Dating in germany as a male with russian roots

[summersky]

I was a child when we migrated to germany, I have russian roots. I am 173 cm tall and would say that I am average looking but I look different than the most germans. Due to my russian roots I have a wide forehead and a wide midface. The most people I meet can immediately tell that I am not a german and tell me I look russian. I was bullied a lot because I look different and I know some germans have a bad opinion about people from russia. Never had much success with german girls and I think it is because of my "different" looks. Most german girls go for german guys I think. Not many go for russian guys. I had much more success with black, asian, russian and ukrainian girls. But there are not that many of them here. When I tell friends about my experiences, they say that it has nothing to do with my "different" looks and that I have equal chances with german girls. But I think there is some truth to my assumptions. What do you think?

Thinking about moving to another country or going for escorts for the rest of my life.

Regards
summersky

 

[BackInTheGame78]

More so because you lack confidence in yourself than anything else I would suspect.

 

[summersky]

That's what my friends also say but why do I have success with foreign girls and none with german girls?

 

[Clockwerk50]

For most people, having things in common matters more than being different. Shared language, culture, humor, upbringing, and values make people feel more comfortable and connected. So if these German women aren't especially attracted to foreigners, being Russian by itself probably won't give you much of an advantage. Unless you're bringing something else to the table besides being different, your background alone probably won't create attraction. Most people are looking for someone whose personality complements their own or fulfills an emotional need, not simply someone who is foreign.

There is only a small group of people in any community who actively seek out what's foreign or exotic. They often become fascinated with people from other cultures because they see them as exciting, different, or an escape from the ordinary and their lifes. They tend to project fantasies onto foreigners, valuing the idea of them as much as the person themselves. Again, if you're not naturally fitting into that “exotic” image for them, or if these German women aren't wired that way, then your background won't carry much weight on its own.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

That's what my friends also say but why do I have success with foreign girls and none with german girls?

Because you have created a self fulfilling prophecy for yourself.

Your belief system causes your subconscious mind to find ways to achieve what you believe in that regard so you are likely doing things differently without noticing in those situations and causing yourself worse results because of it.

 

[OngBak]

Chances are low for you to compete there if you aren't high value. Germany is a Place, where you would have to compete with many high value guys and woman there can sniff it out pretty quickly if you are one or not. They are strongly educated and have high but realistic expectations

 

[Gamisch]

Thats bogus

If anything Germany is THE border between west and east Europe ( remember Berlin wall?). Most lets say Americans would be hard pressed to distinguish a german from a Russian just by looks.

It's YOU. And even if you want prostitution, 30 / 40 euro a pop...won't get much cheaper than chilling in das laufhaus mein freund.

 

[plumber]

I was a child when we migrated to germany, I have russian roots. I am 173 cm tall and would say that I am average looking but I look different than the most germans. Due to my russian roots I have a wide forehead and a wide midface. The most people I meet can immediately tell that I am not a german and tell me I look russian. I was bullied a lot because I look different and I know some germans have a bad opinion about people from russia. Never had much success with german girls and I think it is because of my "different" looks. Most german girls go for german guys I think. Not many go for russian guys. I had much more success with black, asian, russian and ukrainian girls. But there are not that many of them here. When I tell friends about my experiences, they say that it has nothing to do with my "different" looks and that I have equal chances with german girls. But I think there is some truth to my assumptions. What do you think?

Thinking about moving to another country or going for escorts for the rest of my life.

Regards
summersky

maybe you have some idea already of what and why. and don't know what to do about it. what have you been doing to improve ??

 

[BaronOfHair]

...I know some germans have a bad opinion about people from russia

Stop by The US, if you're eager to see how low that opinion can REALLY go. Sad to read you've had difficulties, at any rate

 

[Tilex]

As an outsider from the US, I find both Germans and Russians to be very reserved. Maybe you need to open up more.
Two very reserved cultures don't mesh well.

 

[JohnBee]

Your experience actually points toward a clear strategy: stop fishing in the wrong pond. If you consistently have better chemistry and more success with Russian, Ukrainian, Asian, and Black women, that is real data about where your genuine compatibility lies, not a consolation prize.

For serious relationships, apps and platforms with strong international user bases give you access to women who aren't filtering through whatever local bias exists in Germany. Many Russian and Ukrainian women living across Europe are also open to men who share cultural background, which gives you a natural conversation foundation beyond just looks.

One caution: when pursuing women from Eastern Europe online specifically, romance scam rates are high. Always video-call early, verify the person is consistent across multiple conversations, and never send money regardless of the story. Genuine women interested in real relationships won't pressure you financially.

 

[Bigpapa]

I was a child when we migrated to germany, I have russian roots. I am 173 cm tall and would say that I am average looking but I look different than the most germans. Due to my russian roots I have a wide forehead and a wide midface. The most people I meet can immediately tell that I am not a german and tell me I look russian. I was bullied a lot because I look different and I know some germans have a bad opinion about people from russia. Never had much success with german girls and I think it is because of my "different" looks. Most german girls go for german guys I think. Not many go for russian guys. I had much more success with black, asian, russian and ukrainian girls. But there are not that many of them here. When I tell friends about my experiences, they say that it has nothing to do with my "different" looks and that I have equal chances with german girls. But I think there is some truth to my assumptions. What do you think?

Thinking about moving to another country or going for escorts for the rest of my life.

Regards
summersky

I think that there are 2 issues here

firstly, your mindset I think is cooked. And even though you might have reasons to have this mindset, the path forward is to change it

secondly, being kinda on the short side of height ( Germans are reasonably tall ) + average looking + look different is not ideal

the good side of the thing is that you can still improve your appearance by improving your style

all in all, I think is a bit of an uphill battle in Germany. Maybe makes more sense to move to Poland / baltics?

but even if you decide to move you still have to upgrade your mindset + improve your style

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

I think that there are 2 issues here

firstly, your mindset I think is cooked. And even though you might have reasons to have this mindset, the path forward is to change it

secondly, being kinda on the short side of height ( Germans are reasonably tall ) + average looking + look different is not ideal

the good side of the thing is that you can still improve your appearance by improving your style

all in all, I think is a bit of an uphill battle in Germany. Maybe makes more sense to move to Poland / baltics?

but even if you decide to move you still have to upgrade your mindset + improve your style

well thought out and mature. Im also of the opinion that the whole mindset thing is overblown. True mindset is essential, maybe OP needs to watch some daygame videos and improve his skills in the bedroom/during dates. However, if you know u have more chemistry with other types, forget the ones you dont have it with. Choose women who choose you and if its still tough, move out, I just left my continent for better opportunities with women and took a drastic pay cut as a result but Im a lot happier and having more sex now.

 

[Bokanovsky]

I was a child when we migrated to germany, I have russian roots. I am 173 cm tall and would say that I am average looking but I look different than the most germans. Due to my russian roots I have a wide forehead and a wide midface. The most people I meet can immediately tell that I am not a german and tell me I look russian. I was bullied a lot because I look different and I know some germans have a bad opinion about people from russia. Never had much success with german girls and I think it is because of my "different" looks. Most german girls go for german guys I think. Not many go for russian guys. I had much more success with black, asian, russian and ukrainian girls. But there are not that many of them here. When I tell friends about my experiences, they say that it has nothing to do with my "different" looks and that I have equal chances with german girls. But I think there is some truth to my assumptions. What do you think?

Thinking about moving to another country or going for escorts for the rest of my life.

Regards
summersky

There's probably some truth to your assumptions, although I suspect it has less to do with your appearance than with your ethnic background. As a foreigner, you will almost always be perceived differently. That can be a good thing or a bad thing. If you are a white Western European living in the U.S., your "foreignness” will likely be an advantage, as Americans generally have a favorable view of Western Europe. You will be seen as cultured and sophisticated. Similarly, if you are a white American living in Europe, you won’t have much trouble with girls as Europeans still have a Hollywood-influenced perception of America. Plus, America is associated with strength and people always gravitate towards that.

Being Russian in Germany or elsewhere in the West is a different story. Russia has been portrayed in a negative light for over 100 years due to past conflicts and ideological differences. They are the perennial bad guy. Whenever Russia is covered in Western media it’s always in relation to war, political repression, corruption, organized crime, etc. In movies and TV show, Russians are overwhelmingly portrayed as negative characters. It’s silly to pretend that these things to do not create subconscious biases. It’s no different from how certain ethnic groups were treated in America in the past. Being Irish, Greek or Italian would have been a major disadvantage 100 year ago (not so much now). It is what it is.

 

[Bigpapa]

Being Russian in Germany or elsewhere in the West is a different story. Russia has been portrayed in a negative light for over 100 years due to past conflicts and ideological differences. They are the perennial bad guy. Whenever Russia is covered in Western media it’s always in relation to war, political repression, corruption, organized crime, etc. In movies and TV show, Russians are overwhelmingly portrayed as negative characters. It’s silly to pretend that these things to do not create subconscious biases. It’s no different from how certain ethnic groups were treated in America in the past. Being Irish, Greek or Italian would have been a major disadvantage 100 year ago (not so much now). It is what it is.

If you have good smv, it does not really matter

plenty of good looking africans ( with game ) doing very well anywhere in the world

same with Russian guys, etc

It does not really matter from where you come, as long as you have a decent enough smv

if your smv is average or bellow average, being different and coming from a stigmatized part of the world will start playing more and more against you

 

[Bokanovsky]

If you have good smv, it does not really matter

plenty of good looking africans ( with game ) doing very well anywhere in the world

same with Russian guys, etc

It does not really matter from where you come, as long as you have a decent enough smv

if your smv is average or bellow average, being different and coming from a stigmatized part of the world will start playing more and more against you

I'd venture a guess that the percentage of Africans doing "very well" outside of Africa is minuscule compared to the overall African population. It's called the exception that proves the rule.

Yes, having a very high SMV helps a great deal. If the OP was a tall, handsome millionaire I suspect he wouldn't be on SS. But he's an average dude and when you're average, all those things that I mentioned in my earlier post matter a lot more then when you're at the top of the food chain.