Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Advice

DonJuanjr

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2021
Messages
58
Reaction score
30
Age
33
Hi all, I am new to the site(obviously lol). A little about me... I found this site a couple weeks ago. I am 33. I was red pilled 2 months ago. I went through the five stages of grief and an identity crisis as a result of it. Now I just want to pump and dump some slvts. Maybe keep some around as plates.

I was a volcel for 12 years. A decision that was not based on black pill ideals, but one that I highly regret. I have a notch count of 2. Which are 12 years apart. One before celibacy and one after. The second female was 2.5 months ago. I was a one night stand for her. I feel I have the experience of an 18 year old.

I am powering through approach anxiety so I can develop game. In a little under 2 months, I have approached 19 females, got 18 rejections and 1 date which ended in a rejection after the fact. One reason for my anxiety when talking to females is, I know at some point I will be trying to escalate with them. I get anxiety knowing that they will probably be able to tell that I don't have much experience while making out and by clumsy/reluctant escalation behavior. Due to me not being able to pick up on less than obvious signals. Which will be a turnoff for them and shut down any possibility of sex. I want to know what you djs thinks of my situation. Or what advice you may have.
 

lost_blackbird

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 27, 2020
Messages
129
Reaction score
128
Location
South West UK
I find it admirable that you can still be bothered with them. I am polite and friendly with the girls at work
and find a few of them physically appealing but not enough for me to approach them. I don't care if I don't
have sex at all or ever again. I just can't get that excited by it and I'm terrible at it when I do have it to be honest.
I can't wait for it to be over so I can get dressed (not that I ever had sex or slept fully naked with my wife)
and get on with something, anything else. Before meeting my wife I was myself celibate for a 7 year span between
ages 21 and 28. In that time I had a short fling with a girl who I knew from years before which became physical
but never culminated in sex, she did point blank ask me to fvck her the last time I saw her in person but I turned her
down as I went there to say goodbye to her shortly after picking up with the girl I'd spend the next 18 years with.
 

Hank Moody

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 18, 2021
Messages
976
Reaction score
1,043
@DonJuanjr Welcome to the forum. Watch this video about overcoming approach anxiety, starting at 7:25. This is a good starting point.

 

DonJuanjr

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2021
Messages
58
Reaction score
30
Age
33
@lost_blackbird Now that I've had a taste again, I have an insatiable need to make up for the last 12 years. Up until I had a taste again, I couldn't be bothered. It wasn't an issue. Which is how I lasted so long. Time to make up for lost time.

@Hank Moody Lol I get your point. But I don't think I've been cowering with the last 19 approaches. I am putting the work in. Albeit I need to up it to 3 approaches a day. Which is hard in my small population town. I got 2 approaches for today. Hopefully 3 tomorrow. My problem is the anxiety that comes with the thought of when it comes time for escalation, will my obvious lack of experience for my age, and clumsiness be an issue for most women? I would think that it would be even worse for the 18-27 age range I am shooting for, since they are expecting me to be more experienced than them.
 

image

"If you love women, you must read the SoSuave Guide to Women. It's fantastic!"

DEEZEDBRAH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 24, 2017
Messages
4,515
Reaction score
3,417
Age
30
Hi all, I am new to the site(obviously lol). A little about me... I found this site a couple weeks ago. I am 33. I was red pilled 2 months ago. I went through the five stages of grief and an identity crisis as a result of it. Now I just want to pump and dump some slvts. Maybe keep some around as plates.

I was a volcel for 12 years. A decision that was not based on black pill ideals, but one that I highly regret. I have a notch count of 2. Which are 12 years apart. One before celibacy and one after. The second female was 2.5 months ago. I was a one night stand for her. I feel I have the experience of an 18 year old.

I am powering through approach anxiety so I can develop game. In a little under 2 months, I have approached 19 females, got 18 rejections and 1 date which ended in a rejection after the fact. One reason for my anxiety when talking to females is, I know at some point I will be trying to escalate with them. I get anxiety knowing that they will probably be able to tell that I don't have much experience while making out and by clumsy/reluctant escalation behavior. Due to me not being able to pick up on less than obvious signals. Which will be a turnoff for them and shut down any possibility of sex. I want to know what you djs thinks of my situation. Or what advice you may have.
Red pill is phaggotry mostly. Theoretical geeks all secretly married. Chest beating and pedaling books. Ams troy Tate Bros otherwise I see trash but I digress.

Respect. 1/19 isnt spectacular but you are infielf. Contrary to the marriage dating cucks on YouTube, game is a series of taking Ls. Then a W. you think you hacked the game and a series of more rejections. The game changed the past year never mind 3 decades ago. The biggest problem with the crap today is the lack of authenticity. No receipts. But some goof has a program. A decade ago IOIS or choosing signals were layups. Girls ghost and drop off after pulling in 2021. Its a diff world. you are beyond AA. you are ahead of 99% of modern men. SRS.

CALIBRATE after the fact. Shoot your shot. cultivate Being that Guy. I'm in the ****ing trenches bud. anybody saying that it's easy or pandemic hasn't changed the game, is talking ****. Lockdown 1 in London girls were pretty much baricaded indoors UNLESS STUPID HIGH INTEREST. I have a few going strong since before pandemic. A few new prospects leads. several girls that dropped off. rotations eroded and new ones begin. Welcome to the game.

Meditate. I trip balls. I explore consciousness. Do something to disassociate from the endless bs of the game. More accurately get your money right. Start your biz. Have a life that supersedes female logic. A decade + of pickup isn't without consequences. Don't do this. Approach a handful times a day till dead or D falls off. Grow numb to rejection and stack. Get to the point, after pulling, going balls deep, you are opening sets on your walk back to the car. Test compliance. Check old school Mystery method for framework. Not routine. not magic.

Pull or next. comply or bye. learn push pull. likely you are too much pull. not enough push. learn to be a ****. be SAVAGE with your time. zero tolerance for flakes. become a mercenary in game. turn on the charm. drop her the invite. bait her. if she holds any ambiguity kick to the curb. #nextset

No matter how hawt she's a broken condom or donut away from expired. hotter girls turning 18 everyday.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 24, 2017
Messages
4,515
Reaction score
3,417
Age
30
I am trying to get to a point where @DEEZEDBRAH is at. Tell them to comply or gtfo.
I instruct. Tell her what you are doing. Where when followed by WHAT SHE SHOULD DO.

game is simply sourcing those who are compliant. that's it. It's all volume.

If a girl flakes or ghosts she's on my block list. A 16 wheeler could run her ass down. too busy hitting on hotter younger girls and going balls deep to attend funeral. zero ****s given.

If not compliant she's dead to me. Prerequisite is feminine submissive &&&& YOUNG or do not want. 90% do not fit (lulz) the parameters but my D won't suck itself.
 

DonJuanjr

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2021
Messages
58
Reaction score
30
Age
33
CALIBRATE after the fact. Shoot your shot. cultivate Being that Guy.

Pull or next. comply or bye. learn push pull. likely you are too much pull. not enough push. learn to be a ****.
I noticed when I am in the no fvcks given mood, and c0cky, I am seeing better results even if they are rejections. My first rejection was of a married woman who I tried getting her number. She lifted her hand to show her ring. I said something in the mean time. She said something. I then looked at her and said "I bet if he wasn't in the picture, you would have said yes". Then smoothly looked away. She started eye ******* me instantly. I suppose I missed an opportunity there. This showed me that hypergamy is true.

Another c0cky moment came a month ago when I was at the bar, and went up to a 22 year old and introduced myself. She replied that she had a boyfriend. I said "ahh that's too bad", she replied "yeah" I then said "no, I mean too bad for you!" in the most c0cky tone. Then walked away. She never gave me her name. I see her a few days ago at the same bar, and she remembered my name from a month ago. Was with her bf, but gave me her name this time. That's when I realized when guys say you need to make a female feel something when talking to you whether positive or negative, that it's better than no emotion, is true. While she is a rejection for the moment, she may be a work in progress.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 24, 2017
Messages
4,515
Reaction score
3,417
Age
30
I noticed when I am in the no fvcks given mood, and c0cky, I am seeing better results even if they are rejections. My first rejection was of a married woman who I tried getting her number. She lifted her hand to show her ring. I said something in the mean time. She said something. I then looked at her and said "I bet if he wasn't in the picture, you would have said yes". Then smoothly looked away. She started eye ******* me instantly. I suppose I missed an opportunity there. This showed me that hypergamy is true.

Another c0cky moment came a month ago when I was at the bar, and went up to a 22 year old and introduced myself. She replied that she had a boyfriend. I said "ahh that's too bad", she replied "yeah" I then said "no, I mean too bad for you!" in the most c0cky tone. Then walked away. She never gave me her name. I see her a few days ago at the same bar, and she remembered my name from a month ago. Was with her bf, but gave me her name this time. That's when I realized when guys say you need to make a female feel something when talking to you whether positive or negative, that it's better than no emotion, is true. While she is a rejection for the moment, she may be a work in progress.
Kick dumpty off her pedestal. Not literally. More push. Abrupt. cannon ball in set. Less 007. More kicking in doors and shooting from the hip.

I highly recommend you work flash game. less slow playing. Balls to the wall. Blow Mr or blow me out.

A single day or night put until you pull will put hair on your chest. Take Ls. Come back stronger. Women take Ls and it's game over.
 

DonJuanjr

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2021
Messages
58
Reaction score
30
Age
33
The bar chick is definitely not on a pedestal. I didn't even realize that it was her when she was reminding me of it. She looked a little messed up by that. Like she was thinking "don't you remember hitting on me a month ago". I was only planning on trying to escalate if she approached me. Not that I care one way or another.

Since we're on the topic of the bar chick. I'll use her as an example. To try and understand your point. So an example of more push would be if the bar chick approached me again, instead of hitting on her again(even with c0cky demeanor and tone), which would be too much pull, be like "why are you talking to me, go back to your boyfriend" "Obviously you're not ready for a manfriend" which is more push. I think that I am totally off with this example. Can you elaborate? or possibly give an example and dialog of a successful pull you had? So I can better understand.

When you say flash game you mean back to back approaches at multiple places right. I would assume if it was at one location that I would cultivate a creepy/desperate pua persona.
 

DonJuanjr

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2021
Messages
58
Reaction score
30
Age
33
My problem is the anxiety that comes with the thought of when it comes time for escalation, will my obvious lack of experience for my age, and clumsiness be an issue for most women? I would think that it would be even worse for the 18-27 age range I am shooting for, since they are expecting me to be more experienced than them.
Do you fellas think this is a non issue, and I am being too insecure in this regard?
 

DonJuanjr

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2021
Messages
58
Reaction score
30
Age
33
The lack of responses regarding my issue is concerning. It makes me think this is going to be a major issue for females, and no one wants to be the bearer of bad news.
 

B80

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 18, 2017
Messages
274
Reaction score
217
Don't usually advocate escorts, buy could help eradicate anxiety around sex and worrying about escalating. Could get you out of hole (and hopefully into one).

As long as you don't become reliant on them and see it as a tool to change your mindset.
 

DonJuanjr

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2021
Messages
58
Reaction score
30
Age
33
Thanks for the reply and advice. So you think it's more of a mental insecurity than an actual turn off for females? I'm not sure escorts would be too useful for this problem as I'll already know that they'll be ready and willing. I just need to know from guys that have way more experience with women as to what their mindset will be regarding the inexperience for my age. If it's not a problem/turn off for women, then the anxiety will go away. If you master DJs believe based on your experience with many women and their mindsets that it will be a problem or turnoff for women then I'll know to focus a few more points lower on the smv than what I would otherwise(i.e. fatties) in order to gain the necessary experience.
 

jimwho

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 18, 2020
Messages
218
Reaction score
252
Age
61
Your timing suks. While the world is still wearing useless masks you decide to blossom into a Super DJ. How about just for now, be around where there's lots of women. Side-Job/bingo/soup kitchen/gym/volunteer/classes. Talk to women and be charming. Build a better you and work off that for a while. Might surprise yourself.
 

image

Put away your credit card.

You can now read our detailed guide to women and dating for free - Right Here!

DonJuanjr

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2021
Messages
58
Reaction score
30
Age
33
Yeah the timing wasn't the best. Being red pilled wasn't a choice of mine, or something I was prepared for. Although I am glad that I seen the light as to female nature. Could have been worse like being saddled down in a toxic marriage or being used as a resource for some chick that had my kids and promptly leave to "find herself". Yeah super dj is the goal. Like other fellas on here. Is that not the one of the purposes of this site? Though I know I am far from it. Which is why i called myself dj jr.

So I have the need to pump and dump or spin plates as opposed to finding "the one". So with that, priorities change. Like only caring about getting sex and not getting shut down right before. I don't care if they view me as bad after the fact. If they ghost me, oh well. Another one turning 18 everyday.

I appreciate your constructive criticism but being around women in one of those suggestions of yours will not tell me if they'll put the brakes on at the last minute leading up to sex due to a changed perception of me being beta due to the clumsiness or lack of experience...Which will not relieve the anxiety.
 

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
3,939
Reaction score
4,144
I find it admirable that you can still be bothered with them. I am polite and friendly with the girls at work
and find a few of them physically appealing but not enough for me to approach them. I don't care if I don't
have sex at all or ever again. I just can't get that excited by it and I'm terrible at it when I do have it to be honest.
I can't wait for it to be over so I can get dressed (not that I ever had sex or slept fully naked with my wife)
and get on with something, anything else. Before meeting my wife I was myself celibate for a 7 year span between
ages 21 and 28. In that time I had a short fling with a girl who I knew from years before which became physical
but never culminated in sex, she did point blank ask me to fvck her the last time I saw her in person but I turned her
down as I went there to say goodbye to her shortly after picking up with the girl I'd spend the next 18 years with.
Umm...get your T levels checked
 

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
3,939
Reaction score
4,144
has DEEZEDBRAH hacked your account mate? :D
No but someone who is apathetic to sex is a classic case for low T. As far as being bad at it, well that's a choice. One the best things I ever did was to put the effort into being great at sex...keeps women coming back without doing much of anything.
 

Sir FB

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 27, 2021
Messages
46
Reaction score
47
Age
54
I appreciate your constructive criticism but being around women in one of those suggestions of yours will not tell me if they'll put the brakes on at the last minute leading up to sex due to a changed perception of me being beta due to the clumsiness or lack of experience...Which will not relieve the anxiety.
I was in my 50s and could not use my second hand to count women I had been intimate with. I had no idea how to date, what to do, what to say to them. I didn't understand why I was getting friendzoned. I didn't know how to look for signs of attraction. I had no idea of the nature of women, only that my last five years of trying to date women had been horribly ineffective at getting laid.

I started listening to audio books. The most helpful ones were "Dating Essentials for Men" by Robert Glover and "How to Be a 3% Man" by Corey Wayne. . Basically if I want to get the results others are getting, I have to be willing to do what they do. I began to follow the formulas in the books I was listening to, practiced them. and banged three different women in three months. If I can do it, anyone can do it. You can think about this all you want but the only way to the other side is through.
 
Top