"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

Affirmations!

Gubby

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 13, 2005
Messages
601
Reaction score
18
Age
36
Location
Spain
I'll keep this quick.

Affirmations are important!

Everyone talks to himself in his head. So in a way we already do this. The problem is that most people say negative things: "I suck". "I can't". "It's impossible". "I don't have any control over this". They're usually self-fulfilling prophecies: FOR AS YOU THINK, YOU SHALL BECOME!

Look at your thoughts as tools to get what you want. They're not "truth". Anything can be truth. So you can change your thoughts. Observe them and decide the effect your thoughts have on you, and which ones to change.

Hypnosis isn't so special, you do it all the time by TALKING TO YOURSELF. Every thought you have is instructions to your unconscious on how to be and how to feel.

Have phrases to recite mentally to counter other self-talk that has become ingrained. For instance: "It's impossible" is countered by "nothing is impossible". (At least, we don't know everything so how can we know what's possible without doing it?:D)

I came up with this affirmation for when I feel bad about myself, bad about someone else, superior or inferior: "everyone is equal".

One thing: don't use negatives. If you say "don't be scared" your unconscious mind picks up on the word scared and makes you scared. You have to focus on what it would be like if you DIDN'T have the emotion: i.e. you'd think about how you should prepare, for instance. Or a feeling of confidence. If that doesn't work, make up a word which means "the opposite or lack of the unwanted thing". So instead of "don't be scared", say "be real". "Real" in this case is your name for the unscared state.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

avrilishot

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jul 16, 2005
Messages
236
Reaction score
0
Age
39
Thats good I believe you, you shouldnt think negative pretty good.
 

qlo

Don Juan
Joined
May 7, 2006
Messages
14
Reaction score
0
Gubby said:
For instance: "It's impossible" is countered by "nothing is impossible".

One thing: don't use negatives. If you say "don't be scared" your unconscious mind picks up on the word scared and makes you scared.
and then in the first place your mind picks up the word impossible ... etc.
btw this tip was way too obvious imo :p
 

Gubby

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 13, 2005
Messages
601
Reaction score
18
Age
36
Location
Spain
qlo said:
and then in the first place your mind picks up the word impossible ... etc.
btw this tip was way too obvious imo :p
Yeah but people still go on having self-defeating thoughts! What's up with that?
 

Migel

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 22, 2006
Messages
101
Reaction score
1
Replace "nothing is impossible" with "I can do anything".
Your mind doesn't know the difference between "impossible" and negating "impossible", when you say that word you'll start thinking about impossibilities.
So to make this short: better use positive language instead of negating like instead of "I'm not shy" go with "I am courageous".
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Gubby

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 13, 2005
Messages
601
Reaction score
18
Age
36
Location
Spain
Migel said:
Replace "nothing is impossible" with "I can do anything".
Your mind doesn't know the difference between "impossible" and negating "impossible", when you say that word you'll start thinking about impossibilities.
So to make this short: better use positive language instead of negating like instead of "I'm not shy" go with "I am courageous".
Yeah, I know, but this isn't meant to be a subconscious command, when you say "it's impossible" that's the rational mind speaking so saying "nothing is impossible" is like saying "fu'ck that."
 
Top