« i want to see you but not all night, only 1-2 hours »

[AhGonlum]

So for context, I go out with this chick for over a month now. She is a pretty little influencer +20k ig, being asked to go out by 200k guys. By the way she is showing me some dms trying to make me jealous ???

In the opposite side I have only 40 instagram followers account. We have met on tinder.
Some weeks we saw each other once, was up to 3 last week. She cooks me dinner, order me food, met her friends, booked an hotel room and trip for both of us end of November. She calls me sometimes.
I have sleptover at her house quite often. And sometimes she asks me to see me just « 1-2hours » which I find pretty funny. So instead tonight I will see another lay I will sleep with all night

 

[AhGonlum]

Looking at her reaction, she might be mad..

I said it’s funny cause last time she said that, she asked me to sleepover at her place after sex

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I'll take things that never happened for 1000 Alex

 

[AhGonlum]

I'll take things that never happened for 1000 Alex

Stop trolling me moderator. I ask for genuine advice and opinion from you guys

 

[Bokanovsky]

What is the point of this thread? Do you have a question?

 

[AhGonlum]

What is the point of this thread? Do you have a question?

My question is : Why everytime she proposes to see me, she just says « not all the night, only 1-2 hours » even if sometime she asks me to sleepover after sex

 

[Barrister]

My question is : Why everytime she proposes to see me, she just says « not all the night, only 1-2 hours » even if sometime she asks me to sleepover after sex

Here is why -- because she probably plans to see some other dude either later or earlier in the night. Also, why make the comment "Funny you only want to see me 1-2 hours"? You sound butthurt and you just hurt yourself with continuing to see her by showing a chink in your armor. When a woman shows a sign of low interest, you always agree and amplify: "Sorry gorgeous, I can't see you at all that night. I have *blank* going on and simply can't make it work. How about next week?"

Frankly, she may be hot but I would steer clear of these influencer type women. They are a special breed of woman who needs constant validation from multiple male sources. You aren't going to be able to repress that urge she has, and if you are trying to lock her down you are just going to experience frustration. You clearly like this chick more than you should since you made a post about it.

 

[BPH]

My question is : Why everytime she proposes to see me, she just says « not all the night, only 1-2 hours » even if sometime she asks me to sleepover after sex

I disagree with @Barrister on this one. I don't think she's seeing other guys before/after you.

My guess is because of this:

I have sleptover at her house quite often.

She probably doesn't want her entire night to end as soon as you come over. Since you've been seeing her a few times, and she keeps inviting you, she probably enjoys your company, but also realizes you're not looking for something serious with her. Therefore, she wants to do other things with her night that don't involve making sure you have a good time the entire night into the morning.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

My question is : Why everytime she proposes to see me, she just says « not all the night, only 1-2 hours » even if sometime she asks me to sleepover after sex

Someone else will be coming over after you leave.

 

[Barrister]

I disagree with @Barrister on this one. I don't think she's seeing other guys before/after you.

My guess is because of this:



She probably doesn't want her entire night to end as soon as you come over. Since you've been seeing her a few times, and she keeps inviting you, she probably enjoys your company, but also realizes you're not looking for something serious with her. Therefore, she wants to do other things with her night that don't involve making sure you have a good time the entire night into the morning.

The 1-2 hour comment is a low interest comment. It is a mistake to assume there aren't other men in the picture, especially given her social network status and need for validation. OP can assume something innocuous at his own peril.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I disagree with @Barrister on this one. I don't think she's seeing other guys before/after you.

My guess is because of this:



She probably doesn't want her entire night to end as soon as you come over. Since you've been seeing her a few times, and she keeps inviting you, she probably enjoys your company, but also realizes you're not looking for something serious with her. Therefore, she wants to do other things with her night that don't involve making sure you have a good time the entire night into the morning.

Based on how he is acting, I would be surprised if she wasn't. She already knows this guy isn't the answer long term. Insecure, weak and unsure of himself is not attractive long-term no matter how much she may like him to start with.

 

[BPH]

The 1-2 hour comment is a low interest comment. It is a mistake to assume there aren't other men in the picture, especially given her social network status and need for validation. OP can assume something innocuous at his own peril.

Based on how he is acting, I would be surprised if she wasn't. She already knows this guy isn't the answer long term. Insecure, weak and unsure of himself is not attractive long-term no matter how much she may like him to start with.

Just because an attractive woman CAN be a wh*re, doesn't mean she is acting as one. Seeking validation in the form of male attention online does not correlate with banging those men.

According to @AhGonlum this girl is trying to make him jealous by showing him the other men who want her, likely to try to prove to him that she's a catch, which I assume she is doing because he is correctly not being bothered or impressed by it (at least outwardly).

He also says this girl cooks for him, orders him dinner, has introduced her friends to him, and planned a trip for them both at the end of the month. In the OP screenshot, she went and triple-texted him after not getting a response for only an hour.

Beyond that, he clearly has options, because as he mentioned in the OP, he decided to sleep with someone else instead.

I think OP is only doing 2 things wrong here:

1. Being passive-aggressive with a woman with whom he has a pretty good FWB situation
2. Consistently spending the night and subsisting off of her to the point where she's pre-emptively establishing a cutoff for how long they'll spend together

EDIT: Assuming this is a real conversation and situation, of course.

 

[AhGonlum]

Just because an attractive woman CAN be a wh*re, doesn't mean she is acting as one. Seeking validation in the form of male attention online does not correlate with banging those men.

According to @AhGonlum this girl is trying to make him jealous by showing him the other men who want her, likely to try to prove to him that she's a catch, which I assume she is doing because he is correctly not being bothered or impressed by it (at least outwardly).

He also says this girl cooks for him, orders him dinner, has introduced her friends to him, and planned a trip for them both at the end of the month. In the OP screenshot, she went and triple-texted him after not getting a response for only an hour.

Beyond that, he clearly has options, because as he mentioned in the OP, he decided to sleep with someone else instead.

I think OP is only doing 2 things wrong here:

1. Being passive-aggressive with a woman with whom he has a pretty good FWB situation
2. Consistently spending the night and subsisting off of her to the point where she's pre-emptively establishing a cutoff for how long they'll spend together

EDIT: Assuming this is a real conversation and situation, of course.

Your comment is the closest to reality to be honest.
What you mean by the first mistake ? She is my level of look and I would like her as LTR not gonna lie.
Yeah I agree for the second mistake, I try to avoid spending night with her but it is so nice to sleep with someone in his arm ngl

 

[BPH]

Your comment is the closest to reality to be honest.
What you mean by the first mistake ? She is my level of look and I would like her as LTR not gonna lie.
Yeah I agree for the second mistake, I try to avoid spending night with her but it is so nice to sleep with someone in his arm ngl

Well then, either you have not done a good job communicating that you want something more serious (dates, instead of just going over to her place to bang)...

Or SHE isn't looking for anything serious right now. But the fact that she's planned a trip with you shows a higher level of commitment than I'd assume she would show somebody who she was just using as a d*ck to ride. But my ex was similar and planned a whole bunch of things that never happened, so we'll see if she backs up her words with actions.

But yeah, if you want something more serious, show it. Don't be passive-aggressive over text if she's not doing things how you want. That behavior likely is a reaction to YOUR actions, in some way.

 

[AhGonlum]

I mean 2 weeks ago she proposed me a trip for the week end. Just before booking stuff, she said she was not sure going there since we know each other just for a month. But now she has booked everything so I think she will not cancel.
We are not communicating a lot by text, she is always starting it. She asked me to go out and do dates rather than just meeting at her place, which is what we do now (muzeum, jazz bar…). Indeed she told me she cannot figure out what I want and I did not said anything about it, just enjoying her presence tbh.


she posted a picture with a man lag in her closest friend story (I am in). I think she is doing that for purpose. I just liked the story and she started justifying herself. Then she called me while at gym, rejected the call and called her back later

 

[AhGonlum]

Isn’t it creepy to say to her I want to date her instead of just ****ing her ?

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Maybe she's just tired OP. People need sleep. Do you snore?

 

[AhGonlum]

Maybe she's just tired OP. People need sleep. Do you snore?

She is snoring with her french bulldog.

last time she told me same « just 1-2h » and ended up asking me to sleepover after sex. She said to me that she was afraid to be seen as too pushy to me

 

[BillyPilgrim]

She said to me that she was afraid to be seen as too pushy to me

For the love of God, the answer was there the whole time. What was the point of this thread?

That being said, this chick has some obvious clinger issues if she feels the need to hide them. If you end up with this chick there's a chance for co-dependency, which sucks for you, her, and most likely the board here at sosuave.

I predict this will be the first of many posts about this drama queen, for better or worse.

Edit - just read the part about her trying to make you jealous. If you don't use this chick for sex only, be prepared for a massive headache. I'm starting to get one just reading about it.

If you get involved any further with this chick, all of your life goals will be compromised to some degree by her bullsh1t eating away at your life force.

 

[Barrister]

Isn’t it creepy to say to her I want to date her instead of just ****ing her ?

You don't say this to her/ask her to be your girlfriend. Not sure why you are getting that advice.

Women are the gatekeepers of sex. Men are the gatekeepers of relationships. You let HER come to YOU and let you know she wants a relationship. Women never come out and say this per se. They will start off with a "So what are we?" or some variant of it. Not only will you make her dry up by handing her all the power by asking her to be your girlfriend, you also don't know her investment in you by doing that.

Call me jaded -- I am not at all convinced this girl is nearly as into you as you or BPH seem to think. I have seen this play out a number of times where a man goes from being love bombed to being shut out. This girl should be for fun only. Enjoy your time on the ride and know it comes to a close (probably sooner than later).