chancer357
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 3, 2004
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the worst that can happen is that I fail, again, and then what is left? Theres no buffer of any self-esteem or confidence left to errode. So what happens when I fail this time?
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Fail, fail, fail and fail some more untill you obtain success.Originally posted by chancer357
the worst that can happen is that I fail, again, and then what is left? Theres no buffer of any self-esteem or confidence left to errode. So what happens when I fail this time?
NOTHING!Originally posted by chancer357
So what happens when I fail this time?
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Thats just the problem. There is no "up". There is no reason to think I could possible go "up" when I'm further down and worse off than ever before. I have absolutely no logic reason to expect to succeed or be able to change ever. And because I have nothing left I can't move.Originally posted by Jon E
NOTHING!
Chancer, you have nowhere to go but "up" from here. You've got nothing to loose and everything to gain.
Chancer stop making excuses...you need to practise for perfection...Originally posted by DjDreamer
How will you ever succeed at something if you don't try?
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Man o' man...that is gold...Originally posted by A-Unit
THE ONLY TIME ANY HUMAN BEING WILL DISPLAY INTEREST IN YOU, is WHEN YOU DISPLAY INTEREST IN YOURSELF FIRST.
That's it.
The best-looking guy on the planet could have women dropping at his feet, but if he's meak, if he wreaks of garbage, vomit, and cigarettes, if his clothes are tattered, no woman would pay heed to sleeping with him. To believe differently is to believe that Fairy Tales are TRUE stories.
THE DEGREE TO WHICH YOU ARE INTERESTED AND VALUE YOURSELF is the DEGREE TO WHICH OTHERS VALUE YOU.
Thus far you have displayed self-loathing, and the world will only give that back. But, if your rise up, claim ownership to your life and personal responsibility for your happiness instead of putting that on other's, then other's will value you.
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
you are not an alien, you are as human as anyone else on this board (well, unless there are some other "guys" reading it too) and if a recipe worked for millions, it will work for you as well. But you concsiously CHOOSE to believe that it is useless and to put the recipe back on shelf - and it becomes useless.Advice you might paraphrase as "Just-do-it", "Tough-love" or "You-just-like-to-be-miserable" is not only ignorant, its useless
Are you literate? Have you even tried to comprehend what I tried to explain?Originally posted by Roscoe
But you concsiously CHOOSE to believe that it is useless and to put the recipe back on shelf - and it becomes useless.
Go right on being envious then.Originally posted by Roscoe
In fact, there is a thing I truly envy you
Your numerous "explanations" is just another re-iteration of your "credo of faith". If you were born in a different time and/or environment, you could have become another MosesHave you even tried to comprehend what I tried to explain?
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.