"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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A Very AFC New Year

Cheeks

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So last night I was drunk and alone and pulled a very beta move.

Texted the ex. She played with me a little.

Me: Got plans tonight?

Her: Why do u ask?

Me: For an answer, why else

Her: Why, do you?

Me: I did, they fell through, working on a plan b

Her: Oh so you consider me as a backup plan---how sweet

Me: fairplay, you wouldn't have liked plan A anyway

Her: haha, and what was that?

Me: bungee jumping for Jesus

And then no response after that. In the moment, it seemed like I was doing well but this morning I just feel pathetic.

I guess this is symbolic of just how much I need to move on and let go. With the New Year here I'm feeling like a fresh start is in order, but the emptiness I feel is all-consuming and my ex still haunts my thoughts 24/7. I really wouldn't wish this on anyone.

Going to devote this year to ridding her from my system and focusing on self-improvement. Quit smoking, new job, daily workouts, and eradication of all AFC tendencies.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Pimp-sicle

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While I totally agree with you about moving on and keeping X's just that; I think you were doing well, until your last response. That sounds a bit morbid bro. Think if you would've kept escalating you could have had her come by or meet up.

But in either case, its probably for the best.

Happy NY and keep moving forward!




PIMP
 

Cheeks

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Yeah, I was trying to come off as ****y and outcome independent. I failed.
 

Burroughs

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always have your emotions under control BEFORE you start texting.
 

Desdinova

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LMAO!!! I loved your last response!

But yeah, texting the ex wasn't a great idea. Oh well, just move on from it. Wipe her number off your phone so you won't do it again.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Atom Smasher

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How about this:

Texting is inherently subject to her misinterpreting you.

Drunk texting is a guaranteed fail.
 

Nutz

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This is why you don't carry on conversations over text.

Me: Got plans tonight? <--asking for attention, bad. Should have opened with something quirky or a non-sequitor to break the ice.

Her: Why do u ask? <--she's not answering, treat this as a rapport break on her part. As a rule, when a woman gives you a rapport break, you give them one right back.

Me: For an answer, why else <--fair response as you're not playing into her frame by answering it

Her: Why, do you? <--she still hasn't answered your question if she has plans

Me: I did, they fell through, working on a plan b <--fail fail fail fail fail!

Her: Oh so you consider me as a backup plan---how sweet

Me: fairplay, you wouldn't have liked plan A anyway <--this was your opportunity to neg, toss out something ****y/funny, or any number of ways to bust on her
 

Knight's Cross

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Drinking and texting, go together like lamb and tuna fish!
First mistake: alcohol and communications
Second Mistake: Contacting Ex
Third Mistake: Hasn't happened yet. If you repeat First and second mistake, you are up to mistake 3.
STOP NOW MY GOOD SIR!

KC
 

Cheeks

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Nutz said:
This is why you don't carry on conversations over text.

Me: Got plans tonight? <--asking for attention, bad. Should have opened with something quirky or a non-sequitor to break the ice.

Her: Why do u ask? <--she's not answering, treat this as a rapport break on her part. As a rule, when a woman gives you a rapport break, you give them one right back.

Me: For an answer, why else <--fair response as you're not playing into her frame by answering it

Her: Why, do you? <--she still hasn't answered your question if she has plans

Me: I did, they fell through, working on a plan b <--fail fail fail fail fail!

Her: Oh so you consider me as a backup plan---how sweet

Me: fairplay, you wouldn't have liked plan A anyway <--this was your opportunity to neg, toss out something ****y/funny, or any number of ways to bust on her
I'm curious then, how would you have responded to her "Why, do you?" response. I figured by not being specific I could retain an air of mystery but I guess it was a massive fail.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Nutz

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Cheeks said:
I'm curious then, how would you have responded to her "Why, do you?" response. I figured by not being specific I could retain an air of mystery but I guess it was a massive fail.
Treat it as a sh!t test, which is a form of a rapport break. Whenever a woman gives you a rapport break, you give one back. The most common response to a sh!t test is:

  • Agree & Amplify (to absurdity)
  • Ignore it
  • Change the subject

My suggestion is to ignore her question by changing the subject.
 

vatoloco

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Nutz said:
This is why you don't carry on conversations over text.
QFT.


"I do not mind simple texting but trying to hold an intelligent conversation is hard over text messages. Thats what my neices and nephews do all day long and thats fine for them. But, I dont expect text messages from grown adults. Quick messages are good."​


Sauce.
 
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