"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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advice please...

Jaun_Don

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A cute 21 year old is coming around to watch DVD's at my place tonight and I dig this girl,we have been to the movies and talk and text a lot...she is always saying let's do this and let's do that (good signs right?) I just need to know how to get her to stay the night because to be honest I'm kind of rusty at all this ****.

Any advice is greatly appreciated.
 
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"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Bible_Belt

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Build the anticipation. Like David D says - one step forward, two steps back. Work on all of her five senses. Touch her hair and smell her before you kiss her. Good luck.
 

phloyd

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You shouldn't worry about her staying the night. If it happens it happens. Just focus on having a good time. Have some drinks. Sit in close proximity and play with her hair. Go fo the kiss and some make out time if you feel like it. Just go with the flow. If shes coming over to watch movies she pretty much expects you to put some moves on her.

Good luck
 

Jaun_Don

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Originally posted by Bible_Belt
Build the anticipation. Like David D says - one step forward, two steps back. Work on all of her five senses. Touch her hair and smell her before you kiss her. Good luck.
awesome...thanks...
 

Jaun_Don

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well she came over and things were nice , we chatted,laughed lots and had some red wine, watched a DVD and there was lots of flirting and touching but when it came to the end of the night, it was kind of awkward and i went for the kiss subtly but only got the cheek and a nice hug.

I'm in the friends zone aren't I?.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Bible_Belt

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It looks like it.

You said that you and her, "talk and text a lot." That's probably not helping. Act busy, always end the interaction first, never call her when she expects, don't call much at all. IM sucks, btw, if she has you listed as a buddy and can see when you are on the net. Use IM sparingly, otherwise it destroys mystery.

To get out of the friend zone, you could play the jealousy card. Go on another date (really do it; don't just lie about it). Very casually mention it to the 21 y/o and watch for a response. Don't overdo it. Be very subtle.

Give it a couple of weeks, but if you are still in the friend zone, then it is time for her to start introducing you to her friends.
 

Jaun_Don

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Originally posted by Bible_Belt
It looks like it.

You said that you and her, "talk and text a lot." That's probably not helping. Act busy, always end the interaction first, never call her when she expects, don't call much at all. IM sucks, btw, if she has you listed as a buddy and can see when you are on the net. Use IM sparingly, otherwise it destroys mystery.

To get out of the friend zone, you could play the jealousy card. Go on another date (really do it; don't just lie about it). Very casually mention it to the 21 y/o and watch for a response. Don't overdo it. Be very subtle.

Give it a couple of weeks, but if you are still in the friend zone, then it is time for her to start introducing you to her friends.
I can't work her out, she has a boyfriend yet she is spending time with me alone...she flirts with me, yet when I went in for the kiss I got the cheek and it felt awkward, we can't just be friends can we?.

She obviously enjoys my company and calls me to make plans and it's not chat I use it's texting on a mobile phone.

Should I just move on?, and yeah the room mate met her and did a fake hello and then acted up in the kitchen laughing really hard at what the other room mate was saying...I found that quite sad it seemed to be an act.
 
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