A random guy at the club cannot compete with Tinder, Bumble and her social circle

[SW15]

I think you took what I said too literally.

Tennis club is just an example, a social circle can be from any social activity or society that makes sense for your lifestyle.

What are your thoughts about an average guys success rate at a bar compared to a guy she meets through social media, dating apps or through a social circle?

I play tennis so I wanted to illustrate using tennis to meet women. I picked up a woman at a public tennis court and was able to get her on a date with me, so that was an accomplishment. That interaction quickly flamed out.

Among sports, volleyball and soccer are better bets than tennis for younger women, but tennis becomes good if targeting single women 35-50.

Average success rate at a bar compared to social media, dating apps, or social circle? Good question. The following are my ranked preferences on that, from most likely to succeed to least likely to succeed. Success is defined here as some blend of going on a date, having sex, and having an extended relationship.

1. Social circle: For those with social circles, social circles are best for getting dates that will turn into extended relationships. If your goal is to take a relationship beyond the 1 year mark, you'll get the most compatible dates through social circle. If you tend to turn over women more frequently, social circle isn't ideal. The average man wants to get laid consistently, so an extended relationship is his best bet for that, and therefore social circle is the best option.
2. Bar: The advantages that the bar gives an average man is that the in-person experience is conferred right away. It's easier to determine chemistry and the chances of a good, 1-3 hour date right away. Also, it is easier to find a higher quantity of attractive women at a bar or nightclub in any slice of time as compared to doing approaching in some non-bar setting. Bars are often better for one night stands or short term sexual arrangements than social circles.
3. Social media: There's a scene around sliding into DMs on Instagram and Twitter to a lesser extent. In the early days of Facebook, that happened, but Facebook has not been much of a dating factor in at least a decade. I've heard in the last 5 years or so about men trying to get dates by sliding into LinkedIn DMs, but this action isn't well perceived and has a bad reputation. If a man wants to use social media to pick up women, he needs to focus on Instagram and build a following there. More difficult to accomplish things here than the previous two.
4. Swipe apps: The worst of the worst. People resort to swipe apps when all other options fail.

 

[2Rocky]

If you don't stand out, you don't stand a chance.

Every time I took someone home from the bar, from the moment we made eye contact, it was on. I could have read her the phone book and still would have gone home with me.

I've been to other big clubs in big cities where girls were getting hit on left and right and I didn't stand out at all. I was just another dude in a sea of dudes. A real Night at the Roxbury feeling. I think the more a woman is approached at a club or bar, the higher her walls get and she becomes numb to the emotions associated with the excitement of meeting a stranger. Especially if the first couple guys who approach are uncalibrated or a big let down when they open their mouth.

At one point I finally decided I wasn't going to throw myself on the rocks of their ***** shield. I'd look for women who were welcoming and invited MY approach through eye contact and smiles. MUCH higher close rates.

 

[BDDazza]

I play tennis so I wanted to illustrate using tennis to meet women. I picked up a woman at a public tennis court and was able to get her on a date with me, so that was an accomplishment. That interaction quickly flamed out.

Among sports, volleyball and soccer are better bets than tennis for younger women, but tennis becomes good if targeting single women 35-50.

I see, you were relating it to tennis because its your thing.

I've got a friend who teaches Taekwondo, he has generated a few lays from his students.

For you it depends on the dynamics of your tennis club, if its a serious environment where the women want to play and leave then you'll find it hard to convert them. But if its a dynamic where the tennis group occasionally meet for dinner or social activities away from tennis it'll be easier to convert them into a date.

Average success rate at a bar compared to social media, dating apps, or social circle? Good question. The following are my ranked preferences on that, from most likely to succeed to least likely to succeed. Success is defined here as some blend of going on a date, having sex, and having an extended relationship.

1. Social circle: For those with social circles, social circles are best for getting dates that will turn into extended relationships. If your goal is to take a relationship beyond the 1 year mark, you'll get the most compatible dates through social circle. If you tend to turn over women more frequently, social circle isn't ideal. The average man wants to get laid consistently, so an extended relationship is his best bet for that, and therefore social circle is the best option.
2. Bar: The advantages that the bar gives an average man is that the in-person experience is conferred right away. It's easier to determine chemistry and the chances of a good, 1-3 hour date right away. Also, it is easier to find a higher quantity of attractive women at a bar or nightclub in any slice of time as compared to doing approaching in some non-bar setting. Bars are often better for one night stands or short term sexual arrangements than social circles.
3. Social media: There's a scene around sliding into DMs on Instagram and Twitter to a lesser extent. In the early days of Facebook, that happened, but Facebook has not been much of a dating factor in at least a decade. I've heard in the last 5 years or so about men trying to get dates by sliding into LinkedIn DMs, but this action isn't well perceived and has a bad reputation. If a man wants to use social media to pick up women, he needs to focus on Instagram and build a following there. More difficult to accomplish things here than the previous two.
4. Swipe apps: The worst of the worst. People resort to swipe apps when all other options fail.

"4. Swipe apps: The worst of the worst. People resort to swipe apps when all other options fail."

I like that saying. I might have to steal it.

 

[bat soup]

In some ways I disagree with the premise of this thread. Women are controlled by their feelings. A person that is standing right in front of her has far more ability to affect a woman's feelings than a message or a profile online among 10,000 others. At a bar you can get close and use touch and body language - this is going to arouse a woman if she's attracted to you and you will be able to see her reaction in real time.

 

[SW15]

I see, you were relating it to tennis because its your thing.

For you it depends on the dynamics of your tennis club, if its a serious environment where the women want to play and leave then you'll find it hard to convert them. But if its a dynamic where the tennis group occasionally meet for dinner or social activities away from tennis it'll be easier to convert them into a date.

I've played at both public and private courts over time. Because private courts tend to be pricier, they tend to attract a different crowd. It's an older crowd. 35+. Established couples. Maybe some Real Housewives type divorcees in their 40s who are fit.

Public tennis courts get all walks of life.

Male participation in tennis is much higher than female participation, even at the private, pricier courts.

I've got a friend who teaches Taekwondo, he has generated a few lays from his students.

That's common. Even in tennis, females in unsatisfying relationships have been known to have affairs with tennis instructors. Tennis instructors at private clubs are typically guys who played college tennis or were on the fringes on the pro tour and never made any money or played in any of the major tournaments. They are still better at tennis than mostly all recreational players, even quality recreational players like myself. They are usually fit and younger than the women that they bang.

Surfing instructors are also known as seducers of married women.

"4. Swipe apps: The worst of the worst. People resort to swipe apps when all other options fail."

I like that saying. I might have to steal it.

It's a good saying. You can use it.