"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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A Play In 2 Acts!!!!

boulepiquante

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PLAY IN 2 ACTS

ACT 1
CHARACTERS =BOULEPIQUANTE AND THE SEXY HOTTIE
PLACE = the coffeehouse
the hottie is sItting sipping what appears to be coffee or it might be tea ( but the drink is irrelevant to the action )

ME ( alias BOULIPIQUANTE ) may i sit at your table , THE CAFE IS SO BUSY

HER go ahead

ME thanx! don t want to disturb you but i am mr magic and i d like to show you a magic trick if i may
HER go ahead ( the gal so far hasn t got much convo )

ME i bet i can touch your BREAST without touching yoUr blouse

HER go ahead ( her vocabulary s definitely very limited!!
promising indeed for a full blown relationship )
so i reach out for her breast and i touch it
heck i ve lost my bet !!! i ve touched your blouse!! i owe you
one EURO

HER( all red DUE TO the airconditioning or the emotion ? ) you do that to all the girls

ME I do and it feels so good each time!!!

I owe you a euro!! i think because of the offense i ve committed you deserve more than that
fancy a bit at CROCO BELL? and a cuddle if you behave?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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James Bondage

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...uh....OK.

Here's what would probably actually happen:

BP (Boulepiquante): don t want to disturb you but i am mr magic and i d like to show you a magic trick if i may

Her: what?

BP: i bet i can touch your BREAST without touching yoUr blouse

Her: (rolls eyes) uh huh..

so i reach out for her breast and i touch it

BP: heck i ve lost my bet !!! i ve touched your blouse!! i owe you
one EURO

Her: (all red DUE TO the embarrassment) get your hands off you pervert! You do this to all the girls?

ME I do and it feels so good each time!!!

Her: (stunned look)

BP: I owe you a euro!! i think because of the offense i ve committed you deserve more than that
fancy a bit at CROCO BELL? and a cuddle if you behave?

Her: (still stunned) You better get out of here before i call the police a$$hole!
 
Last edited:

Tomatoes

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Originally posted by James Bondage
...uh....OK.

Here's what would probably actually happen:

BP (Boulepiquante): don t want to disturb you but i am mr magic and i d like to show you a magic trick if i may

Her: what?

BP: i bet i can touch your BREAST without touching yoUr blouse

Her: (rolls eyes) uh huh..

so i reach out for her breast and i touch it

BP: heck i ve lost my bet !!! i ve touched your blouse!! i owe you
one EURO

Her: (all red DUE TO the embarrassment) get your hands off you pervert! You do this to all the girls?

ME I do and it feels so good each time!!!

Her: (stunned look)

BP: I owe you a euro!! i think because of the offense i ve committed you deserve more than that
fancy a bit at CROCO BELL? and a cuddle if you behave?

Her: (still stunned) You better get out of here before i call the police a$$hole!

:crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

So true.
 

boulepiquante

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WELL IT S ALL VERY WELL TO MAKE A JOKE OF IT ALL
A FRIEND OF mine did that he touched her breast thru her blouse
she didn t call the police nor the restaurantowner but she begged him to do it again
and the story wouldn t be complete without was follows

he invitedher to the local CROCO BELL they flirted like mad couldn t help making love in the CROCOBELL
AS A RESULT A LOT OF CUTLERY WAS SMASHED and he had to pay for the damage
 

Tomatoes

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Originally posted by boulepiquante
WELL IT S ALL VERY WELL TO MAKE A JOKE OF IT ALL
A FRIEND OF mine did that he touched her breast thru her blouse
she didn t call the police nor the restaurantowner but she begged him to do it again
and the story wouldn t be complete without was follows

he invitedher to the local CROCO BELL they flirted like mad couldn t help making love in the CROCOBELL
AS A RESULT A LOT OF CUTLERY WAS SMASHED and he had to pay for the damage
Are you ill?


Or just abit wierd.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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boulepiquante

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r tomartoes
THE THING ABOUT IS THAT YOU HAVE NO HUMOR
MY POSTS ARE MEANT TO BE TONGUE IN CHEEK
AND YOU RE A BRIT
I THOUGHT Y D SUPPOSEDLY INVENTED HUMOR

PS IF YOU WANT TO PICK UP ON CRUMPETS HUMOR S A MUST DIDN T YOU KNOW
 

Tomatoes

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Originally posted by boulepiquante
r tomartoes
THE THING ABOUT IS THAT YOU HAVE NO HUMOR
MY POSTS ARE MEANT TO BE TONGUE IN CHEEK
AND YOU RE A BRIT
I THOUGHT Y D SUPPOSEDLY INVENTED HUMOR

PS IF YOU WANT TO PICK UP ON CRUMPETS HUMOR S A MUST DIDN T YOU KNOW

You know what.....the thing about humor is the joke HAS TO BE FUNNY!

You just spoute out random bull**** that makes no sense...

Dam Troll. Why am i even replying to this post. FEED THE TROLL!

Im glad i live in the UK!

Well being from South Africa i am suprised you have a sense of humor. Dont you need to spend your life dodging bullets and not being kidnapped. Lovely place.....3000 armed robberies a month in Johannesburg alone!

Rather have a crumpet than a bullet in me thanks.
 

boulepiquante

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tomatoes
all you can do is chain up corny jokes you probably got from the BEANO
the lowest sort of humor
you have no spontaneous humor per se
also you don t have to attack SOUtH AFRICA
there r a lot things NOT COOL one coul say about the BRITS like
they ransacked the RAJ
PUT OUR WOMEN AND CHILDERN IN concentration camps ( laagers) during the Boer war and thousands of them died of dysentry
your ancestors also starved to death the poor irish peasants ( ie the potatoe famin 1840 s
 
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