Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

Read more...

A Very AFC New Year

Cheeks

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2011
Messages
240
Reaction score
10
So last night I was drunk and alone and pulled a very beta move.

Texted the ex. She played with me a little.

Me: Got plans tonight?

Her: Why do u ask?

Me: For an answer, why else

Her: Why, do you?

Me: I did, they fell through, working on a plan b

Her: Oh so you consider me as a backup plan---how sweet

Me: fairplay, you wouldn't have liked plan A anyway

Her: haha, and what was that?

Me: bungee jumping for Jesus

And then no response after that. In the moment, it seemed like I was doing well but this morning I just feel pathetic.

I guess this is symbolic of just how much I need to move on and let go. With the New Year here I'm feeling like a fresh start is in order, but the emptiness I feel is all-consuming and my ex still haunts my thoughts 24/7. I really wouldn't wish this on anyone.

Going to devote this year to ridding her from my system and focusing on self-improvement. Quit smoking, new job, daily workouts, and eradication of all AFC tendencies.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

Pimp-sicle

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 27, 2003
Messages
2,457
Reaction score
101
Location
Pimpsylvania
While I totally agree with you about moving on and keeping X's just that; I think you were doing well, until your last response. That sounds a bit morbid bro. Think if you would've kept escalating you could have had her come by or meet up.

But in either case, its probably for the best.

Happy NY and keep moving forward!




PIMP
 

Cheeks

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2011
Messages
240
Reaction score
10
Yeah, I was trying to come off as ****y and outcome independent. I failed.
 

Burroughs

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 28, 2011
Messages
2,171
Reaction score
99
always have your emotions under control BEFORE you start texting.
 

Desdinova

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2004
Messages
11,680
Reaction score
4,877
LMAO!!! I loved your last response!

But yeah, texting the ex wasn't a great idea. Oh well, just move on from it. Wipe her number off your phone so you won't do it again.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Atom Smasher

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2008
Messages
8,654
Reaction score
6,611
Age
69
Location
The 7th Dimension
How about this:

Texting is inherently subject to her misinterpreting you.

Drunk texting is a guaranteed fail.
 

Nutz

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 22, 2008
Messages
1,583
Reaction score
72
This is why you don't carry on conversations over text.

Me: Got plans tonight? <--asking for attention, bad. Should have opened with something quirky or a non-sequitor to break the ice.

Her: Why do u ask? <--she's not answering, treat this as a rapport break on her part. As a rule, when a woman gives you a rapport break, you give them one right back.

Me: For an answer, why else <--fair response as you're not playing into her frame by answering it

Her: Why, do you? <--she still hasn't answered your question if she has plans

Me: I did, they fell through, working on a plan b <--fail fail fail fail fail!

Her: Oh so you consider me as a backup plan---how sweet

Me: fairplay, you wouldn't have liked plan A anyway <--this was your opportunity to neg, toss out something ****y/funny, or any number of ways to bust on her
 

Knight's Cross

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 31, 2007
Messages
471
Reaction score
43
Drinking and texting, go together like lamb and tuna fish!
First mistake: alcohol and communications
Second Mistake: Contacting Ex
Third Mistake: Hasn't happened yet. If you repeat First and second mistake, you are up to mistake 3.
STOP NOW MY GOOD SIR!

KC
 

Cheeks

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2011
Messages
240
Reaction score
10
Nutz said:
This is why you don't carry on conversations over text.

Me: Got plans tonight? <--asking for attention, bad. Should have opened with something quirky or a non-sequitor to break the ice.

Her: Why do u ask? <--she's not answering, treat this as a rapport break on her part. As a rule, when a woman gives you a rapport break, you give them one right back.

Me: For an answer, why else <--fair response as you're not playing into her frame by answering it

Her: Why, do you? <--she still hasn't answered your question if she has plans

Me: I did, they fell through, working on a plan b <--fail fail fail fail fail!

Her: Oh so you consider me as a backup plan---how sweet

Me: fairplay, you wouldn't have liked plan A anyway <--this was your opportunity to neg, toss out something ****y/funny, or any number of ways to bust on her
I'm curious then, how would you have responded to her "Why, do you?" response. I figured by not being specific I could retain an air of mystery but I guess it was a massive fail.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Nutz

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 22, 2008
Messages
1,583
Reaction score
72
Cheeks said:
I'm curious then, how would you have responded to her "Why, do you?" response. I figured by not being specific I could retain an air of mystery but I guess it was a massive fail.
Treat it as a sh!t test, which is a form of a rapport break. Whenever a woman gives you a rapport break, you give one back. The most common response to a sh!t test is:

  • Agree & Amplify (to absurdity)
  • Ignore it
  • Change the subject

My suggestion is to ignore her question by changing the subject.
 

vatoloco

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 5, 2010
Messages
1,408
Reaction score
65
Nutz said:
This is why you don't carry on conversations over text.
QFT.


"I do not mind simple texting but trying to hold an intelligent conversation is hard over text messages. Thats what my neices and nephews do all day long and thats fine for them. But, I dont expect text messages from grown adults. Quick messages are good."​


Sauce.
 
Top