"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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A kick in the a$$

Huffman

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Hi Folks!

My situation is as follows: I've known this girl for a couple of months now (we live in the same house), seen her occasionally, got to know her a little.
I'm getting heavy signs of interest from her. I also recently dated her, though it was relaxed fun dates, so not specifically romantic.
She's not the only plate I'm spinning, but the most promising by far.

However, thus far I've been holding back a little because she's got a boyfriend. And I think she's not the type to cheat on him. Nevertheless, I need to reach a conclusion. For myself.

What I need is: to get my balls together and actually try to close her, so that I shall either have her, or I can at least set my mind to other things.

What you can do for me: give me a kick in the ass! I've wasted a couple of opportunities, but think it's not too late yet (actually it isn't as bad as it sounds). I had always waited for the perfect oppurtunity - which won't come.
I know it for myself. I know what I have to do. I have the resolve. But as soon as we're chitchatting or flirting away, I can't bring myself to do it anymore. I'm waiting for something that won't ever happen.
Help me get my balls out. Please?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Mr. Wise

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If I were you I'd keep doing what you're doing. Patience. Set a trap, attract her and let her fall in it. Let her come to you my man.
 

Mr. Wise

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Huffman said:
What I need is: to get my balls together and actually try to close her, so that I shall either have her, or I can at least set my mind to other things.
What you need is: Self control IMO. She lives in the same house as you for crying out loud, she ain't going anywhere soon. Patience and control will land her but you have to make it her idea, not yours because if you get rejected, you have to see her face everyday.
 

Huffman

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Thank you Mr. Wise.
You are, of course, correct - how could a girl you don't know very well be so important.
I feel myself reverting to AFC ways and losing my cool every now and then ;)
 

Huffman

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Epilogue:

I did just that, kept my cool and set the trap - thank you again.
Just as I had assumed, she told me she would stay with her boyfriend. However, this doesn't come as a real failure to me, as she admitted she was "strangely very attracted" and very torn about what to do.

I could never have sparked that attraction without the lot of you - many thanks to sosuave.

Could it have worked? We will never know. I refused to attempt those "boyfriend destroyer" mindgames, as I believe this practice to be very spineless.

Time to move on. I didn't really expect it wo work out, but now I know I got the right stuff. It isn't really that hard.
Such a long way I've come since my AFC days.
This is to a brighter future!
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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j81

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Huffman said:
Epilogue:

I did just that, kept my cool and set the trap - thank you again.
Just as I had assumed, she told me she would stay with her boyfriend. However, this doesn't come as a real failure to me, as she admitted she was "strangely very attracted" and very torn about what to do.

I could never have sparked that attraction without the lot of you - many thanks to sosuave.

Could it have worked? We will never know. I refused to attempt those "boyfriend destroyer" mindgames, as I believe this practice to be very spineless.

Time to move on. I didn't really expect it wo work out, but now I know I got the right stuff. It isn't really that hard.
Such a long way I've come since my AFC days.
This is to a brighter future!
To hell with her boyfriend.

I'm sure if roles were reversed he would try to take her from you, and might succeed. If I were you, I'd be all over that (in a non-AFC way that is), boyfriend or not.
 
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