35 and I've Finally Hit Rockbottom in Dating

Spaz

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Your problem is glaringly obvious you only do online dating, a guy like you would do waaay better in social circle gaming or IRL
I recommend traveling a bit you will see in i.e. Thailand, Japan, Russia etc
Your options are different even if use the app's

Than i would hit get in shape and while doing so hit the field in your area
I wouldn't recommend Thailand, its a cesspit of dirt poor (diseased) girls plying their wares - where most tourists usually ends up with and then you have those normal mid class/hiso girls there that are absolutely racist when it comes to westerners - unless you're high valued.

Singapore, Manila, Jakarta, Kuala Lumpur and Seoul would be a good place to go for the nightlife.
 
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DEEZEDBRAH

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Thank you all very much to the last few posters. Though all things I've heard before, it's still good to get a bit under my a-- sometimes. Allow me to respond to a few things:

1 - My looks. I am night and day compared to when I was younger. I went from someone who in high school who was a semi pimple faced, clean shaven, got his haircut once every 2 months, ate like crap, not going to the gym, crouched down when he walked, wearing oversized shirts to someone who slowly but surely has now reached the peak of how good he can look IMHO. I have perfected a short stubble beard that allows me to look a TAD more masculine, walk upright, wear nice fitted designer shirts, I work out occasionally, eat better, and take care of myself to a point where I'd even say I'm a bit over the top. For example my skin tone is rather pale naturally and I visit the tanning salon on occasion. I also put hair fibers in my hair to help with the receding hairline. With regards to my weight I have tried all the protein shakes and I've gone through phases of eating 2x more, but I am just very thin by nature. By genetics. It is one thing I have just accepted about how I look. It's really never bothered me either even though I've tried to change it. Trust me when I say I have felt very confident about my looks when I've gone out the last few years.

2- Someone mentioned traveling. I have traveled the world in this last decade. Everywhere from London to Germany to Thailand to even Egypt, etc. It's a passion of mine. It's something that's typically a bit topic on my dates, too. If there was one thing I picked up very fast about international women it's that they too are "night and day" compared to American women. Funny thing though, even on my first Euro trip some 8 years ago, I wasn't surprised at all when I experienced this. I even had a date in Germany with a woman who was so into me that we ended up making out on a park bench for an hour at the end. Good times. It felt so easy. Would never happen in America. But as awful as some American women can be, we really have the awful American men to thank IMO for being creepers and ruining it for us "good guys".

3- Minorities - Allow me to again clarify this. I am NOT against dating them. I'm also not AGAINST marrying them. It's just that I'd prefer white women. No I'm not attracted to blacks but I have been on several dates with some beautiful Asian and Hispanic women. Good dates, too. So please don't get some idea that I've swiped left on every single minority I've ever come across because that is anything but the truth.

4 - "Building my social circle" - This is one area that as I said above, I just don't see how it can be viewed as easy at my age, at 35. I'm not joining a Church group or one of these crossfit gym classes and I'm certainly not going to be the that weird guy who suddenly starts reaching out to random "friends" on facebook asking to do things. While I do believe there is a certain possibility out there with regards to meeting some new people, I think again, the harsh reality is that once you're in your 30's your circle is pretty much your circle for the most part. Again, I'm very open to suggestions.

5- Lastly... Someone mentioned how I need to change this about my game since so many women are disqualifying me. Not sure where you got that idea, though I suppose I should have clarified in my original post that out of the endless women I've met over these 7 years (estimated 130 different women), the truth is I've probably only been LEGITIMATELY interested in about 10 of them I'd say. Out of those 10, I'd estimate, and this is pretty accurate I'd say, have been rejected by half of those, while the others just didn't go the distance. Yes I've been ghosted a couple of times that upset me and one of them was a very sudden harsh blowoff that rocked my world, but seeing as how I know what I bring to the table and I know all that I can offer a girl, I'm not losing any sleep over them at all while looking back. If anything seeing as how confident I am in myself I often look back now and truly believe it was 100%msli their loss for kicking me to the curb. So in conclusion, trust me again when I say I don't need to change much of anything about my "game", bc at the end of the day it's never really been about my game, it's been about the lack of the quality of these women in OLD.

ps to @Pandora . . . . Couldn't agree more about the college thing, though IMO it still doesn't change the fact that these people today can't help but think no degree = no good, even if that means $150,000 in debt that you won't be able to pay off til you’re 45.
Do a rebuild. Rebuild social circle. You can reach out to old friends. Why not? Make new friends.

Your game is a issue. A OG doesn't need OLD. OLD is low hanging fruit, single moms, and cratered SMV. Meanwhile hotter girls are turning 18 everyday.

Hit on baeeeees IRL.

If you don't lift, start. Check Group classes.Tons of women.

Check out a cooking class or learn a new language. You want to mix it up. You want to **** with chaos theory.


Cold approach on tren.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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Your problem is glaringly obvious you only do online dating, a guy like you would do waaay better in social circle gaming or IRL
I recommend traveling a bit you will see in i.e. Thailand, Japan, Russia etc
Your options are different even if use the app's

Than i would hit get in shape and while doing so hit the field in your area
+1

But he argues game isnt his problem lololol. The delusions men tell themselves.

She's never done this. You were her favourite. She never ****s on the 1st date.


Someone needs to tell OP, women can't cat fish you if you hit on her irl lol
 

markfromeurope

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@OP:

Don't get me wrong mate but if you are of average attactiveness (being 5/10) you need to either:
a) read tons of DJ material/books giving perspective on female psychology
b) hit the gym ASAP
c) get your style&lifestyle checked
d) get your self development choices checked

If you have money, you can raise your SMV from 5 to 7.5 in about a year and give yourself a chance for stable LTR with a 6/10 woman which is what you should aim at TBH.

I'm around 8/10 myself and I don't get a lot of attention from women with SMV7 and higher - being able to date even point below your SMV requires work (yes, its work, for comfort look two points below).

So either you accept that you are going to marry fat chick or old chick that won't bear you offspring, I'd suggest you to hit upgrade button ASAP.
 
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LARaiders85

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@OP:

Don't get me wrong mate but if you are of average attactiveness (being 5/10) you need to either:
a) read tons of DJ material/books giving perspective on female psychology
b) hit the gym ASAP
c) get your style&lifestyle checked
d) get your self development choices checked

If you have money, you can raise your SMV from 5 to 7.5 in about a year and give yourself a chance for stable LTR with a 6/10 woman which is what you should aim at TBH.

I'm around 8/10 myself and I don't get a lot of attention from women with SMV7 and higher - being able to date even point below your SMV requires work (yes, its work, for comfort look two points below).

So either you accept that you are going to marry fat chick or old chick that won't bear you offspring, I'd suggest you to hit upgrade button ASAP.
I'd say I'm a 7 and this is pretty true for me
 

stormrider

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Is this another Dave? The op tells us his problems. Shoots down every suggestion. And is hell bent on OLD.

If you can’t even open your mind to entertain the possibilities of all the advice you are given, then perhaps it’s better off you are weeded out.

In the end, we all get what we deserve.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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@OP:

Don't get me wrong mate but if you are of average attactiveness (being 5/10) you need to either:
a) read tons of DJ material/books giving perspective on female psychology
b) hit the gym ASAP
c) get your style&lifestyle checked
d) get your self development choices checked

If you have money, you can raise your SMV from 5 to 7.5 in about a year and give yourself a chance for stable LTR with a 6/10 woman which is what you should aim at TBH.

I'm around 8/10 myself and I don't get a lot of attention from women with SMV7 and higher - being able to date even point below your SMV requires work (yes, its work, for comfort look two points below).

So either you accept that you are going to marry fat chick or old chick that won't bear you offspring, I'd suggest you to hit upgrade button ASAP.
+1
Good post.

Let me add, there's a entire pua reddit archive. There's a absurd amount of game content in the threads and yet the vast majority have never seen a vagina before lololol. Taking action is GOAT STATUS. No dj Bible or pua tactic means **** without action.

It seems retarded to think men pay absurd prices for a boot camp about getting girls. The 99.9999 % know nothing about women. The few people who are getting girls (percentile world wide on the regular) are the nattys that get it. The bloke who won the genetic lottery and or is fairly attractive and has game. Unfortunately, our biology is wired to do just enough to survive and replicate. The public sector is a example. Most people are parasites. Women especially with daddy government and divorce rapey. The guys who are natural usually get ruined later time and time again as they never learned female nature. Like top form SMV 18-23 chick in a girl power culture mistaking attention for being special till the wall lol.

Motivation is important. Op, switch it up. Check rsd free tour. Check inner circle. Learn a language. Take a cooking class. Learn pickup. OLD is phaggotry. Start a biz. Solo travel the whole world. Start lifting. Take up spin or yoga group classes. Tons of baaaaae.

**** with chaos theory. The butterfly effect. **** with What if?
 

Bokanovsky

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1. dont use tinder.

2. meet girls.

3. hope theres a girl who doesnt know how much power internet and tinder gives her. aim for antisocial shy girls
4. Become Amish and date girls who have never heard of the Internet.

Seriously, your odds of meeting a woman under 40 who has never used online dating are basically zero.
 

sexymanman

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man should spread. female and man don't like man who spread seed. they will try to financially ruin him, shame him for being a deadbeat dad.
what is a man to do? stay away from woman? adopt child to gay couple lol seems the pc thing to do now.
 
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Grewd

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I tried OLD for about 2 months before I had enough. This was back when I started dealing with my social anxiety. First one I met didn't go too well, I was awkward as fvck. Second one shortly after was maybe a bit too interested in me, she was hot, but she was crazy so I went ghost on her. Right after the second one I felt my social anxiety being severely reduced. I went to a party, apart from the host (my friend) I didn't know any of the people he invited. I went into it confidently and self-assured that I'll make it work in the moment, so it did. I set my aim for the hottest girl and then with great patience waited for the opportunity to come. I got her, easy. She turned out to not be of any interest to me for LTR, but at that point I realized that getting women IRL is far superior to OLD.

On OLD you can't take full advantage of a charming personality. You can type in the bio, but even if anyone reads it they won't get how you actually are.

On occasion I have attracted with my looks, but I don't stand out that much so they probably have very specific tastes. Most times I attract purely by the way I interact which I take full advantage of. My results on OLD was meh, few good women to begin with on top of not looking like a male model means few hits. I look good enough so I'm not immediately disqualified IRL, I get a chance and that little bit of time is enough to hook them. By that stage they don't care about how I look, they're into who I am. Then I figure out who they are.

It's not as efficient as OLD potentially could be, since you have to take the time to get to attract and then know them instead of skimming through a profile. But really it is more efficient because you will be a lot more likely to meet the types of women who wouldn't go anywhere near OLD, maybe one of those types are one that fits for you.

Basically what I'm saying is, maybe you've been looking in wrong place? Maybe the type of women you want doesn't typically use OLD?
 

Focal core

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@OP:

Don't get me wrong mate but if you are of average attactiveness (being 5/10) you need to either:
a) read tons of DJ material/books giving perspective on female psychology
b) hit the gym ASAP
c) get your style&lifestyle checked
d) get your self development choices checked

If you have money, you can raise your SMV from 5 to 7.5 in about a year and give yourself a chance for stable LTR with a 6/10 woman which is what you should aim at TBH.

I'm around 8/10 myself and I don't get a lot of attention from women with SMV7 and higher - being able to date even point below your SMV requires work (yes, its work, for comfort look two points below).

So either you accept that you are going to marry fat chick or old chick that won't bear you offspring, I'd suggest you to hit upgrade button ASAP.
Mr specialist with 8/10 looks didnt get much attention from 7 and above? What the heck these women wants? From where I came from easily can get them without any much works, it didn't come solely base on my looks, or money, or status at work place.im Just too lazy to be in relationship. And I'm looking for a girl who doest have tomultuos relationship. Just a simple hb 7 above who love herself.
 

markfromeurope

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Mr specialist with 8/10 looks didnt get much attention from 7 and above? What the heck these women wants?
Depends where do you live and who you date/what is 7/10 looks for you and what is 7/10 SMV for you - I live in largest city in my country, I am handsome and I earn good money - 7/10 looks chick for me is ASAP wife material for 90% of guys prolly not to mention I usually date in upper middle social circle mostly - 7/10 woman in SMV (for me) here usually prefers to get a shot at 9/10 SMV guy and will wait few months for it (because she will get it eventually, online dating here works efficiently).

Moreover I'm already in the age where looks doesn't matter as much as money (I'm close to mid-thirties ,I've very decent looks but I don't have as much money as my peers in my social group - I earn a lot but my family was rather low income with intellectual edge and my own social class peers come mostly from middle-to high income background) I'm a bit like 'homo novus' to women from my social class sometimes), Status and Money-chasers know I'm not at the peak of my SMV at this age and they know that I already should be - so I'm getting often discarded.

Moreover women in big cities nowadays have incredible amount of body count on them - when she tells you she had 4 guys but acts like she had 10, trust me, she had at least 15. You are a plate for them not the other way around - at least in my dating pool.

Sure you can settle but it's not the right time for me and I'm not really like that.
 

Focal core

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Depends where do you live and who you date/what is 7/10 looks for you and what is 7/10 SMV for you - I live in largest city in my country, I am handsome and I earn good money - 7/10 looks chick for me is ASAP wife material for 90% of guys prolly not to mention I usually date in upper middle social circle mostly - 7/10 woman in SMV (for me) here usually prefers to get a shot at 9/10 SMV guy and will wait few months for it (because she will get it eventually, online dating here works efficiently).

Moreover I'm already in the age where looks doesn't matter as much as money (I'm close to mid-thirties ,I've very decent looks but I don't have as much money as my peers in my social group - I earn a lot but my family was rather low income with intellectual edge and my own social class peers come mostly from middle-to high income background) I'm a bit like 'homo novus' to women from my social class sometimes), Status and Money-chasers know I'm not at the peak of my SMV at this age and they know that I already should be - so I'm getting often discarded.

Moreover women in big cities nowadays have incredible amount of body count on them - when she tells you she had 4 guys but acts like she had 10, trust me, she had at least 15. You are a plate for them not the other way around - at least in my dating pool.

Sure you can settle but it's not the right time for me and I'm not really like that.
I'm 39 broke as Fvck (it will improved in near time, already had plans for it going on) as a result of my past divorced from true bpd exwife, At this very moment I'm just too busy with myself.. I myself had tons countless of past relationships, 2 of them were bpds.. still I could get a decent girl if I wanted to, most of my options were under 20s.. It isn't about money, looks, its about how you carry yourself, although I'm a good looking guy 6“1, but they can see my passion, see how happy I am for just being alone, they come even I'm not even trying. I guess girls a really good at seeing through you. It just not at my workplace, it's whenever I walk out of the door.

Nahh social circle only help, u need to expands further out of your social circle.
 

markfromeurope

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I'm 39 broke as Fvck (it will improved in near time, already had plans for it going on) as a result of my past divorced from true bpd exwife, At this very moment I'm just too busy with myself.. I myself had tons countless of past relationships, 2 of them were bpds.. still I could get a decent girl if I wanted to, most of my options were under 20s.. It isn't about money, looks, its about how you carry yourself, although I'm a good looking guy 6“1, but they can see my passion, see how happy I am for just being alone, they come even I'm not even trying. I guess girls a really good at seeing through you. It just not at my workplace, it's whenever I walk out of the door.

Nahh social circle only help, u need to expands further out of your social circle.
Well I did change cities not so long ago so my social circle here still suc.k and I'm not really out of my upgrade mode yet (that's why I consider my SMV to be near top at 36 i.e. future not at 30 or 34 which is often quoted as top male SMV).

Btw. 6'1 is a great height to pickup women - being positive as well (personality is incredibly important). Shame you have $ issues. I really hope you will get straight with money. I know how it is.
 
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Focal core

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Well I did change cities not so long ago so my social circle here still suc.k and I'm not really out of my upgrade mode yet (that's why I consider my SMV to be near top at 36 i.e. future not at 30 or 34 which is often quoted as top male SMV).

Btw. 6'1 is a great height to pickup women - being positive as well (personality is incredibly important). Shame you have $ issues. I really hope you will get straight with money. I know how it is.
Nayy it's not a shame living without money.. Lives is up and down such as such, Life throws us curve balls; if you've acquired some inner resources to dodge 'em, catch 'em or throw 'em back, you're doing just fine!

it's a tragic if only you lose yourself.
 

broadstone

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OLD does suck...just approach women in person. Don't give up...

I'm 46, my last 2 relationships were both from in-person approaches. A 38 yr old and a 31 yr old. Have dated multiple others through cold approach. I'm avg looking btw (SMV 6 ish) but in good shape.
 
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