27 and nothing

[david90]

I think chancer's problem is rooted in his brain chemistry. He is sad and depressed because he IS sad and depress. That's who he is. He needs medication and professional therapy.

 

[marketboy]

Chancer:

Are you a virgin?


Well one positive thing I can say without knowing you is that you definitely write well.

 

[chancer357]

Originally posted by marketboy

Are you a virgin?

Yeah, that seems to go along with not ever having been on a date and with girl never wanting anything to do with you...

 

[chancer357]

Originally posted by saki
can we see a picture of you chancer?

I'd rather not. My picture is not good; and I'd rather not have anything here get back to me.

 

[marketboy]

damn Chancer

I would pay for it.

Also, how hung are you?

If you're hung, you have a chance at getting girls.

Measure that ****

 

[chancer357]

Originally posted by marketboy
damn Chancer

I would pay for it.

Thats ridiculous. It would not help me anyways. For one thing, the act of paying for sex would just lower my self-esteem even further. For another, I don't have any sex drive at all really. What bothers me is that I can't meet anyone normally, not that I don't.

Originally posted by marketboy

Also, how hung are you?

If you're hung, you have a chance at getting girls.

Measure that ****

I don't think thats going to help me. If people don't interact with you to begin with, this is not even a factor.

 

[Sexplicite]

They say church women are the top's biggest freaks in bed.....................

 

[SIXPAKGQ]

simp: myth

 

[Jon E]

Any updates Chancer?

 

[chancer357]

No. Nothing has changed

 

[Alpha And Omega]

Chancer maybe you should take a different approach.

Let me tell you a brief story about myself. When I was about 13 my dad used to wear down me self-esteem with religious parenting, and used to hit me when I was just fooling around. I was close to going crazy because everyone denied what was going on in my family, to much to handle. I don't know what kept me sane exactly, I think it was my alcohol and XTC addiction, it came just in time before losing my mind literally.

But now I see that this pain was a gift from God. I am in no way religious, the only thing I belief is that God is Love. That's it, no-one needs a big bible to explain that. Pretty ironic I think. And I want to add, love is not a feeling, love hurts sometimes.

Maybe stop changing to oustide for now, stop destroying your self-esteem with social blunders, I know what that feels like, pointless.

Change your inside, look for the reason for your pain, look for the truth that is being denied. Look for the God inside you, look for his love, look for what he is trying to say with his pain. I know this sounds helluva religious, but it's not.

Search for this book on amazon: The Road Less Travelled - M. Peck

Maybe this will be a piece of the puzzle for you, take care.

 

[chancer357]

The whole reason I am miserable in the first place is because of a lack any kind of relationship with other people. You can not grow emotionally by yourself, reading books in a void.

You just can't.

I've a couple friends that are guys, but there is really not a whole lot we have in common anymore. When we were kids things were different, but now they have expirenced so much more in life than I have or will. They see things differently, have different ways of looking at things. Theres just no real connection anymore.

That makes everything so much more difficult. I would need some girl or something to be a friend or something - I don't know. I just sincerely don't believe a woman would ever find anything about me interesting, what so ever. I've just been passed over time after time after time.

What else am I supposed to believe. I can't tell myself any different when any shred of evidence I have points to the fact someone else was always better. I have spent all my time up until the last few years just doing things for myself - whatever I thought made me happy. But it never made me more attractive to anyone. All it ever did was provide a distraction from the fact that I was not really growing as a person.

People are superficial by nature. No girl has ever looked twice at me given a choice between me and anyone else. I can't overcome that. I'm shy by nature - I can't change that. I have tried and I can't. So there is nothing there for a girl to choose. All they see is some boring ugly guy. Maybe I'm more interesting than some other dude, but how would they ever know that? They would rather talk to the other guy; they make that descision based on looks alone.

Maybe if I met a girl who could prove to me otherwise it would be different. Even then I think I probably would not believe her. Maybe thats dependant. Whatever. I probably would not believe her anyways.

I don't believe in any God. If there were one I would hate him/her anyways. I'm not a spiritual person.

 

[chancer357]

please show us what you look like because maybe we can give you some pointers on looking your best.

I really don't want to post a picture. I'm embarrased by how I look, even if I dress up nice. Just picture the ugliest guy in the room.

 

[Alpha And Omega]

I don't know how to help you along at the moment, there is one thing I do notice.

This threat shows us how many people are willing to truely help and be patient with another person. This by itself is a beatifull thing. Maybe it means nothing for you, but for others it does.

Take care, things change slowly, but they do change.

 

[chancer357]

I'd love for that to be true, but in my case I just don't see what I can do any more

 

[Albion4]

Originally posted by chancer357
I really don't want to post a picture. I'm embarrased by how I look, even if I dress up nice. Just picture the ugliest guy in the room.

I used to think I was the ugliest guy in the room. Then this really nice girl came along and showed me that I WAS the ugliest guy in the room.

Dude, I spent most of my life doing that same thing. Sleep, Work, Eat, Sleep... But I realized one day that I was sick of it. I realized that my High School experience (kids picking on me cause I didn't fit in, etc...) lead to my low self confidence. After searching out a lot of these same kids that I went to school with I noticed something. Most of them were no better then me. Fat, balding, big hips, saggy tits, with nowhere lives. No one was any happier because of what went on in High School, so why should I be any less?

I started reading everything that I could get my hands on and the one thing that always struck me as odd was the fact that WOMEN do NOT put physical beauty at the same level as men. Although it does play a role in female attraction, it's infinatly lower in priority. So, you need to stop assuming that when a woman looks at you she's looking at your physical beauty. What she is looking at is your demeanor; how you stand, how you hold yourself, etc. If you have no confidence in yourself you are not going to stand like a man with confidence and that is the first thing EVERY woman is going to notice.

Now, unless you have a physical deformation (something that takes from the symetrical balance of your body) you should have no problems. If you think a solution is going to come overnight or your going to be as good as the naturals, you are sadly mistaken. I have been working on my problem for nearly ten years now (I worked hard for at least a year or two before I began to see any benefits). I have gradually gotten better with a lot of effort on my part. I am in no way a player but, even though I still think I am an ugly cuss, the way I hold myself has changed. And because of that I get a lot of dates. Hell I even get laid once in a while by women I don't pay upfront for.

-Al

 

[chancer357]

What she is looking at is your demeanor; how you stand, how you hold yourself, etc. If you have no confidence in yourself you are not going to stand like a man with confidence and that is the first thing EVERY woman is going to notice.

Its a catch-22. I feel horrible about myself all of the time. How am I supposed to be confident or even pretend to be? When I try to do stuff socially I fail because of this and everything gets worse.

 

[Albion4]

Originally posted by chancer357
Its a catch-22. I feel horrible about myself all of the time. How am I supposed to be confident or even pretend to be? When I try to do stuff socially I fail because of this and everything gets worse.

You cannot pretend to be confidence, women will catch on to that immediatly.

But, I say bull****. The reason you're like this is because you want to be like this. We all have what it takes to get ourselves out of any hole, it's whether or not we want to put forth the effort that's the real issue.

You fail socially? So freaking what? I was no different then you. It seemed like I was in a downward spiral. It wasn't until I realized that only *I* could do something about it that I was able to start swimming my way out.

So let's ask ourselves this... Why do you feel horrible about yourself?

-Al

 

[chancer357]

I feel bad about myself because I have never had reason to feel any other way. And I have never felt any other way.

What specifically did you do that turned your situation around.

 

[TooColdUlrick]

i believe that i posted on this thread when it first started and said something to the effect, of...

this guy's problems are WAY beyond what anyone here can even attempt to help with

this guy needs professional help. getting chicks is the least of his problems. wearing new clothes isn't going to work. what he looks like on the outside is meaningless, for he considers himself ugly on the inside.

he's not going to get a new, fresh, positive attitude.

this dude needs to hit rock bottom for him to make a significant change. unfortunately, he's all to willing to acheive that goal.

the best help that can be given to chancer357 here, is to encourage him to seek professional help.

my 2 cents again.