A journal of sorts

cheyne

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I notice that there's not a journal section on this forum?

I'm 27. Live i Europe. 5ft 6. Facially I drew the short straw a bit with a big nose and a tiny chin lol. Not much hair either. I have a decent body, though!

Started reading this carious forums about how to get laid and done the typical 'inner game' advice (such as learning a musical instrument. Piano and guitar in my case. I'm getting decent! Took up some new hobbies. Meditate. Go to the gym, although was already doing that to be fair)

I also 'learnt game'. I don't think of it as 'learning game' though to be honest as I don't think I read anything that I didn't already know. - I already know about how to hold eye contact and to listen to what she says and then try to relate. I naturally tease people when the opportunity arises etc. I know not to be 'clingy' and declare my undying love etc. I feel like 'game' is common sense for normal people but maybe needs to be 'learnt' if someone hasn't been at all socialised or has autism maybe? However, I started with mysterymethod and read a few books, finishing with 'models' which was kind of the polar opposite of 'mysterymethod' in every possible way, which was quite amusing lol (having so many experts who disagree on literally every single nuance of game!)

Anyway, throughout that time I began approaching.

I'd estimate maybe 300 approaches? All at night in pubs and bars.

A mixture of indirect and direct. Since experts disagree and there's clearly no 'right' or 'wrong' way, I decided that both approaches 'work' and so I thought best to play with both and see which one gives me the best results

Of them 300 or so approaches, i'd say the 'split' was fairly even in terms of results

So 150 indirect approaches, resulted in like 90 'insta rejections' where she basically ignores me, or rlooks at me and walks away, or just tells me 'sorry i'm not interested/you're not my type''

The other 60 approaches were where girls were at least seemingly interested in having some sort of interaction. I tease, ask questions, make cold reads etc.

However, once it's clear that i'm interested in being more than friends and maybe try to ramp up the kino a little, or make a flirty comment or try to move her to isolation, that's when rejection happens.

Except in the case of one girl who was into me and I escalated too having sex with her that night. However, I feel like going 'direct' would have got me the same exact result in her case.

The 150 direct approaches have a similar distribution although since i'm showing intent from the off, the insta rejections were probably a little bit higher.

I guess direct forces her to decide whether she thinks you're good looking enough for her or not?

Despite so much rejection, I feel it almost gave me a smalll confidence boost and I started trying to game girls at work, too

2 hot new girls started. Both 18.

With the first one, I decided to just be the fun, socialble guy and spoke to her a fair bit, teased her, showed that i'm sexual with DHV stories etc and she was very receptive etc and seemed to like me quite a lot, although once i showed some intent, she kind of basically said ''I like you as a friend. You're fun and popular bla bla but i'm just no into you in that way. Hope we can still be friends''

Someone told me that my mistake was not showing my intent straight away, so Once the other new girl started working here, I showed intent within a few days, but she told me that she wasn't really interested in guys/hooking up at the moment etc.

However, I found out from our mutual colleague that she spends lots of time in the office hitting up random(strangers) 'handsome' guys on instagram and meets up with some! ''Not looking for hookups!!??'' she says!! lol.

Also, It seems maybe the 'girls don't care about looks' stuff isn't quite on the money, but it is what it is and I don't intent to give up. Still continuing too approach.

Not sure there's much more I can do to improve my hit rate at this point, though. I think we just live in a very superficial world now! I'm not blaming the girls, though. Us guys are the same and just as bad lol. We're only interested in the hot girls, too!!

Will update this from time to time
 

cheyne

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Opened a girl direct near the dancefloor. Told her she was cute. She looked at me and then told her friend what i'd said and they moved away! haha. Opened a girl with an observational opener about her jacket. SHe was like a 9! Teased her. Made a cold read but she wasn't really responding and it fizzled out soon. Opened a girl and then realised I knew her as we met on a night out years ago. She was with 2 friends, one of whom I nearly pulled a year back. I'm chatting to the hottest one but just my luck, she notices some really handsome dude drinking at the bar. She's too scared to open him, so her friend goes over to him and it is like ''My friend thinks you're hot!'' He comes over. Runs interview mode for a few mins and then she kissed him. I bail that set and make a few dancefloor appraoches but not luck. Hopefully out tonight again
 

kirt

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Man, it's painful just to read your reports. You need to change your game before you run yourself into depression.

You obviously lack in Looks (height and face). You keep going to gym and that's good, don't ever stop, but even if you have a ripped body of an underwear model, it's still not enough for pubs and bars. These are the places where ONLY looks matters. You need to bet on other aspects of your masculinity, i.e. Assets, Status and Game and opt for an environment where you can use these aspects instead of raw looks.

Try hobby clubs like salsa or tango amateurs dancing. Try different thematic outdoor fests, climbing, marathon runners... Use your social circles for puck-ups, i.e. invite yourself into companies of your friends for different birthday parties and so on. You need something where you can start casual conversations without obvious intend to find a girl for a night. You won't be able to do 300 approaches so quickly, but the chances to close deals will be much higher.

Also, try to take advantage on everyday mundane situations, where a causal "accidental" opener is appropriate. For example, in a supermarket line, "hey, I see you got wine there. Have you tried it before? Is it good?". Use a voice recorder to later analyze your speech and your actions during the approach.

And stop aiming at 9s. You're just starting, right? You need "starter girlfriends". Someone not too ugly, who you'll use just for practice. For now, lower your standards as much as you can to hone your Game skills and get rid of all the Blue Pill conditioning (ONEitis, sniper mentality, Nice Guy affliction, etc.).

Keep reading books on games and masculinity. It's worth reading them several times and listening to them over and over as audiobooks. They are often so packed with information which cannot be accepted by your Blue Pill mind that you need to soak yourself in it for quite some time before your paradigm shifts.

And last but not least, be your mental point of origin. Don't let rejection get you. You're getting lots of it now and so far you're doing good, but don't just play numbers game. Try to learn from each rejection, because if you don't learn from your mistakes, there is no point in doing them.

Keep on reporting, bro. Give more details in your reports, so more experienced DJs here could point at your mistakes.
 

Medina

Senior Don Juan
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Looksmax 101

Everything else seems fine. You have approached more girls than 99%

Excellent

Now for the looks

The best looking men spend the most time on appearance. Ever realized that?

Tanning, beard game, mosturizer, hair thickener, clothes, shades, style

Guys on here call it cuck but well groomed guys are cucking them
 

cheyne

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Popped out briefly last night
My friend opened some girl he liked at the bar and then her friends came over to get served at the bar
I got speaking too an older lady, but next to her was some fairly pretty 18 year old. They were work friends.
I started talking to her a little. They went too a different bar, but she ended up coming to the place me and my friends were at (i'd told her where we were going)
I start dancing with her and slowly kind of isolate her a bit. I bring up the topic of dating as a way to kind of feel her out and I start to make some flirty comments and I decide to play 'fuk, kill or marry' with her, using random strangers in the bar
We're flirting and I start giving her some physical compliments, whilst also 'pushing' a little too with some teases
I know she is about to leave as her friend wants to drag her away and I pull her in for a makeout.
She gives me her number
Text me at like 3am just to say she had fun
I know it's only a kiss, but she's kinda cute and my type that it gives me a little confidence boost
On the downside I was a complete pu$sy in terms of approach anxiety last night

 

cheyne

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Pretty sure that girl isn't interested. Shame, but time to forget about her lol

Went out last night for a bit

First open was a mixed group with a pretty girl sitting on the edge of a bench (beer garden) so I just sat next to her and said hi and told her that we were drinking neighbours. I noticed an accent and we chatted a bit about her being from Poland. Soon after her hot blonde friend came over to get involved and now i'm talking to them both. I eventually settle on her friend anad we chat for a good 15 mins, but every time I tried to escalate or flirt etc, she'd kind of shoot me down and I decided she wasn't interested so left her a little after that.

Opened a really hot 2 set in the beer garden. Decided to go direct this time and opened and told the one I liked that I thought she was hot and so wanted to say hi, but she told me I wasn't her type, and her hot friend had a boyfriend. I used this set to practice plowing a little just for practice and had a 10 min convo and kept it playful and fun etc, but yeah

Different bar now - was on the dancefloor and some guy taking photo's pointed the camera at me and 2 hot girls who were dancing near me. I went to kind of encourage them closer to me so that we could all be in the photo, but the hot one was a rude mofo and said something like ''Eww...no. I don't wanna be in a pic with you'' lol.

Opened a hot girl at the bar - direct - but she said she wasn't interested.

Confidence took a bit of a nose-dive (I actually think it was the dancefloor girl that caused the damage lol) and I found myself not opening loads of super hot girls who I wanted too approach. Approach anxiety sucks so much! I think it's with me for life!

I walk down the street and there's a super hot girl standing outside of a pizza place, waiting for her firnds who are inside. I open indirect with some sort of observational opener, and after a slightly frosty reception, she kinds of opens up a bit. We talk for 5 mins and i'm cold reading and being flirty etc, but her friends just kind of steal her from me now that they've got their pizza. Set ended kind of abruptly

Walking towards the cab place now to go home and I spot a group of girls sitting on the steps outside of the bar that is now closed. I just sit down next to the one I like (blonde girl wearing glasses. kInd of a hot nerd thing going on).
I say 'hi', and she's kind of polite friendly and it turns out she's Polish.
We make some small talk. After a while I start to make it a little more flirty, sexualising the convo and teasing her about things. She mentions tattoos and I start to trace tattoo designs on her naked legs. Her legs are the SOFTEST legs i've ever felt. She copies my 'routine' and starts running her fingers on my arm lol. We're just talking about nothing. I love how she fills in the silences and breaks the tension each time lol. She's staying in a single room in a hotel with her work colleague and the 3 of us walk towards their hotel and as we enter the lobby area, her friend goes upstair and the girl i'm with tells her she'll be up in a second. As we're talking, I pull her towards me and kiss her. We start making out and I grab both of her hands with my hand and kind of restrain her and it totally turns her on and she's like ''How did you know I like that!'' or something. I'm running my hands all over her body and I contemplate trying to bang her right there, but I can tell she's not quite there yet and it's like 5am and i'm not THAT into her (like I was the girl from last week!!!) so I decide to bail
 

kirt

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How did you figure out that girl from last week was not interested? She gave you her number and texted that she had fun that night. Why didn't you develop from there?

Why didn't you "close" that Polish girl? Why did you spend time on her if you were not THAT into her? Why did you start thinking that she was not quite there to have sex with you? You should not think about it. Let her to decide whether she want to have sex with you or not, but don't disqualify yourself too early.

Iron Rule of Tomassi #8

Always let a woman figure out why she won't ƒuck you, never do it for her.
 

cheyne

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How did you figure out that girl from last week was not interested? She gave you her number and texted that she had fun that night. Why didn't you develop from there?
In the morning I text her saying we should go out again soon (soft close, as per PUA widsom) and she was like ''yeah, definitely!!xx''
So looking good and I was happy! :)
Soon after I went for the 'hard close' (as I read to do if she seems keen on the softclose) but as soon as I was like ''Let's go out next Tuesday'' or whatever, she started messing around talking about how she's 'always busy' and how she wasn't sure if she'd be able to make any night out in the forseeable future lol
I know it's bull**** because on the night I met her, she had work in the morning and didn't give a **** about being out and getting drunk until 3am lol
SO yeah, It's not looking good i'm afraid lol



Why didn't you "close" that Polish girl? Why did you spend time on her if you were not THAT into her? Why did you start thinking that she was not quite there to have sex with you? You should not think about it. Let her to decide whether she want to have sex with you or not, but don't disqualify yourself too early.
As I said, when I started to go past kissing, she'd put the brakes on. She said 'You should go now' a few times And she'd already said I couldn't go to her room. where her friend was. She was of course hot enough to have sex with, but it was VERY later once i'd met her (i'd been approaching all night!) and I didn't wanna keep persisting with her in some hotel lobby tbh. If it was the girl from last week i'd have likely tried harder and for longer!
 

cheyne

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Only a few approaches last night as was out with my rich boss and a few others as someone is leaving the company

First approach I went direct and told the girl I thought she looked nice and wanted to meet her. 18. Hot as ****. She kind of done the ignore thing UK girls do and then told me she was only 18 and that I was way too old for her and kind walked away. Next.

A woman brushes up near me and kind of smiles as she walks past so I open her and we chat briefly. She tells me she's with a friend she needs to speak too but might see me later. I spot her 10mins later looking at me and she kind of beckons me over. I beckon her back (need to be the leader, dominant one in charge) but she won't budge, so rather than lose the set, I go over to her. My boss comes over to try to game her friend, but she's not interested. Boss is a millionnaire, but he's VERY short and much older than her. He's like maybe 50? She was 19 lol. The one i'm talking too is Polish and kinda hot, but she's too old for me to really really want to bang her (35 I think) I take her number for the sake of it and we move on.

In a bar now with a different colleague. Average looking .25. He opened a 2-set and was like ''Hey guys, how's your night going??'' and they just looked at him and then at each other. He carried on ''I thought i'd come over and say 'hi' quickly, what are your names?'' and again they just look at him and then look away. He's like ''Errr....It's ok. I'm just being friendly. This isn't a robbery!!
Smile
'' and one of them just nods her head in a sarcastic way. He's like ''Do you speak English?!!'' and she's like 'yeah' and then she literally turns her back towards him and then her friend grabs her and they walk away. Tough crowd!! haha

I then spot a girl I banged from cold approach ages ago, and she's witth 3 friends. We are all dancing and stuff, and one of her friends (who is too young to be there. 17!!!) stars flirting with me whilst the other girl (who I banged ages ago) is in the bathroom. She tells me to kiss her lol. I realise that it's just to hurt the other girl. They're kind of 'Frienemies' I guess!! Anyway, she almost passed out within minutes of trying to get me to kiss her and all of the girl were escorted out by the bouncers lol. I called it a day at that point

Hopefully out for a big one on Saturday
 

cheyne

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Went to Brighton (UK) on the weekend. It was full of hot, half naked girls, so tonnes of girls too approach (I recommend it for any UK guys!), but honestly very little to write about unfortunately.

Initially me and the guys I was with done some AA exercises and were trying to get girls to dance with us on the street. Me and one dude got lots of rejections/weird faces, and the 3rd guy (very handsome indeed. Looks like a young Dicaprio) killed us lol. He was getting numbers and young girls throwing themselves at him.

I got one girl to dance with me and I told her she was cute and she gave me her number.

I hit on a group of girls on the beach. The one I liked was a professional model whose been in music vids for Greenday and a few others. Solid 8.5. She also had a hot sister. Cold read, tease, ask questions etc etc, but No luck (although the sister fancied my handsome, 'Dicaprio' friend despite not really talking lol)

Then went bar hopping and made maybe 15 approaches or so, mainly around the bar area or on the dancefloor, but no bites. Mainly just insta-rejections or just opening girls who weren't really interested

Part of the reason I went is becuause the 2 guys I went with work with 2 hot girls who I was hoping to try my luck with, but DiCaprio has already banged them BOTH so he didn't want to see them as he said it'd be awkward, and so I never got to meet them.

I Got a call from the girl whose number I got earlier on the street, but I couldn't hear her in the club, so I rang her back and text her, but she never replied.

Handsome friend pulled a barely legal teenager who he'd met earlier that day and went to go bang her despite the horrific age gape lol (she was stunning to be fair, though)

Other friend made out with a pretty girl who I thought was like 21 but she was actually in her 30's!! He Didn't bang though. She had a boyfriend
 
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cheyne

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Went out last night. Opened a 2-set. Asked who they were. Started teasing one of the girls about her posh accent and stuff. Cold read them about their jobs and we had a fun little convo. We wanted to go too a different bar and they wanted to stay so I said ‘maybe i’ll bump into you later’ and left.

I then get a text from the girl I cold approached 3 weeks back who I kissed : imgur.com/a/y0USjdZ

I’m trying to arrange to meet her as I really wanna bang her, but it’s hard and she’s messing me around as she’s on a works night out thing.

I open a few more sets. Couple of fast rejections. Some girls (especially very young hot ones) simply don’t wanna give you a shot sometimes. It is what it is.

I then bump into the 2 set from earlier in a different bar. Later now. I open them at the bar and tease them about followning me and we banter a bit, I isolate my one a little more and ask her some stuff and I’m sensing clear interest. I do some push-pull stuff and then I start to kind of rub her ***** with my leg as we dance and she’s into it. She can’t hear what i’m saying though and it’s winding me up so I take her outside and as we’re talking I grab her and position myself so my back is leaning against the wall and put her handsome around me. After a while I go for the kiss

I get a text from the girl in the pic saying that she is now in a gay bar down the road and that she has to go home soon sad Shame.

I forget her and carry on with my girl. I’m trying to keep her friend amused and her friend tells me that she’s happy to sleep in the lounge if I wanna bang her friend lol

So I tell my girl to invite me to her house shortly after lol. I’m like ”I’m out of money. Drinks are free at your house! Take me there!!”” She laughs and tells me ‘fine’ and then she pays for a cab for me and her friend to go back to her flat. It’s quite a nice place actually. She’s only like 24.

We all drink on the balcony and then I just lead her into the bedroom and bang her for over an hour.

Stayed with her until midday and then left
 

cheyne

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Not really much of an FR but I was at a wedding this weekend and one of the guests had a beautiful daughter there! Only 19.

Like my 9/10.

I'm not even sure that she was aware how pretty she is, and she was also painfully shy in some respects, to the point that she wouldn't go to the bar to get a drink or ask the wedding/service staff for salt! Social anxiety? However, she was also kind of confident enough to talk and strike up convo with me and a few others whilst we were sitting around and she seemed kind of happy and relaxed, so i'm not sure what the deal is, there tbh! (maybe just a specific type of social anxiety or something)

Anyway, my issue was that I feel my conversation skills are just lacking in terms of making a more emotional impact, maybe? And after I'd asked her a few things about herself I just felt like i'd ran out of things to say. But also, I couldn't find a way to escalate the vibe at all, really

Like I need some little lines and routines in order to accomplish things like spiking her emotions, flirting, showing intent, teasing etc etc

I was at the bar with her and I tried to remember to tease her when the opportunity came up, asked her about her hobbies and how she planned to go travelling and shared some of my own stories etc, but I was never sensing any attraction from her and didn't just want to blurt out that I thought she was cute half way through the convo - I wanted it to be smoother, but I wasn't able to think of a way too achieve this. Seems especially hard when I don't sense any attraction from the girl

I can only seem to do this when i'm getting strong IOI's, in which case, it all just seems to happen fairly effortlessly

Do you have any tips in terms of lines, routines, conversational tricks etc to try to escalate the convo and kind of test the waters in these situations?

Kind of feel her out a bit - I'm wondering if simply bringing up the topic of dating could have helped, in hindsight.

I guess there's also the possibility that I didn't do much wrong and I just wasn't her physical type, and bearing in mind she's not replied to my friend request, I think there's a fair chance that could be the case, although I know I could still improve
 

cheyne

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edit: I've since spoken to her on facebook and I feel better now because I I'm now pretty sure that I never stood a shot with her so I don't feel that 'regret' anymore about not just making a move on her and telling her she's cute, so that's good. Saved myself a rejection. My instincts always seem to be on the money in fairness! On to the next lol

(ps - still interested in replies from the prior post though, for next time)
 

macallik

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Good journal. Reading this reminds me of how little I have cold approached in the last few years. Spending way too much money in the club and consequently battling hangovers smh. Keep up the journal!

Do you have any tips in terms of lines, routines, conversational tricks etc to try to escalate the convo and kind of test the waters in these situations?

Kind of feel her out a bit - I'm wondering if simply bringing up the topic of dating could have helped, in hindsight.
Dating questions can be a good way to steer the convo to test the waters. One that I often use is "Oh you are from <insert town A>? I am from <insert town B>. What is dating like here for ya?"

Another option is to tell stories or talk about more risque topics under the guise of a 'friend'.
"Man I had a friend who got trashed at a wedding. He disappeared for an hour and was the best man and so we were waiting for him to do the toast. We started searching for him and apparently the father in law found him in the broom closet with one of the bridesmaids and he said it was quite an eyeful what they were doing!"

Something random/subtle like that can test the waters without personally crossing the line. If she seems judgmental about the situation, then you can agree with her that the best man was acting crazy (and also realize that she is kind of a prude or just not into you). On the other hand if she is laughing her ass off or maintaining a lot of eye contact during the convo, then that means that at the least she is not a prude. You can then transition to other risque topics with her/yourself potentially.
 
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