About self-improvement...

[Engetsu]

gav, it's pretty hard to eliminate all desire... Not everyone's Buddha, you know.

Maybe it's possible for a tiny minority of people, if you follow a path of meditation and religious devotion but I'm speaking in general, the more you have, the more you want.

There's always going to be something that you don't have, if it's not material, it's a way of being mentally or physically, etc. That's why the richer people get, the more they spend. You don't see Bill Gates living like a hermit with the income he has...

 

[Sammo]

Originally posted by Brazilian_Blues_Boy
Why do you want to "Self - Improve" yourselves?
What are you going to do when you have lots of muscles, good looks and money?

BBB

Let me have a crack at this...

Everyone know's how much i stress self improvement. Let me answer your first question.

Why do you want to "Self - improve" youselves

To enjoy life. Most guys just accept what they have and **** around with whatever, they aren't satisfied and at that rate they never will be. When you work hard, and i mean REALLY hard to get something you want it means so much more to you in your mind. When i finally got in shape and became a fit person and had girls looking at me sexually it felt extremmely good, some guys have always had it and taken it for granted but while i was working, working so hard to become better i felt as if i couldnt go any longer but i just kept going, when i got in good shape life was so much better then for someone who has always been in good shape. Sweet and sour, it's what life is all about.

Don't take anything for granted. Becoming a better person makes life more enjoyable and also it makes life more enjoyable for OTHER people, i love making peoples smile, i love making my friends laugh at all the stupid sh!t i do, i love setting up that AFC with that HB, i love making girls feel sexually blessed, it may not last long for them but for that moment, there in heaven.

What are you going to do when you have lots of muscles, good looks and money?

Keep improving myself, there always something more to improve. There are always new life experiences waiting around the corner and if you become more improved then you will open up more experiences. I have two hands, one to help myself and one to help others. I will keep enjoying life, thats the answer.

I cant make people love me, all i can do is become someone who can be loved. Then wait for people to realise my worth.

Now tell me where your goin with this buddy.

 

[drixsa]

Originally posted by Brazilian_Blues_Boy
Why do you want to "Self - Improve" yourselves?
What are you going to do when you have lots of muscles, good looks and money?

BBB

BBB-

why don't you just kill yourself then

With all your recent posts, or should i say rhetorical questions, it has become obvious that how smart you are is becoming the worst of you.

though i have all three of the listed qualites above i am still trying to life better, trying to complete myself more, have fun, and enjoy life.

i do this to make me happy, no other reason. Some things are hard and may be unenjoyable but the benefits that come out of them is worthwhile that helps add to my life.

this is all really in the persuit of happiness, nothing less.

 

[Brazilian_Blues_Boy]

Before I reply individually,

Originally posted by Brazilian_Blues_Boy
Why do you want to "Self - Improve" yourselves?
What are you going to do when you have lots of muscles, good looks and money?

In which part of my post do I say that I'm AGAINST self-improvement?
In which of these two and a half lines am I saying that I won't do a sh!t about life and that everyone's stupid for trying to self-improvement?

Don't jump into conclusions just yet.

BBB

 

[gav]

Originally posted by Brazilian_Blues_Boy
Before I reply individually,

Originally posted by Brazilian_Blues_Boy

In which part of my post do I say that I'm AGAINST self-improvement?


BBB

Ok, good point. I suppose it does give u extra motivation if u question and understand why ure doing it. tell us why ure for it then BBB

at a glance it seemed like u were attacking the idea

 

[Need-2-B-Pimpin]

Your tone implied that you were against self-improvement or some aspect of it. Where are you going with this, BBB? Ya got us all at least a bit confused.

 

[BWSL2]

Patience. I get the feeling the truth will be revealed in due time.

 

[Brazilian_Blues_Boy]

Okay, another round

LikRetSam, you self-improve to feel good about yourself? And consequently get more respect from your peers?

Drowning, so you self-improve to have a SOLID and CONCRETE reason to feel good about yourself? A irrefutable reason for you to appreciate yourself more, and doing so, making things easier for you to socialize?

BWSL2, now we're talking. Truth isn't out there in the corner, is closer than you think! You're right, at the stage you're at, it does sound vague. Chill because you're almost there

Radical subjectivity eventually leads to total objectivity.

Julius_Caesar, in some aspects you're right. But still you stated a procedure than a whole method.

Julian, is right on the money, but too generic. Everyone wants that.

gav, you surely need some mental toughness. I made a simple question and you've gotten all hyped up. It's good to see you put FEELINGS in the things you do, it's awesome to have passion. But be careful, maybe there's some DESPERATION riding along and there shouldn't be.

Engetsu, have you realized that some of the most obvious things in life are the hardest to explain? You want to be happy, that's fine, but, how are you going to live your whole life without contradicting your notions of happines?
You might happen to have one notion of happiness and its consequences may interfere your future notions of happiness, ever stopped to think about that?

Sammo, even though you're still stuck in a let's not say entirely wrong paradigm, yet not completely right paradigm, you're closer to it. Closer than you'd ever think.

drixsa, Happiness is abstract, subjective and individualistic. It's the same of me saying: "My objective is to LOVE."
Love what? The trees? Your dog? Your girlfriend? Your familiy? Or even in hour twisted human psyche, to LOVE to hate something?
I'll disregard your first coments. I was suicidal before I came to sosuave, and finally I have understood the reason that led me and still leads many more people to depression, suicidal thoughts, insecurity and self-depreciation.

Need--2-B-Pimpin, TONE, is related to SOUND. I wrote silent letters in an internet forum. How the hell could you know my TONE?
What if the reason of this post is reaching 67 pages and then saying: "Yeah folks, you're all right! Rock On!"
It's misperceptions like these that create 99% of the problems of the world.

BBB

 

[Need-2-B-Pimpin]

Tone can be related to words as well, all those stupid standardized test always say to derive crap from the tone of the passage...but either way, I meant the way you said what you did, word choice, etc.

 

[Capone]

Originally Posted by Brazilian_Blues_Boy
What will be your referential of success or failure? Will it be unchangeable? If it does change, how in the hell are you going to find the final goal?

Ok, time to get into a little more detail here. Self-improvement is about mastering yourself or an area of your life. Think about any RPG. Why do you bother to build your character up? It is so that when you reach the one final enemy, the most powerful of foes, you will show him who's boss. What if you couldn't save your game? You'd put twice the effort into your character to make SURE that you would hand the final enemy's ass to him on a silver platter when the time came.

The same goes for self-imrpvement. We improve ourselves so that when the time to prove ourselves comes - we don't even need to blink. There is no need for hestiation because you are so sure of yourself. Now apply this to the topic of sosuave - seduction. We constantly improve ourselves because we never know when that girl who is an incredibly hot babe, who meets more of your wants in a woman then most, will show up. By show up I do not mean she will come to you. You will have to use what you have learned from all your experiences and everything gained from your self-improvement. If you hesitate she will be gone forever. Don't blink.

I will refer my success and failure to how well the chick I will be with suits me. Can this change? Sure it can. Life is full of change to keep it fresh and exciting. How am I going to find the final goal? It'll be the one chick I want to settle with and spend my life with. She'll be the sum of my improvements. I will know that I worked hard to become who I am. I will know that my hard work got me a quality woman, and a quality life.

More or less, thats what I think.

 

[Skel]

"Why do you want to "Self - Improve" yourselves?
What are you going to do when you have lots of muscles, good looks and money?"

There are many areas to self improvement. Im gonna quit smoking cigarettes(and other things), start getting in shape, and maybe get back into school. Im doing it for myself and no one else. Self gratitude.

 

[hardwork]

Originally posted by Julian
What it comes down to is ... growth.

Why stay the same semi-effective blob of matter when I can grow and grab life by the horns?

Why?

Why the hell not? Who wants to spend their life just sitting around? I'd like my grandkids to think, "Man! Grandpa Jacques~ really used his life to do something instead of just sitting around waiting for it to end."

While I'm here, why not kick ass? While we're here, why not do something useful with our days?

 

[Zoso]

Self improvement means changing, improving, moving toward some goal. Doing this brings a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment and purpose. The opposite is true of complacency; nothing changes, nothing improves, and you are left with a sense of despair, boredom, and frustration.

The goal, the end result, the girls you get, these things are not important; the real value comes from the transition, the improvement itself. Humans are never satisfied with how things are or what they have, and so constantly yearn for something more. Self improvement is dynamic, it is truly living your life. When you stop improving, you stop your life. When every day is the same as before, you may be aging and time may be passing, but your life has stalled and become stagnant. You have no purpose, no direction, you hang in limbo.

The human mind is in conflict with itself: we feel a strong urge to improve, to build, to create, to progress; at the same time we are tempted by the comfort of laziness and complacency. But comfort means familiar and easy and so offers no sense of achievement, no satisfaction. When we choose to challenge ourselves, we are rewarded with happiness and a better self, which in turn motivates us to continue to improve. We thrive on change, we just have to learn to conquer our fear of it.

 

[Brazilian_Blues_Boy]

Okay, so far I havent't found an answer that fulfills the criteria I'm searching, so I'll throw this and I want YOU to invalidate those affirmations.


Self-Improvement, is a set of behaviors, actions and attitudes geared towards the improving of self-image, be it the physical image or the mental image, in order to boost confidence, which is going to bring along more social acceptance in consequence.
Also, Self-Improvement is a Selfish, Self-Centered quest for hedonism, ego indulgence, greed.

It's a beautiful way to picture one's life time quest for features that will assure the reason for his vanities and guarantee him unlimited sex.


So there it is. Rip it apart. If you can...

BBB

 

[Need-2-B-Pimpin]

Self-centered? So what, it's hard work, not corrupting indulgence (That comes later, hehe...but by then you will have learned discipline or your self-improvement will have been pretty small) and you aren't screwing anyone else over in the process.

Remaining stagnant because self-improvement doesn't help anybody but you reeks of niceguy-ness. If you have the vehement desire to help out in your community, join a volunteer organization or something.

And sure it's self-centered and fueled by greed. Who comes here to learn to be a DJ because they want to help the world and save the whales? I'm not saying that being totally self-centered is a good thing, I recommend anyone to get involved in volunteering-you help out your community and chicks tend to volunteer a lot.

Call it what you want, it's a good thing...greed, indulgence, or seeking an improved life and self.

It's humanity, man!

Edit: A thought I had in shower: Are you trying to emphasize discipline in self-improvement?

 

[Enduro]

Originally posted by Brazilian_Blues_Boy
Okay, so far I havent't found an answer that fulfills the criteria I'm searching, so I'll throw this and I want YOU to invalidate those affirmations.


Self-Improvement, is a set of behaviors, actions and attitudes geared towards the improving of self-image, be it the physical image or the mental image, in order to boost confidence, which is going to bring along more social acceptance in consequence.
Also, Self-Improvement is a Selfish, Self-Centered quest for hedonism, ego indulgence, greed.

It's a beautiful way to picture one's life time quest for features that will assure the reason for his vanities and guarantee him unlimited sex.


So there it is. Rip it apart. If you can...

BBB

Now why would I want to invalidate that?

 

[hardwork]

Don't mind if I do!

Originally posted by Brazilian_Blues_Boy
Okay, so far I havent't found an answer that fulfills the criteria I'm searching, so I'll throw this and I want YOU to invalidate those affirmations.

'Kay. I'll edit your post to help me with my points, kosher? (Akin to grinding your bones to make my bread!)

Originally posted by Brazilian_Blues_Boy
Self-Improvement, is a set of behaviors, actions and attitudes geared towards the improving of self [snip], be it the physical [snip] or the mental [snip], [snip], [snip].

Self-improvement is just that: improvement(-s) of the self. That it CAN be...

a Selfish, Self-Centered quest for hedonism, ego indulgence, greed

...I won't dispute; but so, too, can killing people be construed differently: most people draw a line between killing someone because you hate their race and killing someone because they ask you to end their pain.

I want to improve myself because it does others and myself no good to sit around and waste my time and energy, sucking up oxygen better left to deer and moss.

It's more human to improve and explore than it is to sit on my couch and eat. (And that goes for exploring both yourself and the world around you.)

Originally posted by Brazilian_Blues_Boy
It's a beautiful way to picture one's life time quest for features that will assure the reason for his vanities and guarantee him unlimited sex.

Again, I aquiesce; but just because it's possible doesn't mean it will happen all the time.

Maybe you've strung together "self-improvement" and "selfish, self-centered attaining of worldly pleasures"? (You sound like an American already )

Self-improvement feels good because it's during that shining moment when you notice yourself getting better at something that you get back a little piece of your inner caveman, a little piece of your amazement at the world. You realize that maybe life doesn't have to be as down-trodden as so many people make it out to be and maybe (just maybe!) you'll live your dreams and die feeling like a real person, a HuMAN being to the fullest extent.

Is it arrogant, pompous, self-centered, hedonistic, or "greedy" to want to fulfill the desires of your Humanity?

I improve myself because I want to feel what it is to be a real human, a real person.

The reason self-improvement differs so greatly from person to person is due (at least in part) to the fact that we are all different people. My inner-caveman wants to feel the wind on his back, the rain on his head. He wants to feel the roughness of craggy outcroppings clenched in his hands as he climbs some forgotten mountain. He wants to feel the dampness of the forest floor under his feet. He can't do that if he spends his days getting caught-up on his under-confidence and inability to make eye-contact with people. I can't do that if I'm not fleshing out and making real what it is to me to be Man.

Sure, a lot of guys here want to improve themselves to get laid. More power to 'em! But it's the guys who realize what they want and go after it with all their Manhood who really score big in life.

 

[VIVAlasVEGASBaby]

Self Improvement

If I may ask all of you a question...

How do you define improvement? Are you REALLY improving yourself by working out and studying? After immediantly reading that, of course, you are going to say that it IS improving. But think about it...

What difference does it make whether or not you have huge muscles or even lots of money. Will it make you happier? Will it truly make you "feel better" about yourself? Or is it just a "Selfish, Self-Centered quest for hedonism, ego indulgence, and greed."?

I believe that BBB is not attacking "self-improvemnt" but merely questioning our views and our justification on it. Most come to this site and immediantly read something like "**** girls, self improvement comes first". Well to an AFC "self-improvement" can have a great deal of meanings and generally an AFC simply accepts the mentality and moves on, never once questioning it.

So...

Why do all of you feel so noble because "you improve youselves"? You think you are better than anyone because you "work so hard"? Most would say that "self improvement" separates a DJ from an AFC, hell it is what i would have said 5 weeks ago, but in all reality self-improvement is just another game of bull**** we humans play in order to justify our existence.

Now, working out is not bad. Studying is definetely not bad. But having the wrong reasons for doing these things is bad. You should work out because YOU WANT TO WORK OUT, not because you want "to improve yourself", because in all honesty there are a billion ways to "improve yourself". You can be happy and confident and still be fat as hell. Muscle and money are extremely generic ways to improve yourself anyways.

Find what self improvement means to you; maybe its not even close to having more money, having more muscle, or having good looks Could i daresay that you may want to be nicer to people... or maybe face your insecurities? (Yes even DJs have them).

Words of Wisdom - Define self-improvement for yourself, and constantly question your justifications for doing it.

 

[Brazilian_Blues_Boy]

AND WE HAVE A WINNER !!

More on that latter...

BBB

 

[hardwork]

One of the oldest Von Neuen mantras

Originally posted by VIVAlasVEGASBaby
Define self-improvement for yourself, and constantly question your justifications for doing it.