Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
I really dont believe that she is. She really wants to have sex, but has her very particular, semi-secret reasons for withholding. We all know that women will withhold sex when they have high interest in developing an LTR. Easy to understand. But she does not want an LTR with me, because I dont want kids and she does. SHe claims to be withholding because she likes to fantasize about the guy for a while, and get so worked up that she has to have him. This is great, but I feel she can fantasize and wait it out while I do something else - fvck other girls for example, rather than get frustrated from spending time making out with her etc. but not getting any further.The Bat said:Is she just a ****-tease?
Can't win 'em all. Move on, brother.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
This is a good question and why I love Anti Dump's machine so much.Vendetta081789 said:You know. The problem I have always faced when next'ing a woman to win her is this:
When you win her back. What's to stop her from getting bored again? Do you really plan on playing cat and mouse for the rest of your life? No you don't. If she is playing games, and you are looking for a LTR, then this is not the approach for you.
This is how I have mostly operated. This girl is interested in me for who I am. But it is more complicated than that. That's why I was planning on giving it a rest.KontrollerX said:It basically nexts all the women not interested in you for you and your unique qualities and keeps those women who love you the way you are.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
That woman could stand to be taken down a notch or two!! If any girl said that to me, chances are I'd just get p*ssed and leave :trouble:. And she got away with saying all that other stuff too? That girl is a man-trap!!Dongfu said:"Aw, he's frustrated." She said this after I attempted to slightly escalate kino one night, and she shut me down. Can you believe that?
Good post. I agree completely. But just to clarify, the "break" would have been a non-emotional break. Not because I am over whelmed with emotion but just to deprive her of my company for a little while. I would still have seen her on occasion, but definitely without any physical stuff. I already did that for a couple days. Now that I am injured she IS stepping up - bringing me food and movies.BuckwildNYC said:Maybe it's just me but I dont think guys need "breaks". That really sounds like such a chick thing to say. Like you are sooo overwhelmed with emotion that u need to take a step back. I say just play it cool man. Freeze her out. Hang out with her but dont be all over her. Sorry to hear u are injured but this is a great opputunity. Let her step up to the plate. See how much she'll do for you. If she'll cook and clean and take care of you then what the hell would you need with a break?
She WILL come around, but the question is when? It could take months. I am juggling a couple others now, but I am still more interested in this one. Anyway thanks for the solid advice.BuckwildNYC said:Maybe she's not into casual sex.....alot of chicks think that giving a guy sex is like giving him her heart and soul. Just play it cool and she will come around. In the mean time juggle a couple chicks so u aren't only relying on her for sex. And if she never comes around then nothing gained nothing lost.
I was intentionally making an effort to not reveal frustration. She must have caught the slightest glimpse, and that was all she needed to reaffirm her position of control.mikeyb said:If any girl said that to me, chances are I'd just get p*ssed and leave :trouble:.
Thats my feeling, and the only reason I have hung in there. I usually have no interest in a GF, but she has all the qualifications to be a great one. Once I nail her, she will have no more power over me. That's just the natural order of things.mikeyb said:she'd probably make the ideal girlfriend.
Bro this is exactly how it is. Im just trying real hard not to **** it up if you know what i mean. I have spent so long being a guy who picks up a lot of women and now I dont know what to do with a relationship????Dongfu said:It has been quite a while since I have felt frustrated or average with women. Recently however, I have met my match. The female in question is extra ordinary. Aside from being extremely beautiful, she cooks amazing food, massages me all the time, buys me stuff, takes me places, is never *****y, never clingy, never puts any expectations on me, and on and on. She has almost every quality I look for in a woman.
Me neither. I have been pro-friends with benefits for a few years now. I intentionally avoid GF's, but now it suddenly I've met a GF worthy girl. More irony in my life.osu13 said:I have spent so long being a guy who picks up a lot of women and now I dont know what to do with a relationship????
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Great realization.DonGorgon said:The saddest p[art is that our inner AFC is prone to come out when we meat a woman that we really genuinely like .... it is instinctive to want to do nice stuff for her etc... so best bet is to go after girls you dont like that much...LOL