I approached several girls this past spring semester (with no luck of course) and got the feeling that close friends viewed me as too desperate. It seemed like they thought I was just some horny nerd who wanted to get laid. I know one of the whole points of doing so many approaches is to get over your fear/awkwardness involving women, but after awhile it just felt like desperation.
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
100 Approaches = Coming Off As Too Desperate?
- Thread starter Demystify
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
chinwaggler
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 11, 2008
- Messages
- 292
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- 3
maybe it felt like desperation because it wasn't working...?
Snow Plowman
Master Don Juan
It's all how you look at it...
I've stopped going for # and haven't followed up with many chicks, but I still go out and approach almost everyday...talking to an average of 20-50 people a day...
The mindset I'm coming from, as one of my wings coined the term, I'm a social butterfly who is just being social. At the sametime I know I'm out here learning social dynamics.
So when I walk into all girl clothing stores, makeup shops, etc. The reason I'm going there is because I'm learning social dynamics. I know I'm there to meet the girl, but the environment doesn't affect me at all.
Approaching and interacting with people is fun, you being social should be normal. It should never feel like desperation.
I've stopped going for # and haven't followed up with many chicks, but I still go out and approach almost everyday...talking to an average of 20-50 people a day...
The mindset I'm coming from, as one of my wings coined the term, I'm a social butterfly who is just being social. At the sametime I know I'm out here learning social dynamics.
So when I walk into all girl clothing stores, makeup shops, etc. The reason I'm going there is because I'm learning social dynamics. I know I'm there to meet the girl, but the environment doesn't affect me at all.
Approaching and interacting with people is fun, you being social should be normal. It should never feel like desperation.
Who cares what they think? The more approaches you do, the better.
Have you ever been on a cruise? If so, you'll be able to spot the "Jersey guys" instantly. They're the guidos that show up at the pool on the first day and just go chair to chair aggressively hitting on girls. They always get shot down like crazy, but they ALWAYS get hooked up before they make it around the perimeter of the pool.
The key to talking to and approaching to women is volume, volume, volume. Not only do you increase your chances of hooking up the more women you talk to, but the practice makes you better at talking to women!
Have you ever been on a cruise? If so, you'll be able to spot the "Jersey guys" instantly. They're the guidos that show up at the pool on the first day and just go chair to chair aggressively hitting on girls. They always get shot down like crazy, but they ALWAYS get hooked up before they make it around the perimeter of the pool.
The key to talking to and approaching to women is volume, volume, volume. Not only do you increase your chances of hooking up the more women you talk to, but the practice makes you better at talking to women!
oakraiderz2
Master Don Juan
You should probably be concerned about being 0 for 100. You must be f*ckin up if you cant be successful 1% of the time.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Love Ninja
Don Juan
F*cking UP
Please Delete
Please Delete
You gotta ask yourself, are you thinking "Does this girl like me?" or are you thinking "Should I like her?"
I only keep girls I would like to know, hence getting the #, or have chemistry, in which I will also go for the # and follow up. I certainly don't get every girl's # I see, there's no reason to. I only take what I'm interested in.
I only keep girls I would like to know, hence getting the #, or have chemistry, in which I will also go for the # and follow up. I certainly don't get every girl's # I see, there's no reason to. I only take what I'm interested in.
Microphone Fiend
Master Don Juan
As long as you learn from your approaches, you are successful. If you are just hitting your head against the same brick wall however...
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.