"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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A kick in the a$$

Huffman

Master Don Juan
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Hi Folks!

My situation is as follows: I've known this girl for a couple of months now (we live in the same house), seen her occasionally, got to know her a little.
I'm getting heavy signs of interest from her. I also recently dated her, though it was relaxed fun dates, so not specifically romantic.
She's not the only plate I'm spinning, but the most promising by far.

However, thus far I've been holding back a little because she's got a boyfriend. And I think she's not the type to cheat on him. Nevertheless, I need to reach a conclusion. For myself.

What I need is: to get my balls together and actually try to close her, so that I shall either have her, or I can at least set my mind to other things.

What you can do for me: give me a kick in the ass! I've wasted a couple of opportunities, but think it's not too late yet (actually it isn't as bad as it sounds). I had always waited for the perfect oppurtunity - which won't come.
I know it for myself. I know what I have to do. I have the resolve. But as soon as we're chitchatting or flirting away, I can't bring myself to do it anymore. I'm waiting for something that won't ever happen.
Help me get my balls out. Please?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Mr. Wise

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If I were you I'd keep doing what you're doing. Patience. Set a trap, attract her and let her fall in it. Let her come to you my man.
 

Mr. Wise

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Huffman said:
What I need is: to get my balls together and actually try to close her, so that I shall either have her, or I can at least set my mind to other things.
What you need is: Self control IMO. She lives in the same house as you for crying out loud, she ain't going anywhere soon. Patience and control will land her but you have to make it her idea, not yours because if you get rejected, you have to see her face everyday.
 

Huffman

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Thank you Mr. Wise.
You are, of course, correct - how could a girl you don't know very well be so important.
I feel myself reverting to AFC ways and losing my cool every now and then ;)
 

Huffman

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Epilogue:

I did just that, kept my cool and set the trap - thank you again.
Just as I had assumed, she told me she would stay with her boyfriend. However, this doesn't come as a real failure to me, as she admitted she was "strangely very attracted" and very torn about what to do.

I could never have sparked that attraction without the lot of you - many thanks to sosuave.

Could it have worked? We will never know. I refused to attempt those "boyfriend destroyer" mindgames, as I believe this practice to be very spineless.

Time to move on. I didn't really expect it wo work out, but now I know I got the right stuff. It isn't really that hard.
Such a long way I've come since my AFC days.
This is to a brighter future!
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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j81

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Huffman said:
Epilogue:

I did just that, kept my cool and set the trap - thank you again.
Just as I had assumed, she told me she would stay with her boyfriend. However, this doesn't come as a real failure to me, as she admitted she was "strangely very attracted" and very torn about what to do.

I could never have sparked that attraction without the lot of you - many thanks to sosuave.

Could it have worked? We will never know. I refused to attempt those "boyfriend destroyer" mindgames, as I believe this practice to be very spineless.

Time to move on. I didn't really expect it wo work out, but now I know I got the right stuff. It isn't really that hard.
Such a long way I've come since my AFC days.
This is to a brighter future!
To hell with her boyfriend.

I'm sure if roles were reversed he would try to take her from you, and might succeed. If I were you, I'd be all over that (in a non-AFC way that is), boyfriend or not.
 
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