Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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A Play In 2 Acts!!!!

boulepiquante

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PLAY IN 2 ACTS

ACT 1
CHARACTERS =BOULEPIQUANTE AND THE SEXY HOTTIE
PLACE = the coffeehouse
the hottie is sItting sipping what appears to be coffee or it might be tea ( but the drink is irrelevant to the action )

ME ( alias BOULIPIQUANTE ) may i sit at your table , THE CAFE IS SO BUSY

HER go ahead

ME thanx! don t want to disturb you but i am mr magic and i d like to show you a magic trick if i may
HER go ahead ( the gal so far hasn t got much convo )

ME i bet i can touch your BREAST without touching yoUr blouse

HER go ahead ( her vocabulary s definitely very limited!!
promising indeed for a full blown relationship )
so i reach out for her breast and i touch it
heck i ve lost my bet !!! i ve touched your blouse!! i owe you
one EURO

HER( all red DUE TO the airconditioning or the emotion ? ) you do that to all the girls

ME I do and it feels so good each time!!!

I owe you a euro!! i think because of the offense i ve committed you deserve more than that
fancy a bit at CROCO BELL? and a cuddle if you behave?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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James Bondage

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...uh....OK.

Here's what would probably actually happen:

BP (Boulepiquante): don t want to disturb you but i am mr magic and i d like to show you a magic trick if i may

Her: what?

BP: i bet i can touch your BREAST without touching yoUr blouse

Her: (rolls eyes) uh huh..

so i reach out for her breast and i touch it

BP: heck i ve lost my bet !!! i ve touched your blouse!! i owe you
one EURO

Her: (all red DUE TO the embarrassment) get your hands off you pervert! You do this to all the girls?

ME I do and it feels so good each time!!!

Her: (stunned look)

BP: I owe you a euro!! i think because of the offense i ve committed you deserve more than that
fancy a bit at CROCO BELL? and a cuddle if you behave?

Her: (still stunned) You better get out of here before i call the police a$$hole!
 
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Tomatoes

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Originally posted by James Bondage
...uh....OK.

Here's what would probably actually happen:

BP (Boulepiquante): don t want to disturb you but i am mr magic and i d like to show you a magic trick if i may

Her: what?

BP: i bet i can touch your BREAST without touching yoUr blouse

Her: (rolls eyes) uh huh..

so i reach out for her breast and i touch it

BP: heck i ve lost my bet !!! i ve touched your blouse!! i owe you
one EURO

Her: (all red DUE TO the embarrassment) get your hands off you pervert! You do this to all the girls?

ME I do and it feels so good each time!!!

Her: (stunned look)

BP: I owe you a euro!! i think because of the offense i ve committed you deserve more than that
fancy a bit at CROCO BELL? and a cuddle if you behave?

Her: (still stunned) You better get out of here before i call the police a$$hole!

:crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

So true.
 

boulepiquante

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WELL IT S ALL VERY WELL TO MAKE A JOKE OF IT ALL
A FRIEND OF mine did that he touched her breast thru her blouse
she didn t call the police nor the restaurantowner but she begged him to do it again
and the story wouldn t be complete without was follows

he invitedher to the local CROCO BELL they flirted like mad couldn t help making love in the CROCOBELL
AS A RESULT A LOT OF CUTLERY WAS SMASHED and he had to pay for the damage
 

Tomatoes

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Originally posted by boulepiquante
WELL IT S ALL VERY WELL TO MAKE A JOKE OF IT ALL
A FRIEND OF mine did that he touched her breast thru her blouse
she didn t call the police nor the restaurantowner but she begged him to do it again
and the story wouldn t be complete without was follows

he invitedher to the local CROCO BELL they flirted like mad couldn t help making love in the CROCOBELL
AS A RESULT A LOT OF CUTLERY WAS SMASHED and he had to pay for the damage
Are you ill?


Or just abit wierd.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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boulepiquante

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r tomartoes
THE THING ABOUT IS THAT YOU HAVE NO HUMOR
MY POSTS ARE MEANT TO BE TONGUE IN CHEEK
AND YOU RE A BRIT
I THOUGHT Y D SUPPOSEDLY INVENTED HUMOR

PS IF YOU WANT TO PICK UP ON CRUMPETS HUMOR S A MUST DIDN T YOU KNOW
 

Tomatoes

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Originally posted by boulepiquante
r tomartoes
THE THING ABOUT IS THAT YOU HAVE NO HUMOR
MY POSTS ARE MEANT TO BE TONGUE IN CHEEK
AND YOU RE A BRIT
I THOUGHT Y D SUPPOSEDLY INVENTED HUMOR

PS IF YOU WANT TO PICK UP ON CRUMPETS HUMOR S A MUST DIDN T YOU KNOW

You know what.....the thing about humor is the joke HAS TO BE FUNNY!

You just spoute out random bull**** that makes no sense...

Dam Troll. Why am i even replying to this post. FEED THE TROLL!

Im glad i live in the UK!

Well being from South Africa i am suprised you have a sense of humor. Dont you need to spend your life dodging bullets and not being kidnapped. Lovely place.....3000 armed robberies a month in Johannesburg alone!

Rather have a crumpet than a bullet in me thanks.
 

boulepiquante

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tomatoes
all you can do is chain up corny jokes you probably got from the BEANO
the lowest sort of humor
you have no spontaneous humor per se
also you don t have to attack SOUtH AFRICA
there r a lot things NOT COOL one coul say about the BRITS like
they ransacked the RAJ
PUT OUR WOMEN AND CHILDERN IN concentration camps ( laagers) during the Boer war and thousands of them died of dysentry
your ancestors also starved to death the poor irish peasants ( ie the potatoe famin 1840 s
 
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