours unless y’all met at a party and it’s a one night stand

- you guys have had sex three times in three dates. Contrary to popular belief, this is too much too soon.

-After you have sex with a woman, wait 5-9 days to call her. You want her reaching out to you. Let that hamster wheel spin a bit.

You’re coming off as eager beaver OP. Dates are too long and she probably knows everything about you already. You’re not mysterious or challenging.

Think guys, what does a woman value more? The guy that she figured out in 3 dates, or the guy that spoon fed himself over a lifetime? Breadcrumbs...

 

[dude99]

hi,
met a girl on tinder, first date was a hike, after which we went to a bar, then back to hers, for drinks and I found it easy to get along with her and escalted- we had sex.
I set up 2 more meet ups which both resulted in sex at her place, so basically saw her 3 times in 3 weeks staying at her place. the sex got better each time, was not limited to the bedroom.

Messaging was very low- kept it short and simple- mainly for organising the dates, but also a few responses to her asking about my day etc, but not much. She did ask for my snapchat , to which i said nah we can just keep using this(messanger)

a few things: she told me about the last guy she saw, how he is basically a stalker who is crazy in love with her, sends her massive texts, handwritten letters, rings her, drives past her house, leaves gifts at the door. I just laughed at this, but also suggested a restraining order. she seemed quite freaked out by it but also found it funny. and she told me about her ex who she had a long distance relationship with, but would never want sex when they met.

So anyway, I had a crazy busy week at work so, asked her on a date the night before, to which i got: "I'm away in _____ tomorrow"
no response back from me, knew i left it pretty late to ask so got on with my weekend. But the lack on rescheduling by her was an indicator.
got a message from her over the weekend asking about my day, then her telling me to have a good day yesterday. I decided to hit her up and ask her out Friday night. the response I got was just "could do"
not a yes, so must be a no?

advice on how to proceed please

personally don't think "could do" deserves a response
and asking for a proper answer is needy, why would i keep my friday free for a 'possibility'

cheers in advance

"Could do." Is not a yes. Rule number 1. Anything but a confirmed yes or plans made is a no. Could do is setting up the flake. Could do is no better than maybe/ill have to see/let me get back to you/ill have to check my schedule.

Next day reply "sorry Friday is out. Got plans. Ill hit you up when i have some time."

 

[metro_soldier91]

cheers for the responses, hard to know which advice to take, but yes, i must be more specific with setting up dates and in a better way.
would feel needy to re-ask for this Friday with specifics
so I'm leaning towards saying Friday is out etc
if she dosent contact me I'll know low interest

 

[EyeBRollin]

cheers for the responses, hard to know which advice to take, but yes, i must be more specific with setting up dates and in a better way.
would feel needy to re-ask for this Friday with specifics
so I'm leaning towards saying Friday is out etc
if she dosent contact me I'll know low interest

Call her up on the phone and ask her out for a specific time and place on Friday, Don’t sit there and wait for a text that will never come. Your mistake here because you didn’t ask for a clear answer.

If she doesn’t answer the phone, do not contact her again. wait for her to call back. If she doesn’t call back before Friday throw the number away.

 

[metro_soldier91]

Dash said it wonderfully.

I would add, how far apart are you spacing your dates? Quick observations:

- Your first date was way too long. Leave it to just the hike. First dates should never be longer than 2 hours unless y’all met at a party and it’s a one night stand

- you guys have had sex three times in three dates. Contrary to popular belief, this is too much too soon.

-After you have sex with a woman, wait 5-9 days to call her. You want her reaching out to you. Let that hamster wheel spin a bit.

You’re coming off as eager beaver OP. Dates are too long and she probably knows everything about you already. You’re not mysterious or challenging.

Think guys, what does a woman value more? The guy that she figured out in 3 dates, or the guy that spoon fed himself over a lifetime? Breadcrumbs...

meetings were about 1 week apart
know some good ways to cut a date short? i never stayed long the next day, but she did make me breakfast once

 

[Murk]

meetings were about 1 week apart
know some good ways to cut a date short? i never stayed long the next day, but she did make me breakfast once

It's not necessarily true your long first dates were a bad thing. I've previously stayed until the next evening or even day, lots of sex and fun.

That's how a few of my ltr's have started. As well as flings.

Stop asking her.
You had sex with her 3 times already. By #4 you better be dam near 80/20 her initiating and trying to get with you or this means your not memorable enough.
If not NEXT

Definitely this, time to move to the next.

 

[EyeBRollin]

meetings were about 1 week apart
know some good ways to cut a date short? i never stayed long the next day, but she did make me breakfast once

“I have to be someplace else.”

Then get out of there.

Your frequency of once a week is okay. But I still advise against early dates being that long, especially if you want to keep her interest long term. This story is classic example of burnout. They get bored.

 

[Glassguy]

OP- pvssy never goes cold. It's just went cold for you.

Set the date and she is either in or out. If she cant make it and doesnt counter offer, bounce.

Never chase. ....move on.