"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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20/20 Hindsight

Wilko

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Nope, not another story about oneitis or lousy filtering.

Nah, I just thought it would be fun to look back and laugh at some of the ideas that have fallen in and out of favour on SoSuave over the last ten years (how old is the forum anyway?).

Three strikes: This was huge around 2006 - 2010 from memory. A girl was allowed three major breaches of dating etiquette (flaking, showing up late, disrespect) before you hard-nexted her.... THREE!!! That seems absurdly generous, because it is. Man, the grief you used to catch on the forum for nexting too early!

Every guy needs to learn salsa!: Last seen around 2010? I guess it was well-intentioned and it did have some merits - good ratios, learn how to lead women, etc. But in the end it was a niche activity that went briefly mainstream (the great salsa bubble of the mid 2000s) and now there's a distinct whiff of desperation about it. No genuine interest in dancing? Bah, congruency and authenticity don't matter! (except for the other 99% of the time we're preaching about it).

Entrepreneurship: In 2010 the perfect DJ was a salsa-dancing, independent small-businessman... I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. Is starting and running your own business a noble goal - you betcha. Is it a realistic, or even advisable goal for the majority - nope.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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ubercat

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Heheh great thread. I remember all of these stupidities. Over in Australia the new entrepreneurship cult is startup. Most startups come from people already working in an industry who saw an need not from jerks attending prayer Hall style meetings.
 

devilkingx2

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you don't want to next too early, but taking more abuse than you have to isn't good either

isn't salsa dancing still fun?

what's wrong with entrepreneurship?
 

ubercat

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Nothing wrong with any of the above. If it's right for you. Nexting is a complex topic. I d next very casually on a first date. Six months in I d give chances. You have to train puppies.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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