"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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advice column: ‘I’m in my 40s and like smart, attractive men, but that pool keeps getting smaller’

MatureDJ

Master Don Juan
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I’m a 49-year-old woman who seems to have learned nothing about how to have a relationship that works. I’m single and have no children.
I've always had men along the way, but just brief relationships. Men find me attractive, but as I get older there are fewer opportunities which I find sad. I constantly go for the emotionally unavailable men. I like smart, attractive men and they like me, but that pool keeps getting smaller ... For the last 10 years I’ve had short dating episodes with a local man who is divorced ... There is a really huge sexual draw with us and it never changes. He draws me in and we sleep together or date a bit. I look for more time and he gets overwhelmed and he runs.
My opinion: Men find you barely attractive enough to be FWB, and your line about "emotionally unavailable men" is delusional. :rolleyes:
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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OldComeBacker

Don Juan
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I couldn't even imagine banging a 49 year-old woman as a FWB. I question the level of this guy's attractiveness. Or maybe she is just exceptional for her age and just barely clears the bar for a quick NSA bang.
 

bat soup

Master Don Juan
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"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

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