Dry texter but keeps re-engaging?

[redcouch]

I’ve been talking to this girl i met a few weeks back, and we've went out on a couple dates, which have been pretty nice. The conversation flows, the vibe is good, we have cool chemistry. Outside of the few times we've seen each other in person though, the dynamic is dry as hell.

I’m not even a huge texter myself, but it's nice to build some rapport/energy with a chick here and there when not together. With her, though, it's essentially all one-word or low-effort responses, and eventually I just let the conversation die because i genuinely don't care to keep it going.

When I do let it die, a few days later she’ll hit me up again and restart the conversation herself. Then it basically repeats. Dry conversation, I stop pushing it, she eventually re-engages.

The thing is, when I ask her to do something, she seems eager and receptive, and never has flaked on anything.

The lack of rapport when apart makes me feel less inclined to plan stuff, like i'm doing all the work. idk if I just should create some more digital distance and use texting to just make plans or what... Any thoughts?

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Not disclosing whether or not you've had sex is like a commenter on a dating forum or subreddit not disclosing their gender.

But it's important to remember to take account of the totality of her behavior - not just when you're physically together, but the time spent apart as well. If they're suboptimal when you're apart, deduct a points from any good time you've spent together in person.

If you get involved in a LTR with this chick and one of your parents dies, will she be doling out one-word responses when you're emotionally crushed?

 

[BPH]

Not disclosing whether or not you've had sex is like a commenter on a dating forum or subreddit not disclosing their gender.

This...this is like the most important thing to understand the dynamic.

Because if you are having sex @redcouch and she's like this (dry, but re-engages and doesn't flake), then maybe that's just how she is. My advice is to always judge by actions and not words.

I've had plenty of chicks be super excited and responsive over text, with wordy answers, double-texts, etc...only to completely ghost on the day we had plans.

 

[redcouch]

If you get involved in a LTR with this chick and one of your parents dies, will she be doling out one-word responses when you're emotionally crushed?

Wow, this is really insightful and crazy good food for though moving forward...

And yeah, not having sex... @BPH

 

[Bingo-Player]

She sounds like damaged goods , my guess would be there is either past or present deep routed psychological trauma related to men there

I would proceed with extreme caution

 

[BPH]

Wow, this is really insightful and crazy good food for though moving forward...

And yeah, not having sex... @BPH

Ok, can you elaborate on how those dates went then?

Did you try to have sex? Did she try? How many dates has it been? Stuff like that.

Because if you're subsidizing her night out and she doesn't feel like she owes you anything, then it's obvious why she barely responds until you've presented a new offer.

 

[The Duke]

How about asking her why she isn't much of a texter? I don't understand why you guys make this stuff so hard.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Did you kiss her? Did you hold hands?

You are still part of the seduction process and courtship, which ultimately culminates in sex. If she is following your lead, receptive to your invitations, and you are creating opportunities for romantic and physical escalation, then continue doing what you are doing. If you don't like her personality or you're not having fun with her, then stop. If you do not have any other leads and she is your only woman now, then you have no choice but to continue on.

Eventually, for different reasons, you may naturally stop putting in the same level of effort. If her interest is high and she doesn't want to lose the connection, she may become less passive and start pursuing you more, which can change the dynamic.

Overall, judge her by how she responds to you in person and whether the interaction continues progressing, rather than by how entertaining her texts are.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Wow, this is really insightful and crazy good food for though moving forward...

And yeah, not having sex... @BPH

Sounds like a typical disinterested woman who is waiting for something better to come along but letting you take her on dates in the meantime.

Have you pushed the boundary physically at all? Any escalation? Have you progressed in any meaningful way between dates?

If no, then I fear you may be in the situation where you are taking her on dates, get nothing in return and then she calls a guy after she gets home from being out with you to come fvck her brains out.

I've been on both sides of that, I can assure you it's better to NOT be on the side that you are trending towards being on.

 

[Barrister]

Sounds like you are far more into her than she is into you. You care way too much to be getting this bent out of shape over a chick you have gone on two dates with. I am guessing you haven't even tried to escalate physically with her on said dates. Hence her detached communication style. She is bored and sort of just playing with her food when she throws you a text message.

Go on date 3 and up the ante. Get close at a bar and use kino while you are sitting there. Make sure you're legs are touching, put your hand on hers, etc. If this is met with resistance, then simply move on. On to the next at that point. In this day and age there are very few situations where playing the long game make sense (maybe work and the gym). If this is some rando otherwise you have nothing to lose.

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

I've met these types before. Some people are just genuinly boring and dry. Fuc* her brains out and see if it changes anything and tease her for being boring/dry, make it entertaining for yourself

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I've met these types before. Some people are just genuinly boring and dry. Fuc* her brains out and see if it changes anything and tease her for being boring/dry, make it entertaining for yourself

I had a woman I dated for 6-7 months that was a lot like this. She was a dry texter and never really texted a lot. She worked at a place where they weren't allowed to be on their phones so usually didn't hear from her during the 9-10 hours she worked. Sometimes before/sometimes after, but she would always respond and accepted dates and told me she loved our convos, etc...

Never got the sense she was really that into me, but she was good looking and a cross fit chick that was in great shape and I fvcked the life out of her for those 6-7 months until spring came and some dude she used to date came back into the picture and she got back together with him...

All good tho...6 or 7 months of amazing sex with a fit, tight body woman is always a dub in my book hahaha