"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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advice please

Jeremymichael

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My friend has split up from his girlfriend of about 10 years. She wants to settle down, he doesn't. They are still on good terms.

Last friday was my birthday. She said that she had joined a band and I mentioned a good venue in my town. Now she has said she wants to go to that bar with me. Do you think this is okay/appropriate after splitting up from my friend?. I'm not sure how to play it as just friends or could this be a date?. I think in reality she might be just looking for new venues, however she seems to like me (she kept touching my knee on friday)

Also I hope her druggy brother does not come along. She is a professional but occasionally takes drugs and it kind of scares me/ puts me off. On the hand she is very lovely and charming.

What do you think?.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Jeremymichael

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yes I'm wondering whether I should invite him as well out of politeness?
 

Jeremymichael

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Unfortunately I have to reply to her email now about meeting up at the bar. Maybe I should go quiet and not reply?, or give her the details for her to decide whether to go on her own and just say I'll meet up for an hour or so for a chat?. I guess if she is just their to review the music (its open mic) then it can be less formal and it won't matter than I don't propose her staying over?. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything in the first place :-/
 

Jeremymichael

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hmmm...that could be good advice,but he may suggest coming along as well.
Could end up with a party of unwanted people?
 

Mavrick

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You need to talk to your friend about this. Don't go behind his back.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Jeremymichael

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good advice, maybe I'll do that..but I don't have space to put a load of people up at my flat.. Its only small one bedroom!
 

jophil28

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Mavrick said:
You need to talk to your friend about this. Don't go behind his back.
Look at it this way, how would you feel if you were him and he was in your position?

Would you be OK with him doing this with YOUR recent ex ?

"Do unto others ..." (especially if that 'other ' is your close friend )
 

ketostix

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There's a possibility that she might be trying to use you to make her BF jealous. I think you should tell him, and if he goes that's even better. He get to see with his own eyes if she's interested in you and won't ba as suspicious. I think since they broke up you could go to the event with her, but I'd take it slow with her and proceed with caution.
 
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