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Accepting BS - where to draw the line

Zone6Based

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Hey guys,

Was a member years ago. This site combined with real world practice has made me 1000x better with women with dating. I'm at the point where getting a date and closing that date into either a one night stand, casual sex or whatever I'm looking for at the given time is literally no issue.

Still, I am on the constant journey for improvement because I believe this is a skill like many others where the learning never stops.

Would like some input on a situation that just happened today.

A co worker gave me a single friends Facebook and told me to add her cause she thought I was cute. I added her and after some banter, got her number.

I messaged her about grabbing a drink during the week on Sunday. She replies a full day later on Monday saying she'd be down. I message her before going to sleep Monday night where she lives so I can pick her up Wednesday after work.

No reply

...Until Wednesday evening. She asks if we're still on having ignored my earlier question completely. I told her she didn't answer me so I made other plans (I'm playing catch at work after a week in Mexico so I had decided that was going to be my evening when I didnt hear from her all of Tuesday) to which she replied "Wow are you kidding me?"

To me, this shows no regard for my time and is an indicator of a lot of upcoming garbage behavior. One of the biggest lessons thats saved me a lot of time since I started applying it and allowed me to usually have sex with whoever I end up meeting is that girls who are ACTUALLY into meeting someone don't pull this nonsense and therefore, disregard the ones who do.

This is the latest incident of around 4 - 5 similar situations that have happened over the last couple months so the question is....

Am I passing up on opportunities by being too rigid or should I keep this no BS approach going?

Appreciate input
 

sazc

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did she counter?

My initial thought was "naw, F that, her handling of the situation was disrespectful. You didnt hear from her, you made other plans, totally acceptable, you are an in demand dude and she needs to know that"

a date is a gift. that was rude. you dont need rude chicks in your life.
 

Zone6Based

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Your assessment is correct. A date is not your gift; it's hers. If she can't operate or communicate in a respectful manner, she loses you instantly.
It's true and I know it is....every girl whose ever pulled this kind of crap, no matter how seemingly of a "small deal" it was was either really not worth dealing or someone looking for attention that never materialized to anything anyway.

did she counter?

My initial thought was "naw, F that, her handling of the situation was disrespectful. You didnt hear from her, you made other plans, totally acceptable, you are an in demand dude and she needs to know that"

a date is a gift. that was rude. you dont need rude chicks in your life.
I mean. You ask her out for a drinks. You set a date. You offer to pick her up. You ask ONE question so you can actually figure out a suitable spot.. And you get silence until a couple hours before you're supposed to meet? She's not putting any thought into a 3 second text to answer my question, why am I putting thought into a night out?

Thanks for the feedback guys, needed to hear that
 

El Payaso

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I didn't.

She messaged me 10 minutes ago saying "Oh it looks like you replaced me quickly, I'm heartbroken"

Inconsiderate + I can now add childish to the list. Dodged a bullet
Female hamster hard at work. Now she's trying to play the blame game.
 

Trump

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I'm at the point where getting a date and closing that date into either a one night stand, casual sex or whatever I'm looking for at the given time is literally no issue.

A co worker gave me a single friends Facebook and told me to add her cause she thought I was cute. I added her and after some banter, got her number.
I wouldn't have. Men shouldn't do things on 3rd party hearsay. Plus the girl now thinks she can manipulate you. "He adds me just because I thought he was cute on a certain day? What if I gave him a kiss? He would give me half the world!"

I messaged her about grabbing a drink during the week on Sunday. She replies a full day later on Monday saying she'd be down. I message her before going to sleep Monday night where she lives so I can pick her up Wednesday after work.
She replies a full day later Monday. You reply a full 1 hours later the same day. Brutal bro.

No reply

...Until Wednesday evening. She asks if we're still on having ignored my earlier question completely. I told her she didn't answer me so I made other plans (I'm playing catch at work after a week in Mexico so I had decided that was going to be my evening when I didnt hear from her all of Tuesday) to which she replied "Wow are you kidding me?"

To me, this shows no regard for my time and is an indicator of a lot of upcoming garbage behavior. One of the biggest lessons thats saved me a lot of time since I started applying it and allowed me to usually have sex with whoever I end up meeting is that girls who are ACTUALLY into meeting someone don't pull this nonsense and therefore, disregard the ones who do.

This is the latest incident of around 4 - 5 similar situations that have happened over the last couple months so the question is....

Am I passing up on opportunities by being too rigid or should I keep this no BS approach going?

Appreciate input
Obviously you think you are too rigid otherwise you wouldn't have asked the question and made an entire thread about it.

Come on bro, you say you can get a one night stand with hot girl in 18 minutes if you want, yet are confused about this simple situation? If she doesn't reply all you say is "Are we still on for Wednesday?" How hard is that? You guys make this stuff like PhD work. Brutal. o_O
 

logicallefty

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"Are you kidding me?" translation: "Im the one who is supposed to be in control here, not you, and i dont like that!!"
 

Desdinova

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You're doing well.

The problem with the way you got this chick's contact info is you have virtually no rapport with her. The best thing you could've done is asked your co-worker to bring her out for drinks one night so you could actually meet her in person. That way you can build rapport and be in a better position to have a successful first date.

She messaged me 10 minutes ago saying "Oh it looks like you replaced me quickly, I'm heartbroken"
I'm reading this as sarcasm. Don't respond.
 

Bingo-Player

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Hey guys,

Was a member years ago. This site combined with real world practice has made me 1000x better with women with dating. I'm at the point where getting a date and closing that date into either a one night stand, casual sex or whatever I'm looking for at the given time is literally no issue.

Still, I am on the constant journey for improvement because I believe this is a skill like many others where the learning never stops.

Would like some input on a situation that just happened today.

A co worker gave me a single friends Facebook and told me to add her cause she thought I was cute. I added her and after some banter, got her number.

I messaged her about grabbing a drink during the week on Sunday. She replies a full day later on Monday saying she'd be down. I message her before going to sleep Monday night where she lives so I can pick her up Wednesday after work.

No reply

...Until Wednesday evening. She asks if we're still on having ignored my earlier question completely. I told her she didn't answer me so I made other plans (I'm playing catch at work after a week in Mexico so I had decided that was going to be my evening when I didnt hear from her all of Tuesday) to which she replied "Wow are you kidding me?"

To me, this shows no regard for my time and is an indicator of a lot of upcoming garbage behavior. One of the biggest lessons thats saved me a lot of time since I started applying it and allowed me to usually have sex with whoever I end up meeting is that girls who are ACTUALLY into meeting someone don't pull this nonsense and therefore, disregard the ones who do.

This is the latest incident of around 4 - 5 similar situations that have happened over the last couple months so the question is....

Am I passing up on opportunities by being too rigid or should I keep this no BS approach going?

Appreciate input
keep the no BS approach going its the only tried and tested method I've found that actually works with women

alot of them belive that having a vagina gives them a get out of jail free card for poor behaviour or manners ( it isnt )

also remember give her an inch and she will take a mile
 

dude99

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Hey guys,

Was a member years ago. This site combined with real world practice has made me 1000x better with women with dating. I'm at the point where getting a date and closing that date into either a one night stand, casual sex or whatever I'm looking for at the given time is literally no issue.

Still, I am on the constant journey for improvement because I believe this is a skill like many others where the learning never stops.

Would like some input on a situation that just happened today.

A co worker gave me a single friends Facebook and told me to add her cause she thought I was cute. I added her and after some banter, got her number.

I messaged her about grabbing a drink during the week on Sunday. She replies a full day later on Monday saying she'd be down. I message her before going to sleep Monday night where she lives so I can pick her up Wednesday after work.

No reply

...Until Wednesday evening. She asks if we're still on having ignored my earlier question completely. I told her she didn't answer me so I made other plans (I'm playing catch at work after a week in Mexico so I had decided that was going to be my evening when I didnt hear from her all of Tuesday) to which she replied "Wow are you kidding me?"

To me, this shows no regard for my time and is an indicator of a lot of upcoming garbage behavior. One of the biggest lessons thats saved me a lot of time since I started applying it and allowed me to usually have sex with whoever I end up meeting is that girls who are ACTUALLY into meeting someone don't pull this nonsense and therefore, disregard the ones who do.

This is the latest incident of around 4 - 5 similar situations that have happened over the last couple months so the question is....

Am I passing up on opportunities by being too rigid or should I keep this no BS approach going?

Appreciate input
You handled this like a champ. If ALL guys did this it would force women to change.

No reguard for your time, then she gets offended because you made other plans. Her loss. Stay the course. You marched to the beat of your drum not hers.
 

sazc

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I've been laughing about this thread for a few daysdays. She thought she was in control, she thought she was alpha, and you popped her balloon in a big way. She deserved it. She was rude as ****. Lol, good job :)
 

Glassguy

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Well done OP.

Truth of the matter is she probably had something else lined up for the same evening. You could have been the backup plan. Things went south with the other planning, so she ran back to see if you were still going to treat her to a free drink or meal.

You shouldnt put up with this garbage and you didnt put up with this garbage. I probably would have went on to say:

Her: Are you kidding me?
Me: No. Havent heard from you for 3 days. I felt a bad vibe and took up another offer. Take care hun.

The only reason I would say that is to let her know that I didnt sit around at home even thinking of her actions. It lets her know that you are a busy person, your time is valuable and it leaves it semi open for her to still come back and counter offer.

Tell your friend he couldnt pick a super model out of a trailer park lineup.
 

Glassguy

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This is also why I intentionally flake once early on if I think the chick has a total b!tch side to her.

By putting your foot down early on (or flaking), you will see them for who they really are before you invest much at all. The ultimate **** test.

Funny story from last weekend with a plate:

Her: I really want to see you tonight. When are you coming over?
Me: I have a few things to do and then I will head your way
Her: Ok, try to hurry because I have to get up early for work
Her: (1 hour later) Are you coming or not? I would have made other plans if I knew it was going to take all night for you to get here. You already know I have to get up at 5am for work.
Her again 2 minutes later: ???. I just need to know if you are coming so I will know to unlock the door or not. You're very frustrating. I dont know why it takes you 10-15 minutes to respond to my text. Let me know if you are coming, if not I am going to make other plans.
Me: Leave your door locked. I just turned around and I'm headed back home.
Her: Are you fvcking serious?
Me: yes.
Her: But I really wanted to see you tonight
Me: Then you should have acted like it. I left to come over as soon as I could. That should have been enough. Maybe we will try this again another time.

She then went on to apologize for 2 days.

Dont put up with their sh!t for a second or you will be putting up with her for as long as you are around her.
 

El Payaso

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Glasguy said

"Funny story from last weekend with a plate:

Her: I really want to see you tonight. When are you coming over?
Me: I have a few things to do and then I will head your way
Her: Ok, try to hurry because I have to get up early for work
Her: (1 hour later) Are you coming or not? I would have made other plans if I knew it was going to take all night for you to get here. You already know I have to get up at 5am for work.
Her again 2 minutes later: ???. I just need to know if you are coming so I will know to unlock the door or not. You're very frustrating. I dont know why it takes you 10-15 minutes to respond to my text. Let me know if you are coming, if not I am going to make other plans.
Me: Leave your door locked. I just turned around and I'm headed back home.
Her: Are you fvcking serious?
Me: yes.
Her: But I really wanted to see you tonight
Me: Then you should have acted like it. I left to come over as soon as I could. That should have been enough. Maybe we will try this again another time.

She then went on to apologize for 2 days.

Dont put up with their sh!t for a second or you will be putting up with her for as long as you are around her."


Guys pay attention - this is EXACTLY how to command the respect your time deserves.
Simple short, direct. Perfect..
Handled it like a champ.
 

ImTheDoubleGreatest!

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I mean. You ask her out for a drinks. You set a date. You offer to pick her up. You ask ONE question so you can actually figure out a suitable spot.. And you get silence until a couple hours before you're supposed to meet? She's not putting any thought into a 3 second text to answer my question, why am I putting thought into a night out?
Why don't you tell her this?
 

Glassguy

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I didn't.

She messaged me 10 minutes ago saying "Oh it looks like you replaced me quickly, I'm heartbroken"

Inconsiderate + I can now add childish to the list. Dodged a bullet
I would kill 2 birds with one stone by telling her:

"Sorry hun. When you didnt message me back it gave me mixed vibes so I made other plans. My time is valuable. When you get over your heart break maybe we can try it again."

By saying this you are being very direct, demanding respect and also keeping the line open for her to say "I am free _____. Can we meet up then"?

If she responds some high and mighty response or agrees to another time and doesnt show, dont ever respond to her again.
 
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