"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

20/20 Hindsight

Wilko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 13, 2010
Messages
594
Reaction score
134
Nope, not another story about oneitis or lousy filtering.

Nah, I just thought it would be fun to look back and laugh at some of the ideas that have fallen in and out of favour on SoSuave over the last ten years (how old is the forum anyway?).

Three strikes: This was huge around 2006 - 2010 from memory. A girl was allowed three major breaches of dating etiquette (flaking, showing up late, disrespect) before you hard-nexted her.... THREE!!! That seems absurdly generous, because it is. Man, the grief you used to catch on the forum for nexting too early!

Every guy needs to learn salsa!: Last seen around 2010? I guess it was well-intentioned and it did have some merits - good ratios, learn how to lead women, etc. But in the end it was a niche activity that went briefly mainstream (the great salsa bubble of the mid 2000s) and now there's a distinct whiff of desperation about it. No genuine interest in dancing? Bah, congruency and authenticity don't matter! (except for the other 99% of the time we're preaching about it).

Entrepreneurship: In 2010 the perfect DJ was a salsa-dancing, independent small-businessman... I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. Is starting and running your own business a noble goal - you betcha. Is it a realistic, or even advisable goal for the majority - nope.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

ubercat

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 6, 2015
Messages
3,671
Reaction score
2,309
Location
Australia
Heheh great thread. I remember all of these stupidities. Over in Australia the new entrepreneurship cult is startup. Most startups come from people already working in an industry who saw an need not from jerks attending prayer Hall style meetings.
 

devilkingx2

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
4,521
Reaction score
2,229
Location
NYC
you don't want to next too early, but taking more abuse than you have to isn't good either

isn't salsa dancing still fun?

what's wrong with entrepreneurship?
 

ubercat

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 6, 2015
Messages
3,671
Reaction score
2,309
Location
Australia
Nothing wrong with any of the above. If it's right for you. Nexting is a complex topic. I d next very casually on a first date. Six months in I d give chances. You have to train puppies.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Top