"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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My USA Vacation Checklist

Travel memoir21

Master Don Juan
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Okay guys I'm going back to America on October 14th to January 5th. Do you guys have any recommendations to how I should spend my time over there? Should I volunteer? should I work part time? Should I hit the bars and cold approach a bunch of latinas there in South Texas? lol. It's been three years since I've driven a car in US Soil so that's definitely something I should do when I get back to South Texas. I want to do a lot of cruising and driving especially on the highways and expressways. I also want to visit that senior Master sergeant I was talking about in San Antonio and catch up with him. My life right now always feels like it's on vacation mode to be honest since I'm an unemployed writer just relying on his military pension, social security and revenue from my parent's hotel to get by. I've acquired a taste for The Tropical stuff lol....that reminds me, I need to visit South Padre Island as well. Yes, here's to a nice visit to Uncle Sam once more.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Hamurabimbi

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Are you planning to stay in the Southern parts of the US to avoid the snow & cold?
 

BackInTheGame78

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That's more like a Texas checklist. The US is a lot bigger than Texas if you haven't gone other places you might want to check some out.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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RoadKing_Rabbit

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Seconded on the motorcycle. Based off of my recollection, I hope the visit with your buddy is a positive one. You COULD hit coastal highway 1, Beartooth pass....
 

BackInTheGame78

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If it were me, I'd rent a motorcycle for those road trips. The weather should be great, not so hot that it makes the helmet and gear uncomfortable.
Never...unless you want to end up as a statistic. Motorists pay no attention to motorcycles and them versus a car is an automatic L for them.
 

Bible_Belt

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Never...unless you want to end up as a statistic. Motorists pay no attention to motorcycles and them versus a car is an automatic L for them.
Speaking of statistics, there are four factors that make up about 90% of fatal motorcycle accidents: excessive speed, alcohol, lack of a helmet, and lack of a valid motorcycle license. So avoiding those circumstances goes a long way toward not dying.
 

RoadKing_Rabbit

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Speaking of statistics, there are four factors that make up about 90% of fatal motorcycle accidents: excessive speed, alcohol, lack of a helmet, and lack of a valid motorcycle license. So avoiding those circumstances goes a long way toward not dying.
That, and since when does statistics determine one's inact- I mean ACTIONS?

*EDIT* I'm also a statistics nerd of sorts despite the candor of what I wrote.
 

BaronOfHair

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should I work part time?
If you're open to being a substitute babysitter at an elementary school, who throws on Kevlar + Totes an M-16 into class each morning... Absolutely!!!

The Lone Star State's zeal for an encore of Uvalde https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uvalde_school_shooting is more non-existent than Dakota Johnson's willingness to express anything approaching emotion onscreen, and now that Walker has ridden off to that Ranger Station in the sky, they clearly can't rely on their police departments to prevent the younguns from being deprive of a pulse

Just hope that your marksmanship is at least average
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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