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A Strategy For Dealing With Her Exes & Orbitors

thelittleprince

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Personally I wouldnt have said anything on finding out just because I don't react in the moment. I don't think there's much to be gained through talking and they just come to resent you when being overt in a reactionary way. The minute a woman knows your reacting to something is when she knows (consciously or sub consciously) she has some control over you even if your fighting for "equality" or making the point that what's good for one is good for another. I wonder with women if there's any room for being fair, nice or honest at any level due to their socially supported, inbuilt self entitlement to enact their hypergamy. Maybe its a requirement to spin plates eternally and never commit to a woman and always always put yourself first in every way. A very subtle act to enact without giving the impression your trying, reacting or otherwise playing a role or a game. I would certainly be stepping up developing any plates and detracting sexual dependance on her. Actions speak much louder than words so I'd be demonstrating seeing other "friends" ex girlfriends and keeping my options firmly open to the point where your ready to next in 30 seconds flat when the heat comes.
 

thelittleprince

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I did this and it still didn't matter (after 3yrs the ex emerged out of nowhere 'but nothing to worry HankHill we're just friends'). I dumped her (at that time) but as a 3yr gf there was a lot invested. So dumping still didn't make things any easy on me, in fact, messed me up good. There really is no sure way around this problem. They will always have orbiters but the women that entertain them (emotionally or physically) are the problem women...
Hey mate can you expand on the part where you said They will always have orbiters but the women that entertain them (emotionally or physically) are the problem women?
 

thelittleprince

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So theyll give the bj but not puzzy? Did you know some prostitutes are bj only? Its due to soul ties. So im a firm believer that you must achieve presense in the vaginal cavity. Head is a side dish.
Hahhahahaa!! VG cavity only! That's a boundary mother ****er!
 

thelittleprince

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I don't want to drudge up the old boundaries/no boundaries arguments again. But I'm not going to tolerate an exclusive relationship with a woman who is spending time with other men, I don't care how she labels it.

A woman might try to hide it behind your back, but IMO that will reveal itself in time. I'm confident in my ability to know when something is up, and even if not the truth will come out eventually. That's why I always leave some part of my guard up, because I believe things can always go south.
Women are subconsciously self entitled to their solipsism and hypergamy. As the saying goes if you can't beat em join them. But due to social constructs I think we as men have to go further than just joining them oand trying to level the playing field. This is war. The reality is we need to one up them in every arena of their self entitled, covert sub conscious inbuilt natural game. But just like Neo, we can can get even better than them because we are men. Because we decide to commit to a cause rather than just enacting a societal and evolutionary built behavioural pattern. But I must admit, I've also been a beta with every women at some stage and have more than my fair share of things to work on but as Spaz noted recently on one of my questions - Do you want to be the passenger in a bus load of women who might **** you if you pass their tests or do you want to be the driver of your own bus who sets his own **** tests and has a fan club of 3-4 women dying to jump on your ****?
 

Red Legg

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You are confusing boundaries with "setting boundaries". We all have boundaries. Setting boundaries isn't necessarily a bad thing it's really just a waste of time because if she likes you she already knows what you are willing to live with. The only thing that matters is what you do when she violates your boundaries, stated or otherwise. But chicks will be chicks, and she will always push your boundaries to see what she can get away with, and if she is ready to move on, she won't care what your boundaries and will cross them. This is not a bad thing, it just tells you it's time to get off the ride and let the next dude to have his turn.
Spot on...I am to the point now that I don't give a rats ass if she has orbiters or not just fvck her good and often ….I ain't got the time for any "exclusive" bullsh!t...
 
R

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Set boundaries, don't allow urself to be compromised by orbiters. If she breaks them, dump her. Don't negotiate, don't even listen to their reasoning. Once u hv engaged them as you did, I'm certain she'll be smarter - to hide all her orbiters from now on and she'll keep you on a tighter leash by manipulating you into thinking she's a changed woman. This is where most men makes a mistake, thinking they can emotionally outsmart a woman, u aren't biologically equipped for this but she is, remember that.

A women that's in a relationship with a man she considers high value will automatically dump all her orbiters for fear of losing him..

There is no such thing as male - female platonic relationship. It's all lies that is used to create buffers for women to fall back on.

Again, be assertive and assume dominance when it comes to orbiters.
This rings of truth. She will dump her orbiters for a high value man. No male/female relationships are platonic. Those orbiters serve an emotional purpose and are used as a safety net.
Dump them immediately. No discussion. No debate. Ghost. Completely. She will get it. She’s not stupid.
I think that dumping them actually makes you a better man. She may or may not change. Who cares. You set that precedence in your mind and you start becoming that man. It will radiate from you like a beacon. The next one knows.

This “male friends” crap is the feminine imperative at work serving women only. I will not participate.
 

Red Legg

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This rings of truth. She will dump her orbiters for a high value man. No male/female relationships are platonic. Those orbiters serve an emotional purpose and are used as a safety net.
Dump them immediately. No discussion. No debate. Ghost. Completely. She will get it. She’s not stupid.
I think that dumping them actually makes you a better man. She may or may not change. Who cares. You set that precedence in your mind and you start becoming that man. It will radiate from you like a beacon. The next one knows.

This “male friends” crap is the feminine imperative at work serving women only. I will not participate.
I took a little bit of a different approach.The last woman I was with (and the last one I will ever be exclusive with ) went exclusive 3 months in.I snoopped her phone and saw she was talking to 5 men so I called her out on it ...she gave me the "they are just friends line" and "if you don't trust me then there is no reason to hang out" translation = I am not going to stop.So I started talking to other women while telling her that she needed to "rebuild" our trust I did not dump her and squeezed over a year of sex out of it.So I would not dump her my style is I just string them along if I can.
 

mrgoodstuff

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I took a little bit of a different approach.The last woman I was with (and the last one I will ever be exclusive with ) went exclusive 3 months in.I snoopped her phone and saw she was talking to 5 men so I called her out on it ...she gave me the "they are just friends line" and "if you don't trust me then there is no reason to hang out" translation = I am not going to stop.So I started talking to other women while telling her that she needed to "rebuild" our trust I did not dump her and squeezed over a year of sex out of it.So I would not dump her my style is I just string them along if I can.
Those five men were sexual conversation?
 

Red Legg

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Those five men were sexual conversation?
One was a work partner so she felt the need to talk to him at work AND online...she is a single mom BPD so I knew what I was getting into.It wasn't sexual but she was talking about how she could use a drink (she is an alcoholic) I think she was tying to get him to come over and bring a bottle...what you must realize as others have said above there is no such thing as platonic male friends it just doesn't exist.
 

mrgoodstuff

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One was a work partner so she felt the need to talk to him at work AND online...she is a single mom BPD so I knew what I was getting into.It wasn't sexual but she was talking about how she could use a drink (she is an alcoholic) I think she was tying to get him to come over and bring a bottle...what you must realize as others have said above there is no such thing as platonic male friends it just doesn't exist.
A drink is a bunch of bull! She knows he wants some so she may be getting her free drink but shes aware that she possibly suggested sex.
 
R

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I think she was tying to get him to come over and bring a bottle...what you must realize as others have said above there is no such thing as platonic male friends it just doesn't exist.
Priceless. Sex is always part of the equation. It’s never not about sex.
 

mrgoodstuff

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One was a work partner so she felt the need to talk to him at work AND online...she is a single mom BPD so I knew what I was getting into.It wasn't sexual but she was talking about how she could use a drink (she is an alcoholic) I think she was tying to get him to come over and bring a bottle...what you must realize as others have said above there is no such thing as platonic male friends it just doesn't exist.
I got some female friends i aint trying to be with. But if they offered some puzzy and i dont have a woman id take it. Id fvck them good too. But im not there just for some sex waiting around.
 

Red Legg

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I got some female friends i aint trying to be with. But if they offered some puzzy and i dont have a woman id take it. Id fvck them good too. But im not there just for some sex waiting around.
The work partner was married and all over her facebook ...he was definitely looking to fvck . If I had to do over I would just distance and spin plates and not say sh!t ......Just your average attention wh0re.
 

HankHill

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You did the right thing, she knew what you didn't want her to do and she did it anyway. It was her way of telling you it was over. That way she gets to say you were being an unreasonable clod... trying to keep her away from her 'friends'. Chicks will always have dudes sniffing around nothing you can do about that, chicks like the attention, when they act on this that is a problem.
Agreed but just for context, after I dumped her she did a lot of begging and pleading, dumped her ex and we started having porn style sex (better sex than we ever had, because during the make up sex I was overly dominant because I was pissed lol). I treated her as a sloot in bed and she loved it. But we both saw it as something physical because the trust was broken and I think she knew it. Then I found out that he was back in the picture about a yr later to at least some extent so I dropped her again...and again she swore up and down again that there's nothing going on and the things we do only happen with me etc etc. When I didn't take her back she started telling me how she saw a counselor and the counselor agreed with her that I'm insecure and possessive. I told her I don't care what anyone says it's disrespectful to me and I don't want to sleep with my eyes open for the rest of my life. I started dating another woman and she (my LTR) found out, she wrote me a 2 page letter how she always thought we'd be together forever and how quickly she was replaced etc etc. Anyway, long story short my point here is that this ex drama can literally f*ck up an otherwise a potential good LTR. Last I knew she was living with her ex 'as roommates' lol

LTRs are all about trust, which once broken is usually irreparable.

Hey mate can you expand on the part where you said They will always have orbiters but the women that entertain them (emotionally or physically) are the problem women?
Not sure how to expand, what I mean is that women will always have guys snooping around them to see if they can get into their pants, to have a relationship, or whatever. Women who will engage them even as 'friends' or 'co-workers' etc are the ones who you can't trust. They'll say you're insecure etc because you can't handle a platonic relationship...it's BS. Edit, I once overheard a woman tell a guy that tried to hit on her 'sorry, I have a bf and he's an MMA champ...' with a crooked smile. I felt the woman basically told this guy to 'fv*k off' in a nice way. That's the type of a woman you'd want for LTRs.

Also there are the garden variety orbiters like the guy from the coffee shop, a boring co-worker etc who don't pose a risk, then there are the exes where the lines can get crossed very easily because there's history/comfort-level etc.

Lastly when screening for LTR I'm not a fan of women who don't have actual hobbies other than going to the bars and dancing etc with their friends. A healthy, secure woman in my experience will have actual hobbies like gardening, baking, reading etc.
 

jaymbrs

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I got some female friends i aint trying to be with. But if they offered some puzzy and i dont have a woman id take it. Id fvck them good too. But im not there just for some sex waiting around.
I have some female friends whose husbands I get along with too. I wouldn't **** them if they made a move on me.
 
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