Instagram dm game advice

[steeringclear]

 

[steeringclear]

After the “I knew I was gonna do…” message she just liked it. Ik I’m already in with this girl just on the way we know each other and what she was saying, but worth double texting here? Wait for another story to reply to? Let her text me or leave it if not?

 

[Bingo-Player]

It started off Ok but you took the bone and ran too far with it.

The red flag stuff is negative idk why you kept going back to it

She gave somewhat of an opening to turn it a bit more sexual / flirty when she said " would be fun to torture you"

You replied with

" please be gentle with me "

This is not exactly portraying confident in control energy is it

A better response would have been something like

"sounds like you'd take pleasure in torturing me"

Or " do you always want to torture guys you like "

The conversation started to waffle after that and she got bored , which is why the conversation ended

The messages read like this chick knows she has you where she wants you , I'd go ghost for at least 2-3 months only communicate if you see her in person.

 

[steeringclear]

It started off Ok but you took the bone and ran too far with it.

The red flag stuff is negative idk why you kept going back to it

She gave somewhat of an opening to turn it a bit more sexual / flirty when she said " would be fun to torture you"

You replied with

" please be gentle with me "

This is not exactly portraying confident in control energy is it

A better response would have been something like

"sounds like you'd take pleasure in torturing me"

Or " do you always want to torture guys you like "

The conversation started to waffle after that and she got bored , which is why the conversation ended

The messages read like this chick knows she has you where she wants you , I'd go ghost for at least 2-3 months only communicate if you see her in person.

extremely valid stuff. No clue why I went the gentle route. We only have known of each for years (same city, middle school, highschool, uni) but have never talked until right now. The mention about seeing me at the gym was like a few years ago. You don’t think it would be worth just messaging her back asking her for drinks this week?

 

[Bingo-Player]

extremely valid stuff. No clue why I went the gentle route. We only have known of each for years (same city, middle school, highschool, uni) but have never talked until right now. The mention about seeing me at the gym was like a few years ago. You don’t think it would be worth just messaging her back asking her for drinks this week?

Its very easy to get over excited on text game and say something stupid , probably even more so than you would IRL

I remember few years opening this absolute baddie at my gym getting her insta , waiting all day to message her then sending her the most dumbest corny sh1t you could imagine

she actually responded to a lot of it so must have been fairly high interest

But like your chick she got bored and from there the digital communication got harder and harder , IRL stuff strangely was still fine we actually ended up having a couple of gym sessions together

Wait until you see her IRL then ask her out

 

[BPH]

First piece of advice would be not to open via Instagram DMS...it almost never works unless you have some real-world contact. And even then, just get a phone number.

Second, there is no interest here, as shown by her immediate response to buy a ticket to her class. Everything else is her being polite enough not to fully close the door on that being a possibility. It also doesn't help that you came on SUPER strong by suggesting a "private lesson" to somebody you likely don't know personally.

If this girl goes to your gym, you should've approached her and taken her number down.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Second, there is no interest here, as shown by her immediate response to buy a ticket to her class. Everything else is her being polite enough not to fully close the door on that being a possibility. It also doesn't help that you came on SUPER strong by suggesting a "private lesson" to somebody you likely don't know personally.

There is interest as she's playing along " would be fun to torture you in a class " isn't being polite it's investing in the conversation its not something you would say in small talk lol

OP's responses were poor and the chick knows she holds all the cards that is the problem theres zero tension or flirting

 

[BPH]

There is interest as she's playing along " would be fun to torture you in a class " isn't being polite it's investing in the conversation its not something you would say in small talk lol

She's trying to steer him towards buying a ticket by flirting, since he's already shown his intention with the "private lesson" remark, which she completely disregarded with just an emoji.

It's like a bartender at Hooter's getting you to buy more drinks by saying, "You look like you can handle your liquor".

 

[steeringclear]

First piece of advice would be not to open via Instagram DMS...it almost never works unless you have some real-world contact. And even then, just get a phone number.

Second, there is no interest here, as shown by her immediate response to buy a ticket to her class. Everything else is her being polite enough not to fully close the door on that being a possibility. It also doesn't help that you came on SUPER strong by suggesting a "private lesson" to somebody you likely don't know personally.

If this girl goes to your gym, you should've approached her and taken her number down.

eh ig dms has worked plenty well. I also think the ticket buying thing was a **** test because she knows im a muscular dude and not someone who would actually do Pilates. Probs more so testing if I would just comply or not. I think I had it but probably ****ed up later in the conversation.

Will probably message in a few days to go for drinks as we know of each other but i will never see her in person as she doesn’t go to gym anymore.

 

[Cheeky_James]

@steeringclear
i was reading the exchange the wrong way around.
LOL

 

[BPH]

I disagree with these other guys, but feel free to keep trying and prove me wrong.

This reads like somebody entertaining a stranger they're not interested in by presenting them with the minimum amount of politeness to not potentially anger them.

She's sending emojis, using a "reaction" instead of responding, and generally giving short answers to OP's double messages.

 

[BaronOfHair]

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You could've responded to "I don't want to embarrass the pilates community" with words to the effect of

"You worry needlessly... If anyone so much as giggles while you wiggle that srumptious rear end of yours on the mat, I'll supply you with their home address, an axe, plus pick their front door's lock on your behalf. All you'll have to do then? Wield that axe so badassly, Lizzie Borden seems unmemmorable afterwards"

She'd have replied: "Lol", and you could've ended the conversation with a sentence such as: "I'll see you at class"

 

[steeringclear]

I disagree with these other guys, but feel free to keep trying and prove me wrong.

This reads like somebody entertaining a stranger they're not interested in by presenting them with the minimum amount of politeness to not potentially anger them.

She's sending emojis, using a "reaction" instead of responding, and generally giving short answers to OP's double messages.

I mean I’ve definitely been around enough to know the difference between entertaining me and flirting with me. More so wanted to know how I should get back in there, either replying back to a story or just send another text.

Will send picture update of us at bar getting drinks

 

[Cheeky_James]

Make a bigger play over text dude,

Check out what Chads say to chicks.
say something in a similar vein to this but Just dial it down a notch or two
This is a comment on a ChadFish experiment video,

 

[steeringclear]

Do not say anything / like her stories for at least a couple of days

ideally you talk with her first at the gym, and act like nothing has happened

That “ please be gentle “ would have worked just fine if you would have been boyfriend and girlfriend, but as a guy quite early in the courtship sounded submisive and showed way too much interest

if you continue from here to write soon, you will start chasing her and that plummets your attractiveness big time. Basically you will shoot yourself in the foot

I don’t see her at the gym, I haven’t seen her in person for 3 years maybe. You don’t think it’s worth waiting a few days and then shooting a “what are you doing this weekend” text. I feel like if she answers then it was worth it and if she doesn’t then I know she wasn’t interested and will never reach back out

 

[Cheeky_James]

I’ll follow this on as I’m in a mental flow.
I’m 45 , with 150+ lays at my age . And lots of LTRs guys. The older I get the more I realise how women behave around super hot men is a big giveaway about how they really are and also (the good news ) about how easy it really can be

the more I realise now , that this idea a lot of us still have of this stuff we think women need

“I need comfort ,trust , connection, sense of humour etc etc”
is really just a smokescreen. It’s bullsh1t.

why do they say this?
They say this because it buys them time to gain trust and really quiz a guy.
Find out the truth.. about all his resources.
All he has to offer her.
in order to likely screen him OUT. Not screen him IN. Get that?

So what does that mean?
It’s means any guy that falls for that idea of what women “need” and follows that road tells her he’s a NiceGuy. A dummy. He fell for the female con.

I heard a line from my oldest brother when I was a young teen.
“Women are like mushrooms.. keep them in the dark and feed them full of bullsh1t”

And also “ treat them mean, keep them keen”

The 2nd motto is misunderstood.

it just means give them nothing. Don’t blow your cover. Don’t fall into their smokescreen of BS above re comfort trust connection yada yada

they don’t need all that bullsh1t to spread their legs guys. They really don’t.

A lot of the Gamey stuff we talk about here is redundant tbh.

It’s understanding the above and making big assertive plays that cut through the above. And frame control to win out her pushback re being assertive with her.

my manifesto

 

[Cheeky_James]

well, what I can tell you is that if you go too much on sexual tension without touching the rapport building you will end up with LMR, that if you can manage to pull her to your place

you need more sexual tension, that is true, but you also need decent ratio of rapport building

not even prost1tutes liked to be treat as such, very unlikely a girl will just sleep with you just because you build a lot of sexual tension and little to no rapport . Unless maybe she is a hoe or has mental issues, or things along this line

Also from my experience, when a girl makes things too easy, usually something is up and very likely you will not convert the opportunity. Especially if it is not night game

I have to ask you.. why do you think that - that a woman ‘needs’ rapport to have sex with man?
Exactly why do you think that?
Like where did you get that idea in the first place, that she ‘needs’ that…


I had to google Rapport to be sure I undertand it

If Rapport =‘ a close, harmonious relationship between people characterized by mutual trust, understanding, and smooth communication,’

then no, not really. What’s usually needed is her to be comfortable that she is going to be physically safe, mainly.

But women will take a bet on that, if the sexual tension and chemistry is “mad sparks /off the scale/omg he’s sexy AF/ I’m wetAF” it’ll be a quick exchange and all the guy needs to say is “I’m safe babe don’t worry” . If he can address it, That will do.

there can be a big thrill for women when the safety element is in question actually . Thrills and risk talking. Etc
not across the board all women , but it’s definitely a thing. It’s underrated and underused that concept imo.

dude, prositutes run the same game as regular women- to try get rapport with the John to get him to ‘open up’. Trust me on that one. lol.

 

[Divorced w 3]

You're simping hard on this girl. Never attend something she is doing just because she is doing it. Think about why for a moment - you don't have that interest so what would be the only reason you'd go? Even if you don't have anything else to do, have better respect for your time. As far as the dialogue around this error - 'embarrass yourself / I need training wheels / my cardio's bad' Could you give her a bigger indication that you have no ability in the sack? And then parroting the red flag stuff multiple times back to her? Come on bud. Have some confidence. You're like a puppy with his tongue out following her down the street. As was mentioned earlier, she's just trying to bait you to buy her class here. Take a step back from this one. You shotgun sprayed all sorts of stuff at her in this text. I'm not sure what angle you're going to come back to her with but I would let her ping you next. If she does hit you up, come here before you say anything else to her, we would be glad to spitball it with you.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Texting 101: text with a purpose.

Not sure what the purpose of this conversation was, aside from you wanting a pen pal and her wanting you to buy a ticket to her class.

Text her again next Tuesday and hope the opportunity hasn't slipped through your fingertips and that she isn't being entertained by another dude who beat you to the race. I can only assume the ball is in her court now, so there's not much you can do.

 

[Cheeky_James]

Because in the past I would go full speed on sexual tension and in the vast majority of cases it would just blow into my face and usually not see her again, despite knowing for a fact that she is attracted to me deeply

when I started adding rapport building, then things improved drastically

a woman can easily be super horny and still not sleep with you if she does not feel safe ( emotionally and physically ) , unless she is dtf ( but this usually happens to reasons outside of you )

women naturally just gate keep sex way more than guys, because the natural reflexes is that sex can lead to pregnancy

LOL at that last part - not since the 1960s dude.
They are aware of the risks of sex , but they also go out and party and drink alcohol Yknow?

(I rarely see alcohol spoken about on this forum btw that’s so weird to me)

Dude , physically . Physically only mainly, tbh.

Go back up and read the reddit excerpt impost and the stories of the Chad guys pickups.

Plus I’ve heard stories from a user here that has 2 Chad friends. They pull so easily. And I’ve seen guys pull easily IRL.

most of the chat in a pickup is just “fluff” tbh.
Just funny bull**** banter, deflecting, reframing. messing around etc etc
I guess that’s in line with safety. And a dash of fun

don’t think it’s emotional safety tho ?
Btw what is even IS ‘emotional safety’ ..idk.

I just use body language , kino stuff to continually touch her softly, it’s like I’m saying “it’s ok, it’s ok, I’m safe , relax . relax”, but I’m doing it with my hands .

My mouth is just talking bullsh1t or being assertive for what I want and moving things along.

really pickup is just the moving things along, the escalating. I learned to dump the “genuine connection” stuff long ago, it absolutely is NOT needed for a one night stand. As it confuses the chick,