steeringclear
Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 16, 2024
- Messages
- 27
- Reaction score
- 15
- Age
- 24
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
extremely valid stuff. No clue why I went the gentle route. We only have known of each for years (same city, middle school, highschool, uni) but have never talked until right now. The mention about seeing me at the gym was like a few years ago. You don’t think it would be worth just messaging her back asking her for drinks this week?It started off Ok but you took the bone and ran too far with it.
The red flag stuff is negative idk why you kept going back to it
She gave somewhat of an opening to turn it a bit more sexual / flirty when she said " would be fun to torture you"
You replied with
" please be gentle with me "
This is not exactly portraying confident in control energy is it
A better response would have been something like
"sounds like you'd take pleasure in torturing me"
Or " do you always want to torture guys you like "
The conversation started to waffle after that and she got bored , which is why the conversation ended
The messages read like this chick knows she has you where she wants you , I'd go ghost for at least 2-3 months only communicate if you see her in person.
Its very easy to get over excited on text game and say something stupid , probably even more so than you would IRLextremely valid stuff. No clue why I went the gentle route. We only have known of each for years (same city, middle school, highschool, uni) but have never talked until right now. The mention about seeing me at the gym was like a few years ago. You don’t think it would be worth just messaging her back asking her for drinks this week?
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
There is interest as she's playing along " would be fun to torture you in a class " isn't being polite it's investing in the conversation its not something you would say in small talk lolSecond, there is no interest here, as shown by her immediate response to buy a ticket to her class. Everything else is her being polite enough not to fully close the door on that being a possibility. It also doesn't help that you came on SUPER strong by suggesting a "private lesson" to somebody you likely don't know personally.
She's trying to steer him towards buying a ticket by flirting, since he's already shown his intention with the "private lesson" remark, which she completely disregarded with just an emoji.There is interest as she's playing along " would be fun to torture you in a class " isn't being polite it's investing in the conversation its not something you would say in small talk lol
eh ig dms has worked plenty well. I also think the ticket buying thing was a **** test because she knows im a muscular dude and not someone who would actually do Pilates. Probs more so testing if I would just comply or not. I think I had it but probably ****ed up later in the conversation.First piece of advice would be not to open via Instagram DMS...it almost never works unless you have some real-world contact. And even then, just get a phone number.
Second, there is no interest here, as shown by her immediate response to buy a ticket to her class. Everything else is her being polite enough not to fully close the door on that being a possibility. It also doesn't help that you came on SUPER strong by suggesting a "private lesson" to somebody you likely don't know personally.
If this girl goes to your gym, you should've approached her and taken her number down.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
You could've responded to "I don't want to embarrass the pilates community" with words to the effect of