"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Proper Screening

p_1337

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Wanted to create a thread to summarize thoughts around screening girls before actually investing time and money on a first date.

Most of my prospects are cultivated from dating apps, and I know we've all had our time wasted (even just swiping, doing initial messages and paying for memberships) - thus it's best to maximize effort.

I'd also much rather get rejected during the introductory phases of courtship, than to waste even more resources on an hour-plus date.

Imagine this scenario: blocking off your precious Friday evening -- a girl who appears super eager and flirtatious comes straight to your place for 'wine' (and some other pretense you mentioned)... yet nothing happens (not even a kiss). Despite your best efforts, the vibe isn't there and she doesn't balks at your advances. Your night is wasted and you know you'll never see her again. It's a ****ty feeling.

What is everyone's typical approach here when it comes to screening? What specific questions do you like to ask?

My general approach:
1. Qualifying questions and flirting via text (testing for compliance and attraction)
  • Teasing, flirting and seeing how compliant she is when you attempt to make plans (especially if you push for her to come straight to yours for the first meet).
  • I will even sprinkle in a voice note or two, to build more comfort and gauge interest levels. The voice note is also a viable way to restart if she ghosts after the initial messages.
  • Sharing photos (i.e. a couple selfies) for identity confirmation and to build more comfort before the meet.
  • Even if she seems super eager, this isn't always enough- hence why I like to also implement step 2.

2,. Video call (for at least 15 minutes, up to 30 minutes max)
  • Best way to quickly screen for rapport and if see if there's a "vibe" before meeting in-person.
  • This is also a valuable way to see if she looks anything like her pictures.
 
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"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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The Duke

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There's no fool proof method. But expecting a girl that you haven't met yet to come to your place for sehx after she had some wine is delusional. If it happens it does, if not you shouldn't feel neglected. If spending an hour getting to know someone in person is too much then I suggest hiring hookers. Thats the most efficient way and requires the least investment in the other persons mental bank account.

If you want them to invest in your cahk, then you need to first invest in their mind.
 

Clockwerk50

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You have to pay attention to how she communicates. Is she investing time and effort into the conversation? Is she flirting and insinuating things that the two of you could do together? Is she making it easy to keep the conversation going and showing genuine interest? Is she trying to seduce you? Again, remember, women communicate covertly.

Regardless, I'd strongly advise against the video call/FaceTime. More often than not, you risk creating unmet expectations, killing some of the mystery, or end up scaring her, and she may end up running for the hills. The goal has always been to get off the phone and meet in person as soon as reasonably possible since any de-escalation in interest or attraction over the phone can kill the opportunity before you ever meet.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

p_1337

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Looks like the objective of this thread was misinterpreted.

I'm not looking for an 'unrealistic' 100% hit rate - just for better strategies to screen for women who are actually interested (in me) and not just endlessly window shopping.

To further clarify: this is via meeting women via dating apps (where swiping and messaging is heavily time-consuming + requires a paid app subscription to have any modicum of success)- and wanting to be more efficient with my time and money (as a man who works full-time + a myriad of other responsibilities).
 

BackInTheGame78

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1) What has she EARNED from you based on her consistent behavior over months that doesn't involve sex

2) Take sex out of the equation. What do you think about her? Do you like being around her?

3) Does she prefer making your d!ck hard or making your life hard?

4) Think with your big head instead of your little head.
 

BaronOfHair

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I'm not looking for an 'unrealistic' 100% hit rate - just for better strategies to screen for women who are actually interested (in me) and not just endlessly window shopping
Insofar as apps and OLD go, be vigilant regarding not only what gals post(Ex. She's more or less naked/frequently down on all fours in almost every photograph, despite the fact that she's not a professional glamour model), but the manner in which they do so. Those who have a tough time formulating coherent thoughts in complete sentences made up of everyday language(Rather than therapy speak, academic jargon, Internet slang, etc etc), are a lousy investment, I've found anyway
 

plumber

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can not. a woman could demonstrate lots of red flags but at the same time really be into you. perhaps enough to cancel the flags. you don't know until you roll the dice.

better to have 50 first dates that go no place, then 1 that ends in divorce....

i get what your asking. how can i simplify this so i don't have to risk as much.

how to identify the perfect fit can not be done low cost. best you can do it walk as soon as you know its not what you want. dates are cheaper than relationships.

by far the least expensive over time is paid in cash for service.
 

BillyPilgrim

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Looks like the objective of this thread was misinterpreted.

I'm not looking for an 'unrealistic' 100% hit rate - just for better strategies to screen for women who are actually interested (in me) and not just endlessly window shopping.

To further clarify: this is via meeting women via dating apps (where swiping and messaging is heavily time-consuming + requires a paid app subscription to have any modicum of success)- and wanting to be more efficient with my time and money (as a man who works full-time + a myriad of other responsibilities).
Using a customizable but consistent template of lines and moves to use at certain points in the pre-meet talking phase so you can compare the responses of every new prospect with how the girls and women who you actually phucked responded (to the same lines and moves). I.e., sharpening your spidey senses against these black widows so you can avoid the web of the posers and get to the lace and lingerie of the truly high-interested.

The trick is to develop the knowledge base to the point where you get a good enough feel so you can loosen the template enough to make it feel organic.
 
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“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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Cheeky_James

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@p_1337

Did this Friday night scenario actually happen to you? And was it after an initial date or straight to your place first date?

I have gotten straight to the house action off the apps.
It depends what you want.
If you just want hookups /casual/FWB type deals
you have to screen them for receptiveness to ;

-your sexytalk …showing sexual intent , sexually suggestive compliments and banter etc

- for a “LoverMan” or casual ongoing relationship

those 2 main things really.

some dude on reddit got 65 chicks in year , straight to his crib from apps. Maybe google his reddit for tips, he wrote a guide on it afaik.
 

BillyPilgrim

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@p_1337

Did this Friday night scenario actually happen to you? And was it after an initial date or straight to your place first date?

I have gotten straight to the house action off the apps.
It depends what you want.
If you just want hookups /casual/FWB type deals
you have to screen them for receptiveness to ;

-your sexytalk …showing sexual intent , sexually suggestive compliments and banter etc

- for a “LoverMan” or casual ongoing relationship

those 2 main things really.

some dude on reddit got 65 chicks in year , straight to his crib from apps. Maybe google his reddit for tips, he wrote a guide on it afaik.
LMAO it was some Jenga bait bs the 65-chick guy used on 20-25 y/o chicks. Not widely replicable lol.

But ya some form of sexting is the key. Pro tip - if she insists on sex talking in general terms only, she's trying to bait you with her P into a scenario like in the OP. I.e. a chick who engages in sex talk and says "I love going at it all night, btw do you like to hike and eat healthy?" is a bullsh1tter, while a chick who says "I wanna suck your c0ck and watch you lose it" it a real one.
 

Cheeky_James

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LMAO it was some Jenga bait bs the 65-chick guy used on 20-25 y/o chicks. Not widely replicable lol.

But ya some form of sexting is the key. Pro tip - if she insists on sex talking in general terms only, she's trying to bait you with her P into a scenario like in the OP. I.e. a chick who engages in sex talk and says "I love going at it all night, btw do you like to hike and eat healthy?" is a bullsh1tter, while a chick who says "I wanna suck your c0ck and watch you lose it" it a real one.
what’s Jenga bait? Like, he was inviting them to play the game Jenga at his place? :D
 

Divorced w 3

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Imagine this scenario: blocking off your precious Friday evening --
That’s why you don’t give a new woman your weekend. You go out on days that aren’t your best days. (Monday, Tuesday , Wednesday) She doesn’t just need to earn your time, you also stimulate her thinking because you (hopefully) have better things to do than give some woman you just met your best days of the week.

Seduction 101 - get the little things right first.
 

Cheeky_James

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LMAO it was some Jenga bait bs the 65-chick guy used on 20-25 y/o chicks. Not widely replicable lol.

But ya some form of sexting is the key. Pro tip - if she insists on sex talking in general terms only, she's trying to bait you with her P into a scenario like in the OP. I.e. a chick who engages in sex talk and says "I love going at it all night, btw do you like to hike and eat healthy?" is a bullsh1tter, while a chick who says "I wanna suck your c0ck and watch you lose it" it a real one.
It’s interesting you say it’s not widely replicable , when the guy pulled it off 65 times in a row ?
What is the difference between the 20-25 bracket to the 25-35 or 35-45 brackets…
Jenga and chill is Jenga and chill.
Chicks know what it means regardless of age.
 
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"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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BillyPilgrim

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It’s interesting you say it’s not widely replicable , when the guy pulled it off 65 times in a row ?
What is the difference between the 20-25 bracket to the 25-35 or 35-45 brackets…
Jenga and chill is Jenga and chill.
Chicks know what it means regardless of age.
A college educated chick over 25 who has travelled internationally isn't going to be down for Jenga. That dude on reddit was targeting the same demo over and over.

Don't advise legos or playdoh either. Twister is a different story.
 

Cheeky_James

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A college educated chick over 25 who has travelled internationally isn't going to be down for Jenga. That dude on reddit was targeting the same demo over and over.

Don't advise legos or playdoh either. Twister is a different story.
It’s just the excuse /cover story.
It could be movie & chill, ****tails and chill, read international travel books & chill…

It’s making it sexual /bringing up that frame and then making the play for it that matters.

If she’s classy -make it champagne , strawberries & chill :D

OPs screening process is pretty good. Depends what he wants. I always make lustful comments on the chick pics that turn me on. So she knows I have desire idk.,if she’s the type that has a strict 3 date rule not much else can be done really.
 

BillyPilgrim

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It’s just the excuse /cover story.
It could be movie & chill, ****tails and chill, read international travel books & chill…

It’s making it sexual /bringing up that frame and then making the play for it that matters.

If she’s classy -make it champagne , strawberries & chill :D

OPs screening process is pretty good. Depends what he wants. I always make lustful comments on the chick pics that turn me on. So she knows I have desire idk.,if she’s the type that has a strict 3 date rule not much else can be done really.
The classy chicks will do the strawberries and chill at a 5 star hotel after 5-6 dates lmao. Imo the younger demo was the key element.
 

Solomon

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There's no fool proof method. But expecting a girl that you haven't met yet to come to your place for sehx after she had some wine is delusional. .
What you're saying is true but I gotta disagree somewhat here, If OP is good-looking(Henry Cavill/Michael B Jordan type etc), he can get away with having girls come straight to his place. I've done it myself a few times and got a buddy who hasn't taken a girl out on a date in 6+ years. There is a catch: this is mostly online gaming (can work for nightgame i.e. clubs as well)

Now mind you if he is not good-looking or handsome, he may have some 5s or land whales come through...just offering another perspective lol
 

Solomon

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The trick is to develop the knowledge base to the point where you get a good enough feel so you can loosen the template enough to make it feel organic.
Totally agree sounds like OP is looking for girls who are dtf, so some things I would vet for

-Is she flirty or receptive to flirting i.e. innuendo etc
-Is she sending you pics, preferably unsolicited i.e. I was talking to a girl I met on the apps she sent me a high-quality picture of her naked at her dask with glasses giving the whole sexy secretary look
-Is she bringing up dirty convo's first etc

If you experince enough you can sometimes gauge these things of the flow of conversations how a girl says things or what she is saying. The key is not being pushy, though. When I was younger I use to talk my way into ***** just to talk my way out of it. If a girl is really DTF they make it easy for you but you gotta be good at flirting via text and picking up nunance, I don't waste my time with facetime.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

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