"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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36 year old

DJArlington

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if you had feelings for your friend, who was a hot, divorced, 36 year old and you were 30 would go for her? not for temporary but for the long term. only drawback would have to have kids right away. let's assume she'll like you back.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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thedeparted

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so you are gonna commit for the long run before you enjoy the short run?

that is cart before the horse, son. if the pony was hot to trot I'd take it for a ride. if I liked the ride I might return for another. I would leave my wagon at home for the time being, though. I wouldn't even be thinking about building a cabin.

HOWEVER, I think in your case you are likely to get dragged behind this horse by the heels. I avoid single women over 30 b/c of this problem. But divorced, over 35, and baby hungry? Yikes! I wouldn't go near it.
 

jophil28

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DJArlington said:
only drawback would have to have kids right away.
Is that written on her fridge right at #1 in her "laundry List " ?

THe point is this- before you are even involved with this older woman AT ANY LEVEL ,her requirement that you be a father over and above being her husband seems to be paramount.
It is all about her frame, her requirements , her minimum expectations.
You get to pay for this for the next 18 some odd years.

Go to a topless bar with a bud and do a few shots NOW .
 

DJArlington

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no no finding a husband first is her first priority. the reason i haven't gone for her is that i have common sense. 35+ divorced, who needs that.
 

jophil28

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DJArlington said:
no no finding a husband first is her first priority. the reason i haven't gone for her is that i have common sense. 35+ divorced, who needs that.
So why did you start this thread if you have written her off ?

THis woman probably wants "replacement husband." She just wants to fill a vacancy.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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DoubleA

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DJArlington said:
if you had feelings for your friend, who was a hot, divorced, 36 year old and you were 30 would go for her? not for temporary but for the long term. only drawback would have to have kids right away. let's assume she'll like you back.
Go For it.
 

azanon

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Today, I socialized with an incredibly hot and sexy ~ 34 year old. Very muscular, excellent fitness level, beautiful face and eyes, and smart. If she was as hot as this girl I speak of, I would be all over her. Then again, I'm 36 myself so I dunno, who are we to judge.

You don't have to have kids. If she's specifically saying that, then of course run unless you want them too.
 
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