Proper Screening

[p_1337]

Wanted to create a thread to summarize thoughts around screening girls before actually investing time and money on a first date.

Most of my prospects are cultivated from dating apps, and I know we've all had our time wasted (even just swiping, doing initial messages and paying for memberships) - thus it's best to maximize effort.

I'd also much rather get rejected during the introductory phases of courtship, than to waste even more resources on an hour-plus date.

Imagine this scenario: blocking off your precious Friday evening -- a girl who appears super eager and flirtatious comes straight to your place for 'wine' (and some other pretense you mentioned)... yet nothing happens (not even a kiss). Despite your best efforts, the vibe isn't there and she doesn't balks at your advances. Your night is wasted and you know you'll never see her again. It's a ****ty feeling.

What is everyone's typical approach here when it comes to screening? What specific questions do you like to ask?

My general approach:
1. Qualifying questions and flirting via text (testing for compliance and attraction)

• Teasing, flirting and seeing how compliant she is when you attempt to make plans (especially if you push for her to come straight to yours for the first meet).
• I will even sprinkle in a voice note or two, to build more comfort and gauge interest levels. The voice note is also a viable way to restart if she ghosts after the initial messages.
• Sharing photos (i.e. a couple selfies) for identity confirmation and to build more comfort before the meet.
• Even if she seems super eager, this isn't always enough- hence why I like to also implement step 2.

2,. Video call (for at least 15 minutes, up to 30 minutes max)

• Best way to quickly screen for rapport and if see if there's a "vibe" before meeting in-person.
• This is also a valuable way to see if she looks anything like her pictures.

 

[The Duke]

There's no fool proof method. But expecting a girl that you haven't met yet to come to your place for sehx after she had some wine is delusional. If it happens it does, if not you shouldn't feel neglected. If spending an hour getting to know someone in person is too much then I suggest hiring hookers. Thats the most efficient way and requires the least investment in the other persons mental bank account.

If you want them to invest in your cahk, then you need to first invest in their mind.

 

[Clockwerk50]

You have to pay attention to how she communicates. Is she investing time and effort into the conversation? Is she flirting and insinuating things that the two of you could do together? Is she making it easy to keep the conversation going and showing genuine interest? Is she trying to seduce you? Again, remember, women communicate covertly.

Regardless, I'd strongly advise against the video call/FaceTime. More often than not, you risk creating unmet expectations, killing some of the mystery, or end up scaring her, and she may end up running for the hills. The goal has always been to get off the phone and meet in person as soon as reasonably possible since any de-escalation in interest or attraction over the phone can kill the opportunity before you ever meet.

 

[Bigpapa]

Wanted to create a thread to summarize thoughts around screening girls before actually investing time and money on a first date.

Most of my prospects are cultivated from dating apps, and I know we've all had our time wasted (even just swiping, doing initial messages and paying for memberships) - thus it's best to maximize effort.

I'd also much rather get rejected during the introductory phases of courtship, than to waste even more resources on an hour-plus date.

Imagine this scenario: blocking off your precious Friday evening -- a girl who appears super eager and flirtatious comes straight to your place for 'wine' (and some other pretense you mentioned)... yet nothing happens (not even a kiss). Despite your best efforts, the vibe isn't there and she doesn't balks at your advances. Your night is wasted and you know you'll never see her again. It's a ****ty feeling.

What is everyone's typical approach here when it comes to screening? What specific questions do you like to ask?

My general approach:
1. Qualifying questions and flirting via text (testing for compliance and attraction)

• Teasing, flirting and seeing how compliant she is when you attempt to make plans (especially if you push for her to come straight to yours for the first meet).
• I will even sprinkle in a voice note or two, to build more comfort and gauge interest levels. The voice note is also a viable way to restart if she ghosts after the initial messages.
• Sharing photos (i.e. a couple selfies) for identity confirmation and to build more comfort before the meet.
• Even if she seems super eager, this isn't always enough- hence why I like to also implement step 2.

2,. Video call (for at least 15 minutes, up to 30 minutes max)

• Best way to quickly screen for rapport and if see if there's a "vibe" before meeting in-person.
• This is also a valuable way to see if she looks anything like her pictures.

you also have to be reasonable

A girl coming to your place is a big investment from her end, even after you had 2/3 dates

So a girl coming to your place after some messages / FaceTime , unless she is dtf and likes you / or just crazy , seems very unlikely to happen

long term winning strategy is to invite them to a drink somewhere neutral

if you can not afford to pay for 2 drinks, most likely you have other bigger problems than women

 

[Sega Genesis]

If you want them to invest in your cahk, then you need to first invest in their mind.

This comment is absolute Gold.
Agree with what @Clockwerk50 posted as well.

 

[BeExcellent]

@The Duke is correct. Nothing to add except to say that some here have ridiculously unrealistic exectations.

Facepalm

 

[p_1337]

Looks like the objective of this thread was misinterpreted.

I'm not looking for an 'unrealistic' 100% hit rate - just for better strategies to screen for women who are actually interested (in me) and not just endlessly window shopping.

To further clarify: this is via meeting women via dating apps (where swiping and messaging is heavily time-consuming + requires a paid app subscription to have any modicum of success)- and wanting to be more efficient with my time and money (as a man who works full-time + a myriad of other responsibilities).

 

[BackInTheGame78]

1) What has she EARNED from you based on her consistent behavior over months that doesn't involve sex

2) Take sex out of the equation. What do you think about her? Do you like being around her?

3) Does she prefer making your d!ck hard or making your life hard?

4) Think with your big head instead of your little head.

 

[BaronOfHair]

I'm not looking for an 'unrealistic' 100% hit rate - just for better strategies to screen for women who are actually interested (in me) and not just endlessly window shopping

Insofar as apps and OLD go, be vigilant regarding not only what gals post(Ex. She's more or less naked/frequently down on all fours in almost every photograph, despite the fact that she's not a professional glamour model), but the manner in which they do so. Those who have a tough time formulating coherent thoughts in complete sentences made up of everyday language(Rather than therapy speak, academic jargon, Internet slang, etc etc), are a lousy investment, I've found anyway

 

[plumber]

can not. a woman could demonstrate lots of red flags but at the same time really be into you. perhaps enough to cancel the flags. you don't know until you roll the dice.

better to have 50 first dates that go no place, then 1 that ends in divorce....

i get what your asking. how can i simplify this so i don't have to risk as much.

how to identify the perfect fit can not be done low cost. best you can do it walk as soon as you know its not what you want. dates are cheaper than relationships.

by far the least expensive over time is paid in cash for service.