You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
That link doesn't workWanderingMan said:Other than L/M/S, it basically comes down to one thing.
It's been said already in this thread in a round about way: get her to start qualifying herself to you.
Instead of you trying to impress her, get her to start trying to impress you - switch places with her on the pedestal.
Many ways to go about doing this - the tease - the neg - the just not giving a fvck - the not returning her calls or texts - the flaking on her - etc.
It's a shift of attitude. What's in it for you? So what if she's hot? Those chicks are a dime a dozen, what else does she have to offer?
This type of behavior - thought process - will create a you first - win/win mentality - attitude. Which will naturally create attraction when dealing with women.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
What about your brain? I know "good looks" generate an initial attraction, but once you start opening your mouth and talking...teebear said:Good looks seems to matter more than anything else.