You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
I think the "secret" is to act interested without caring. Its ok tooneboy21 said:If i act dis-interested in a girl, will that be any help.
Like throwing some negs and acting totally dis-interested. the girl i am about to meet has Low IL.
what would be the best way to deal with this.
yes. Yes. YES!st_99 said:I think the "secret" is to act interested without caring. Its ok to
let a girl know you're interested, but you GENUINELY can't care about any
reaction from her.
You can't pretend to not care, you really cant care.
Easy to say, hard to pull off, but its the holy grail.
Good advice! Learn how to not care whether a single woman likes you or not. There will be others out there, right?st_99 said:I think the "secret" is to act interested without caring. Its ok to
let a girl know you're interested, but you GENUINELY can't care about any
reaction from her.
You can't pretend to not care, you really cant care.
Easy to say, hard to pull off, but its the holy grail.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Yeah, that's exactly true! What I've learned is that how you handle your own feelings and react with them can really influence your attractiveness and success as a man. I'm not saying it's not hard to do.maverick72 said:But here is the catch. You cannot turn your feelings on and off for a girl. You either have feelings for a girl or you don't. I try to avoid the "caring feelings" as much as I can, but sometimes it gets the best of me. Other times, it feels great to go out with a hot girl knowing I could care less if I see this girl again because it puts me in the drivers seat. That is when I get laid the most.