chancer357
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 3, 2004
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the worst that can happen is that I fail, again, and then what is left? Theres no buffer of any self-esteem or confidence left to errode. So what happens when I fail this time?
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Fail, fail, fail and fail some more untill you obtain success.Originally posted by chancer357
the worst that can happen is that I fail, again, and then what is left? Theres no buffer of any self-esteem or confidence left to errode. So what happens when I fail this time?
NOTHING!Originally posted by chancer357
So what happens when I fail this time?
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Thats just the problem. There is no "up". There is no reason to think I could possible go "up" when I'm further down and worse off than ever before. I have absolutely no logic reason to expect to succeed or be able to change ever. And because I have nothing left I can't move.Originally posted by Jon E
NOTHING!
Chancer, you have nowhere to go but "up" from here. You've got nothing to loose and everything to gain.
Chancer stop making excuses...you need to practise for perfection...Originally posted by DjDreamer
How will you ever succeed at something if you don't try?
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Man o' man...that is gold...Originally posted by A-Unit
THE ONLY TIME ANY HUMAN BEING WILL DISPLAY INTEREST IN YOU, is WHEN YOU DISPLAY INTEREST IN YOURSELF FIRST.
That's it.
The best-looking guy on the planet could have women dropping at his feet, but if he's meak, if he wreaks of garbage, vomit, and cigarettes, if his clothes are tattered, no woman would pay heed to sleeping with him. To believe differently is to believe that Fairy Tales are TRUE stories.
THE DEGREE TO WHICH YOU ARE INTERESTED AND VALUE YOURSELF is the DEGREE TO WHICH OTHERS VALUE YOU.
Thus far you have displayed self-loathing, and the world will only give that back. But, if your rise up, claim ownership to your life and personal responsibility for your happiness instead of putting that on other's, then other's will value you.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
you are not an alien, you are as human as anyone else on this board (well, unless there are some other "guys" reading it too) and if a recipe worked for millions, it will work for you as well. But you concsiously CHOOSE to believe that it is useless and to put the recipe back on shelf - and it becomes useless.Advice you might paraphrase as "Just-do-it", "Tough-love" or "You-just-like-to-be-miserable" is not only ignorant, its useless
Are you literate? Have you even tried to comprehend what I tried to explain?Originally posted by Roscoe
But you concsiously CHOOSE to believe that it is useless and to put the recipe back on shelf - and it becomes useless.
Go right on being envious then.Originally posted by Roscoe
In fact, there is a thing I truly envy you
Your numerous "explanations" is just another re-iteration of your "credo of faith". If you were born in a different time and/or environment, you could have become another MosesHave you even tried to comprehend what I tried to explain?
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.