mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
Right he should a changed that to drink at one of their places and frame it around sex.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
1 week in No Contact and then contact- advice needed
- Thread starter arathorngr
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
arathorngr
Don Juan
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If she wants a relationship again she will not put up at this first post breakup date.
I wont make a big deal out of it if she doesn't.
Of course i will make my advances nevertheless.
After this date communication is key. If she is joyfull and flirty i'm back and we may have a proper chance.
I remind you that she is 36, not a 22 yo looking for just sex. Somewhere in her head there is family, kids etc.
I must prove that i can be a stable loving man not only a sexy one that aroused her with his NC and nonchalance.
Balance is key now and i must think clearly.
Am i wrong?
I wont make a big deal out of it if she doesn't.
Of course i will make my advances nevertheless.
After this date communication is key. If she is joyfull and flirty i'm back and we may have a proper chance.
I remind you that she is 36, not a 22 yo looking for just sex. Somewhere in her head there is family, kids etc.
I must prove that i can be a stable loving man not only a sexy one that aroused her with his NC and nonchalance.
Balance is key now and i must think clearly.
Am i wrong?
arathorngr
Don Juan
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Well, yes. Multiple times
Malcontent
Senior Don Juan
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Maybe it's part of being older and more jaded, but when someone shows me once that they don't value what I offer, we're done. There's no guessing, no hoop jumping.
arathorngr
Don Juan
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Let's see how it goes today. I'm sure that she will do some explaining, even if i don't steer the conversation to what exactly happened.
My intent is to keep it lighthearted and fun, nothing too serious or "pushy".
Of course i will kiss close and try to bed her- friend zone is not accepted.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Just say " was too busy saving the world to answer. What's up?"
If she trys small talk. Ignore her. If she wants to talk serious like fixing things with you, if you want to get back together with her, the ball is now in your court. If you dont the just tell her you have too much going on in your life and you will get back to her....on your schedule....if you have time.
arathorngr
Don Juan
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UPDATE
Last night we had our first post breakup date. She was a bit nervous, but in a couple of minutes she became the woman i used to remember, when all things were good between us.
We had a few beers, we laughed, we kissed. Heavy kino, we both became rather sexual.
I chose not to be indifferent, i clearly showed to her that i like her as a woman but i also listened about her daily routines, her problems, etc. etc. Not anything heavy, I did not steer the conversation to "us", but she kept mentioning things we did together in the past and things that she would like to do again.
She was on her period (it's not a lie), sex was not an option that day. I don't mind, i can wait some days.
We parted in a very good mood, she told me to call her to meet again whenever i want to. "Next time it will be at my place and you will come", I said. She agreed saying "of course i will"
Today she sent me a goodmorning text, i replied in the same manner.
Ball is in my court now, I guess. I will keep things light and simple and see how it goes.
She knows that she has no option to flake again.
What do you think?
Last night we had our first post breakup date. She was a bit nervous, but in a couple of minutes she became the woman i used to remember, when all things were good between us.
We had a few beers, we laughed, we kissed. Heavy kino, we both became rather sexual.
I chose not to be indifferent, i clearly showed to her that i like her as a woman but i also listened about her daily routines, her problems, etc. etc. Not anything heavy, I did not steer the conversation to "us", but she kept mentioning things we did together in the past and things that she would like to do again.
She was on her period (it's not a lie), sex was not an option that day. I don't mind, i can wait some days.
We parted in a very good mood, she told me to call her to meet again whenever i want to. "Next time it will be at my place and you will come", I said. She agreed saying "of course i will"
Today she sent me a goodmorning text, i replied in the same manner.
Ball is in my court now, I guess. I will keep things light and simple and see how it goes.
She knows that she has no option to flake again.
What do you think?
arathorngr
Don Juan
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Read my last post. We went out yesterday.
arathorngr
Don Juan
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So you disagree with the way i handled the whole situation?
arathorngr
Don Juan
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Talked again. Date set for today, my place for drinks and -of course- sex.
Managed to turn around this one, for now.
FWB status seems pretty feasible, don't know about LTR or stability yet. She'll have to make me trust her again.
Managed to turn around this one, for now.
FWB status seems pretty feasible, don't know about LTR or stability yet. She'll have to make me trust her again.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.