"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Instagram dm game advice

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

steeringclear

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After the “I knew I was gonna do…” message she just liked it. Ik I’m already in with this girl just on the way we know each other and what she was saying, but worth double texting here? Wait for another story to reply to? Let her text me or leave it if not?
 

Bingo-Player

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It started off Ok but you took the bone and ran too far with it.

The red flag stuff is negative idk why you kept going back to it

She gave somewhat of an opening to turn it a bit more sexual / flirty when she said " would be fun to torture you"

You replied with

" please be gentle with me "

This is not exactly portraying confident in control energy is it :rofl:

A better response would have been something like

"sounds like you'd take pleasure in torturing me"

Or " do you always want to torture guys you like "

The conversation started to waffle after that and she got bored , which is why the conversation ended

The messages read like this chick knows she has you where she wants you , I'd go ghost for at least 2-3 months only communicate if you see her in person.
 

steeringclear

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It started off Ok but you took the bone and ran too far with it.

The red flag stuff is negative idk why you kept going back to it

She gave somewhat of an opening to turn it a bit more sexual / flirty when she said " would be fun to torture you"

You replied with

" please be gentle with me "

This is not exactly portraying confident in control energy is it :rofl:

A better response would have been something like

"sounds like you'd take pleasure in torturing me"

Or " do you always want to torture guys you like "

The conversation started to waffle after that and she got bored , which is why the conversation ended

The messages read like this chick knows she has you where she wants you , I'd go ghost for at least 2-3 months only communicate if you see her in person.
extremely valid stuff. No clue why I went the gentle route. We only have known of each for years (same city, middle school, highschool, uni) but have never talked until right now. The mention about seeing me at the gym was like a few years ago. You don’t think it would be worth just messaging her back asking her for drinks this week?
 

Bingo-Player

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extremely valid stuff. No clue why I went the gentle route. We only have known of each for years (same city, middle school, highschool, uni) but have never talked until right now. The mention about seeing me at the gym was like a few years ago. You don’t think it would be worth just messaging her back asking her for drinks this week?
Its very easy to get over excited on text game and say something stupid , probably even more so than you would IRL

I remember few years opening this absolute baddie at my gym getting her insta , waiting all day to message her then sending her the most dumbest corny sh1t you could imagine

she actually responded to a lot of it so must have been fairly high interest

But like your chick she got bored and from there the digital communication got harder and harder , IRL stuff strangely was still fine we actually ended up having a couple of gym sessions together

Wait until you see her IRL then ask her out
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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BPH

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First piece of advice would be not to open via Instagram DMS...it almost never works unless you have some real-world contact. And even then, just get a phone number.

Second, there is no interest here, as shown by her immediate response to buy a ticket to her class. Everything else is her being polite enough not to fully close the door on that being a possibility. It also doesn't help that you came on SUPER strong by suggesting a "private lesson" to somebody you likely don't know personally.

If this girl goes to your gym, you should've approached her and taken her number down.
 

Bingo-Player

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Second, there is no interest here, as shown by her immediate response to buy a ticket to her class. Everything else is her being polite enough not to fully close the door on that being a possibility. It also doesn't help that you came on SUPER strong by suggesting a "private lesson" to somebody you likely don't know personally.
There is interest as she's playing along " would be fun to torture you in a class " isn't being polite it's investing in the conversation its not something you would say in small talk lol

OP's responses were poor and the chick knows she holds all the cards that is the problem theres zero tension or flirting
 

BPH

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There is interest as she's playing along " would be fun to torture you in a class " isn't being polite it's investing in the conversation its not something you would say in small talk lol
She's trying to steer him towards buying a ticket by flirting, since he's already shown his intention with the "private lesson" remark, which she completely disregarded with just an emoji.

It's like a bartender at Hooter's getting you to buy more drinks by saying, "You look like you can handle your liquor".
 

steeringclear

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First piece of advice would be not to open via Instagram DMS...it almost never works unless you have some real-world contact. And even then, just get a phone number.

Second, there is no interest here, as shown by her immediate response to buy a ticket to her class. Everything else is her being polite enough not to fully close the door on that being a possibility. It also doesn't help that you came on SUPER strong by suggesting a "private lesson" to somebody you likely don't know personally.

If this girl goes to your gym, you should've approached her and taken her number down.
eh ig dms has worked plenty well. I also think the ticket buying thing was a **** test because she knows im a muscular dude and not someone who would actually do Pilates. Probs more so testing if I would just comply or not. I think I had it but probably ****ed up later in the conversation.

Will probably message in a few days to go for drinks as we know of each other but i will never see her in person as she doesn’t go to gym anymore.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

BPH

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I disagree with these other guys, but feel free to keep trying and prove me wrong.

This reads like somebody entertaining a stranger they're not interested in by presenting them with the minimum amount of politeness to not potentially anger them.

She's sending emojis, using a "reaction" instead of responding, and generally giving short answers to OP's double messages.
 

BaronOfHair

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You could've responded to "I don't want to embarrass the pilates community" with words to the effect of

"You worry needlessly... If anyone so much as giggles while you wiggle that srumptious rear end of yours on the mat, I'll supply you with their home address, an axe, plus pick their front door's lock on your behalf. All you'll have to do then? Wield that axe so badassly, Lizzie Borden seems unmemmorable afterwards"

She'd have replied: "Lol", and you could've ended the conversation with a sentence such as: "I'll see you at class"
 
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