"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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advice please...

Jaun_Don

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A cute 21 year old is coming around to watch DVD's at my place tonight and I dig this girl,we have been to the movies and talk and text a lot...she is always saying let's do this and let's do that (good signs right?) I just need to know how to get her to stay the night because to be honest I'm kind of rusty at all this ****.

Any advice is greatly appreciated.
 
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"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Bible_Belt

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Build the anticipation. Like David D says - one step forward, two steps back. Work on all of her five senses. Touch her hair and smell her before you kiss her. Good luck.
 

phloyd

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You shouldn't worry about her staying the night. If it happens it happens. Just focus on having a good time. Have some drinks. Sit in close proximity and play with her hair. Go fo the kiss and some make out time if you feel like it. Just go with the flow. If shes coming over to watch movies she pretty much expects you to put some moves on her.

Good luck
 

Jaun_Don

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Originally posted by Bible_Belt
Build the anticipation. Like David D says - one step forward, two steps back. Work on all of her five senses. Touch her hair and smell her before you kiss her. Good luck.
awesome...thanks...
 

Jaun_Don

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well she came over and things were nice , we chatted,laughed lots and had some red wine, watched a DVD and there was lots of flirting and touching but when it came to the end of the night, it was kind of awkward and i went for the kiss subtly but only got the cheek and a nice hug.

I'm in the friends zone aren't I?.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Bible_Belt

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It looks like it.

You said that you and her, "talk and text a lot." That's probably not helping. Act busy, always end the interaction first, never call her when she expects, don't call much at all. IM sucks, btw, if she has you listed as a buddy and can see when you are on the net. Use IM sparingly, otherwise it destroys mystery.

To get out of the friend zone, you could play the jealousy card. Go on another date (really do it; don't just lie about it). Very casually mention it to the 21 y/o and watch for a response. Don't overdo it. Be very subtle.

Give it a couple of weeks, but if you are still in the friend zone, then it is time for her to start introducing you to her friends.
 

Jaun_Don

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Originally posted by Bible_Belt
It looks like it.

You said that you and her, "talk and text a lot." That's probably not helping. Act busy, always end the interaction first, never call her when she expects, don't call much at all. IM sucks, btw, if she has you listed as a buddy and can see when you are on the net. Use IM sparingly, otherwise it destroys mystery.

To get out of the friend zone, you could play the jealousy card. Go on another date (really do it; don't just lie about it). Very casually mention it to the 21 y/o and watch for a response. Don't overdo it. Be very subtle.

Give it a couple of weeks, but if you are still in the friend zone, then it is time for her to start introducing you to her friends.
I can't work her out, she has a boyfriend yet she is spending time with me alone...she flirts with me, yet when I went in for the kiss I got the cheek and it felt awkward, we can't just be friends can we?.

She obviously enjoys my company and calls me to make plans and it's not chat I use it's texting on a mobile phone.

Should I just move on?, and yeah the room mate met her and did a fake hello and then acted up in the kitchen laughing really hard at what the other room mate was saying...I found that quite sad it seemed to be an act.
 
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