mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
Right he should a changed that to drink at one of their places and frame it around sex.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
1 week in No Contact and then contact- advice needed
- Thread starter arathorngr
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
arathorngr
Don Juan
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If she wants a relationship again she will not put up at this first post breakup date.
I wont make a big deal out of it if she doesn't.
Of course i will make my advances nevertheless.
After this date communication is key. If she is joyfull and flirty i'm back and we may have a proper chance.
I remind you that she is 36, not a 22 yo looking for just sex. Somewhere in her head there is family, kids etc.
I must prove that i can be a stable loving man not only a sexy one that aroused her with his NC and nonchalance.
Balance is key now and i must think clearly.
Am i wrong?
I wont make a big deal out of it if she doesn't.
Of course i will make my advances nevertheless.
After this date communication is key. If she is joyfull and flirty i'm back and we may have a proper chance.
I remind you that she is 36, not a 22 yo looking for just sex. Somewhere in her head there is family, kids etc.
I must prove that i can be a stable loving man not only a sexy one that aroused her with his NC and nonchalance.
Balance is key now and i must think clearly.
Am i wrong?
arathorngr
Don Juan
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Well, yes. Multiple times
Malcontent
Senior Don Juan
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Maybe it's part of being older and more jaded, but when someone shows me once that they don't value what I offer, we're done. There's no guessing, no hoop jumping.
arathorngr
Don Juan
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Let's see how it goes today. I'm sure that she will do some explaining, even if i don't steer the conversation to what exactly happened.
My intent is to keep it lighthearted and fun, nothing too serious or "pushy".
Of course i will kiss close and try to bed her- friend zone is not accepted.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Just say " was too busy saving the world to answer. What's up?"
If she trys small talk. Ignore her. If she wants to talk serious like fixing things with you, if you want to get back together with her, the ball is now in your court. If you dont the just tell her you have too much going on in your life and you will get back to her....on your schedule....if you have time.
arathorngr
Don Juan
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UPDATE
Last night we had our first post breakup date. She was a bit nervous, but in a couple of minutes she became the woman i used to remember, when all things were good between us.
We had a few beers, we laughed, we kissed. Heavy kino, we both became rather sexual.
I chose not to be indifferent, i clearly showed to her that i like her as a woman but i also listened about her daily routines, her problems, etc. etc. Not anything heavy, I did not steer the conversation to "us", but she kept mentioning things we did together in the past and things that she would like to do again.
She was on her period (it's not a lie), sex was not an option that day. I don't mind, i can wait some days.
We parted in a very good mood, she told me to call her to meet again whenever i want to. "Next time it will be at my place and you will come", I said. She agreed saying "of course i will"
Today she sent me a goodmorning text, i replied in the same manner.
Ball is in my court now, I guess. I will keep things light and simple and see how it goes.
She knows that she has no option to flake again.
What do you think?
Last night we had our first post breakup date. She was a bit nervous, but in a couple of minutes she became the woman i used to remember, when all things were good between us.
We had a few beers, we laughed, we kissed. Heavy kino, we both became rather sexual.
I chose not to be indifferent, i clearly showed to her that i like her as a woman but i also listened about her daily routines, her problems, etc. etc. Not anything heavy, I did not steer the conversation to "us", but she kept mentioning things we did together in the past and things that she would like to do again.
She was on her period (it's not a lie), sex was not an option that day. I don't mind, i can wait some days.
We parted in a very good mood, she told me to call her to meet again whenever i want to. "Next time it will be at my place and you will come", I said. She agreed saying "of course i will"
Today she sent me a goodmorning text, i replied in the same manner.
Ball is in my court now, I guess. I will keep things light and simple and see how it goes.
She knows that she has no option to flake again.
What do you think?
arathorngr
Don Juan
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Read my last post. We went out yesterday.
arathorngr
Don Juan
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So you disagree with the way i handled the whole situation?
arathorngr
Don Juan
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Talked again. Date set for today, my place for drinks and -of course- sex.
Managed to turn around this one, for now.
FWB status seems pretty feasible, don't know about LTR or stability yet. She'll have to make me trust her again.
Managed to turn around this one, for now.
FWB status seems pretty feasible, don't know about LTR or stability yet. She'll have to make me trust her again.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.