I approached several girls this past spring semester (with no luck of course) and got the feeling that close friends viewed me as too desperate. It seemed like they thought I was just some horny nerd who wanted to get laid. I know one of the whole points of doing so many approaches is to get over your fear/awkwardness involving women, but after awhile it just felt like desperation.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
100 Approaches = Coming Off As Too Desperate?
- Thread starter Demystify
- Start date
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
chinwaggler
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 11, 2008
- Messages
- 292
- Reaction score
- 3
maybe it felt like desperation because it wasn't working...?
Snow Plowman
Master Don Juan
It's all how you look at it...
I've stopped going for # and haven't followed up with many chicks, but I still go out and approach almost everyday...talking to an average of 20-50 people a day...
The mindset I'm coming from, as one of my wings coined the term, I'm a social butterfly who is just being social. At the sametime I know I'm out here learning social dynamics.
So when I walk into all girl clothing stores, makeup shops, etc. The reason I'm going there is because I'm learning social dynamics. I know I'm there to meet the girl, but the environment doesn't affect me at all.
Approaching and interacting with people is fun, you being social should be normal. It should never feel like desperation.
I've stopped going for # and haven't followed up with many chicks, but I still go out and approach almost everyday...talking to an average of 20-50 people a day...
The mindset I'm coming from, as one of my wings coined the term, I'm a social butterfly who is just being social. At the sametime I know I'm out here learning social dynamics.
So when I walk into all girl clothing stores, makeup shops, etc. The reason I'm going there is because I'm learning social dynamics. I know I'm there to meet the girl, but the environment doesn't affect me at all.
Approaching and interacting with people is fun, you being social should be normal. It should never feel like desperation.
Who cares what they think? The more approaches you do, the better.
Have you ever been on a cruise? If so, you'll be able to spot the "Jersey guys" instantly. They're the guidos that show up at the pool on the first day and just go chair to chair aggressively hitting on girls. They always get shot down like crazy, but they ALWAYS get hooked up before they make it around the perimeter of the pool.
The key to talking to and approaching to women is volume, volume, volume. Not only do you increase your chances of hooking up the more women you talk to, but the practice makes you better at talking to women!
Have you ever been on a cruise? If so, you'll be able to spot the "Jersey guys" instantly. They're the guidos that show up at the pool on the first day and just go chair to chair aggressively hitting on girls. They always get shot down like crazy, but they ALWAYS get hooked up before they make it around the perimeter of the pool.
The key to talking to and approaching to women is volume, volume, volume. Not only do you increase your chances of hooking up the more women you talk to, but the practice makes you better at talking to women!
oakraiderz2
Master Don Juan
You should probably be concerned about being 0 for 100. You must be f*ckin up if you cant be successful 1% of the time.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Love Ninja
Don Juan
F*cking UP
Please Delete
Please Delete
You gotta ask yourself, are you thinking "Does this girl like me?" or are you thinking "Should I like her?"
I only keep girls I would like to know, hence getting the #, or have chemistry, in which I will also go for the # and follow up. I certainly don't get every girl's # I see, there's no reason to. I only take what I'm interested in.
I only keep girls I would like to know, hence getting the #, or have chemistry, in which I will also go for the # and follow up. I certainly don't get every girl's # I see, there's no reason to. I only take what I'm interested in.
Microphone Fiend
Master Don Juan
As long as you learn from your approaches, you are successful. If you are just hitting your head against the same brick wall however...
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.