"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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advice please

Jeremymichael

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My friend has split up from his girlfriend of about 10 years. She wants to settle down, he doesn't. They are still on good terms.

Last friday was my birthday. She said that she had joined a band and I mentioned a good venue in my town. Now she has said she wants to go to that bar with me. Do you think this is okay/appropriate after splitting up from my friend?. I'm not sure how to play it as just friends or could this be a date?. I think in reality she might be just looking for new venues, however she seems to like me (she kept touching my knee on friday)

Also I hope her druggy brother does not come along. She is a professional but occasionally takes drugs and it kind of scares me/ puts me off. On the hand she is very lovely and charming.

What do you think?.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Jeremymichael

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yes I'm wondering whether I should invite him as well out of politeness?
 

Jeremymichael

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Unfortunately I have to reply to her email now about meeting up at the bar. Maybe I should go quiet and not reply?, or give her the details for her to decide whether to go on her own and just say I'll meet up for an hour or so for a chat?. I guess if she is just their to review the music (its open mic) then it can be less formal and it won't matter than I don't propose her staying over?. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything in the first place :-/
 

Jeremymichael

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hmmm...that could be good advice,but he may suggest coming along as well.
Could end up with a party of unwanted people?
 

Mavrick

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You need to talk to your friend about this. Don't go behind his back.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Jeremymichael

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good advice, maybe I'll do that..but I don't have space to put a load of people up at my flat.. Its only small one bedroom!
 

jophil28

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Mavrick said:
You need to talk to your friend about this. Don't go behind his back.
Look at it this way, how would you feel if you were him and he was in your position?

Would you be OK with him doing this with YOUR recent ex ?

"Do unto others ..." (especially if that 'other ' is your close friend )
 

ketostix

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There's a possibility that she might be trying to use you to make her BF jealous. I think you should tell him, and if he goes that's even better. He get to see with his own eyes if she's interested in you and won't ba as suspicious. I think since they broke up you could go to the event with her, but I'd take it slow with her and proceed with caution.
 
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